Talon

"I do like when you hold me like this," I say softly.

"Me too. I just want to feel like you're mine, ya know? Not like I'm renting you for a few months."

"That scares me too—that at the end of this, you'll leave."

"Asia, look around. I bought us this beautiful house, I got you a car, I'm not drinking, I let the rodent sleep on the bed, and I'm having sex with my hand. I'm doing everything I can to show you I'm serious about this."

"I know that, and I appreciate every single thing. I really do. I'm serious about this, too. I can't buy us expensive things, but I'm completely committed to you and us and making this work. I just need a little time to feel comfortable with the sex part, because that's big to me. For me, it's not solely physical; it's giving a huge part of myself, and I guess I'm a little guarded because of your past and the things you've said to me."

"I get it. I do. Like I said, when you're ready, you let me know. I'm not gonna stop trying, though. In case you haven't noticed, I kinda enjoy it."

"I noticed. And I kinda like it."

Tonight, we fall asleep in each other’s arms, like a real couple, not an experiment.

Chapter 17

Talon

I didn't realize being married and sharing my space with someone would change so much of my life, in ways I never even thought about when I signed up for this. It's really no big surprise that so many couples end up divorced, because it's really frigging hard to figure out how you're supposed to act—what's right, what's wrong, what gets you in the dog house for the night, and what makes you Prince Charming. Couples should be given a user's manual when they get together, or there should be some kind of class we have to take in high school or college. I sure as hell ain't ever using Algebra, but I could definitely use Wife 101.

"Where are you going?" This is a very important question when you're married, apparently. And the answer, I've learned, is even more important. Almost as important as knowing when you're coming back.

I learned this the hard way after just two days of living with my new wife, so now I know better.

For the record, "Out" and "I don't know" are not qualifying acceptable answers.

"I'm heading over to Lukas's for my weekly tattoo appointment."

She's sitting in the breakfast nook sipping coffee, with a bunch of fabric swatches splayed out in front of her that the cat keeps lying on upside down, trying to get her attention.

"Oh. Cool," she replies absently.

"Do you want to come with me?" I'm a little concerned that she almost never leaves the house. She seems content, but I've never met a chick who doesn't like to go out and shop or eat or hang out with friends or stand around in a public place sending text messages.

She looks up at me, her eyes wide with surprise, and I see she's got her hair up in a messy ponytail and is wearing purple-rimmed glasses that make her look adorable, nerdy, and sexy all at the same time. It really freaks me out—this inner battle of wanting to both hug her and bend her over the table.

"Oh…no, thanks. I'm going to make you a shirt for your concert on Friday. I noticed when I looked online that in all of your concert photos, you don't have a shirt on." Her fingers touch the fabrics again.

I stifle a laugh. "No, baby. I'm the one who doesn't wear a shirt."

"Huh?" She looks back up at me and crinkles her nose.

"I don't wear a shirt on stage. It's like my thing. The chicks dig it."

"So, you're the shirtless cock star?"

I grin at her. "Yup."

"Not anymore."

Here is where that manual would come in handy. Do I go along with this, or put up a fight to maintain my coolness?

"Asia…baby. Sweetie. Sugar lips. I can't change my stage persona. Do you want the fans to think I'm pussy-whipped?"

She shrugs nonchalantly. "I don't mind if they think that. Do you? I mean, you're a musician, not a stripper." Her smile could melt stone. And those eyes…

Loaded question alert.

Loaded question alert.

Proceed with caution.

"Ya know what? You're right. I don't need to have my abs all over the stage, now do I?" I bend down and kiss her forehead. "Plus, I have a wife now who's going to be dragging her tongue all over me soon anyway. Right?"

"That's the plan."

I love when we tease each other, not that I want her to know that yet. I'm never bored with this chick. She's always got my mind working with her, wondering what she's thinking, rifling witty comebacks at me, and making me ricochet some back at her. And I love how she can laugh at herself. Just yesterday, she tripped on the single step that leads from the porch to the back door and pretty much fell flat on her face and laughed her ass off for about ten minutes. Most of the women I know would have sat and cried or tried to somehow blame me that they fell. She was totally sober when she did it too, which is even better.

"I can't wait to see the shirt you make, actually." I give Pixie's head a little rub and grab my keys off the table by the door. "I'll be back for dinner. Do you need anything while I'm out there in the big world?"

"No, I'm good. I'm making you baked chicken and rice for dinner."

The fact that a vegetarian makes me meat for dinner must mean she's into me, right?

* * *

When I get to my cousin Lukas's tattoo parlor, he's just finishing up Finn's tattoo. Finn seems to be growing into a permanent fixture in our circle because not only did he grow up with Lukas, but he's also in a band called Ever Lust that opens for Ashes & Embers sometimes. I'd never tell Finn, but their band is actually really good and they are getting more and more popular.

"What's up, Tally-Ho?" Finn goads.

"Don't you have a home?" I say to him. "Every time I come here, you're here." I shouldn't be hanging out in Lukas's area when he's working with a client, but since he's my cousin and Finn is his friend, he bends the rules.

"Speaking of home, how's your order-a-wife doing?" he shoots back. "She was looking pretty hot the other day when I was there."

"Don't talk about my wife, Finn. And stay away from my sister too." I turn to Lukas. "Where is Rayne, anyway? She wasn't at the front desk when I walked in." My sister works here as a receptionist, which I'm not overly thrilled about because I think assholes like Finn come on to her all day long. I know Lukas is just as protective over her as I am, but I still wish she'd get a job in an office or a café.

"She ran upstairs real quick to help Ivy do something," Lukas says, rolling his stool away from Finn. "Okay, man, you're done."

I wait while Lukas finishes up with Finn and cleans up his work area, then I flop down into the chair.

He eyes me as he gets his equipment ready.

"What?" I ask. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

He smirks. "You look different."

"Different how?"

"You look kinda happy. Less edgy."

I roll my eyes at him. "Come on…"

He scoots his stool closer and grabs my arm, inspecting the work he did last week. "I'm serious, man."

"Happy and frustrated as fucking hell is more like it."

Nodding and grinning, he starts to go to work on my inner arm. Hopefully, he'll finish off my sleeve today so we can move on to my leg designs.

"So how are things going?" he asks. "You can talk now that Finn is gone."

"Okay, I guess. It's hard."

"Yup, it is."

"We were at it like cats and dogs at first, but now things are getting a little better."

"That's good. I can't even imagine how hard that is, marrying someone ya don't even know."

"You have no fucking idea."

"Well, it's cool you're sticking with it."

"Yeah." I turn my arm for him. "Our biggest problem is sex."

"Bad sex? Man, that sucks."

"No, not bad sex, just no sex. There's definitely something there, but she cockblocks me constantly. She keeps saying she has to have feelings first. And wants me to have feelings too."

"That's understandable."

"Yeah, but I don't know how to do this shit. How did you do it with Ivy?"

"Do you have feelings for her yet?"

"Yeah. I like her. It's getting stronger."

"Tell her. Show her. Bring her flowers, do things with her, talk to her. Make her feel special."

"I don't do that stuff, man. I never have."

"How did you even pass the tests to get into this thing? You hafta open up to her and make her feel like her heart is safe with you."

"Fuck me. I bought her a car and a house. Doesn't that count?"

"Of course, but I'm talking about little, more personal things."

I mull ideas around in my head. "Like that necklace you made for Ivy?"

He nods. "Exactly."

I blow out a breath. "Okay. I guess I can try that. I'm just not used to all this stuff."

"Because you want to use sex to get her, and now that you can't, you're all messed up."

"I don't know how you do it, man. Ivy's been crazy about you from day fucking one. The nice chicks have always chased after you, and the slutty ones crawl all over me. What's up with that?"

"Maybe it's because that's all you've ever acted like you wanted?"

"Yeah. I guess so."

"She's going with you to the club Friday night, right?"

"Yeah. I'm trying to get her to have her hair done and buy some clothes. She's afraid to spend money; I have to force my gold card on her all the time. She seems kinda nervous about going to the club, though. She's like a hermit." I take a drag on my e-cig. "Oh, and she's making me wear a fucking shirt on stage. I'll probably get booed off."