Talon

I can't stop staring at the picture, analyzing every pixel, looking for hidden clues. His hand isn't touching her ass or her breasts; it's right on her waist. That's good.

He's smiling, but it's not his I want to fuck you smile that I know so well now.

Ugh. I hate being like this. This isn't me.

I slam the laptop lid down. I am not going to do this. It hasn't even been a week yet—I can't have a meltdown just a few days into our first time apart. I have to trust him.

That girl is gorgeous and exotic looking, though. Tall, dark skin, perky boobs, almond-shaped eyes, the blackest of silky hair. Hell, even I'm attracted to her.

No. I'm not going to let my brain go there. He told me he only wants me now and even rammed it into me up against a household appliance to drive his point home. I have to believe him. And I can't forget the #Love hashtag! That must mean something.

I bathe Pixie in a new shampoo that a holistic pet care company sent for us to review, and once she's rinsed and blown-dry, she actually does feel extra soft and even looks whiter, with a hint of coconut scent lingering on her fur. I place her on a tiny black leather chair that Talon bought for her at a children's store for a few photos and type up a quick, positive review to post on her blog. Since I'm back on the laptop, I check Talon's page and the band's page again, but I don't see anything new. I wish the girl in the photo with Talon had been tagged so I could stalk her. I'm not even sure who updates the band page, now that I'm thinking about it.

Evie!

I vaguely recall Talon mentioning that not only does Evie work directly for his mom, but she also does a lot of the marketing and social media updates for the band. So, if she posted this picture, then she must know who this chick is. Flipping my phone around in my hand, I debate whether I should call her and nonchalantly try to get some info about where the guys are and who that girl is. She did say I could call her anytime, so…

"Hi, Asia, what's up?" Evie always sounds sweet on the phone and never busy, rushed, or annoyed like some people do.

"Hi, just called to say hi and see how you're doing."

"I'm good, missing Storm, of course. But he called me this morning and we talked for about half an hour, so that made me feel better."

No fair. If Storm was able to call Evie, why couldn't Talon call me?

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Did you watch the live show online last night? They looked amazing."

"Oh my God, I did, and the Halloween makeup looked outrageous. Storm said it took a while to put on and to wash off. They're doing it for every show, but he did say they were going to talk to the makeup artist about toning it down a little so it doesn't take so long. You know the guys—they can't sit still very long."

"That's the truth. So, who's putting all that makeup on them?"

"There's a makeup artist they hired to go on the tour with them. She's a fan too, so she was happy to go."

Hm. I didn't know about that. Where the heck is she sleeping?

"I didn't know that. I can't picture Talon sitting for that long at all," I say. "Hey, do you update their band pages online?"

"Yeah, usually. Or sometimes Mikah does, but it's usually me. They email me pictures and info from the road, and I upload them."

"That's really cool. Did you post the photos this morning?" Smooth, I am not.

"I did—a bunch from the concert last night, and there was a nice one of Talon with the artist."

"The artist?"

"Yeah, the makeup artist. I thought she'd like seeing her picture posted with the band."

With my husband.

"Oh."

"Asia, are you okay? You sound weird. Did the picture bother you?"

"No…" I hesitate, not wanting Evie to think I'm mad at her, because I'm not. "Okay, a little. I just didn't know who she was when I saw it, and I haven't heard from him at all today or yesterday, and now I'm getting really worried. I mean, he's not even answering my texts, and I don't know why because everything was fine. He and Storm had the sleepover and he thought it was really funny, and he's been leaving me these little notes hidden all over the house, and I don't understand why Storm called you but Talon didn't call me." I have to force myself to stop talking because I just verbally barfed way too much of my whining at poor Evie.

"Asia...take a deep breath."

I breathe.

"First, the makeup artist has a girlfriend. A girlfriend. Storm told me she is not in any way flirting with any of the guys. She's a professional makeup artist who also happens to be a fan. She's traveling by herself and meeting them at each venue. She's not staying with them. So please don't worry yourself about her, okay?"

I feel like an idiot. "I'm sorry, Evie. I'm just not used to this."

"I'm the same way, trust me. Probably worse than you, if that makes you feel any better."

"What about the cat girls? Who are they?"

"They're just stage dancers, and sometimes they sing backup. They've been with the band for a while, and they are both married. So, no worries with them either."

"Evie, thank you. I don't mean to sound so paranoid and jealous."

"You don't. You sound like a newly married woman who's been thrust into a lifestyle she wasn't prepared for. I feel the same way. I had no idea who Storm was when we met. It's taking me a while to get used to all of this too."

"When you talked to Storm, did he say anything about Talon? I'm not sure why I haven't heard from him."

"He didn't. I could text him and ask him, though. I don't mind."

"No, don't do that. I don't want him to think I'm checking up on him." Even though I am. "I'm just a little worried."

"I'm sure everything is fine. He was covered in that makeup, so it probably took him a while after the concert to wash it all off. Then he probably just fell asleep. And from what Storm said, they were traveling all day today and on a pretty tight deadline to get to the next venue in time. Try not to worry."

I take a deep breath and try to calm myself. "I'm trying."

"Do you want to come over? I'm just hanging out doing some work. You're welcome to come over anytime."

"I'd love to, but I have a ton of work to do myself. I really appreciate the offer, though."

"Okay, but I mean it. You can call me or come over anytime. Even in the middle of the night. If you're feeling worried and need to talk, you can call me."

"Thank you. You can do the same. I'm always here. It sounds like you and Storm are over this strange jealousy period, though, and you're not having hourly meltdowns like I am."

"I think we're better now, but we were definitely there not long ago."

"Hopefully I'll get over this soon. Maybe if you hear from Storm, just make sure everything is okay with Talon and send me a text? Just don't make it obvious that I asked, if you can. I really don't want Talon to think I don't trust him."

"No problem. I'll text you later to check up on you."

After talking to Evie I feel a little bit better, at least about the photos of Talon with the girls, but I still don't understand why he hasn't contacted me yet. How hard is it to send a quick text? I was hoping he would be missing me as much as I miss him, but maybe his interest in me really is mostly sexual and I've been reading him wrong the past few weeks. Maybe the #Love didn't mean love as in love.

Grabbing my journal, I take it out on the front porch with me to write about the ups and downs of the past few days. Writing is therapeutic for me, but knowing someone is going to be reading and analyzing this in a few months gives it more of a clinical feel that I don't exactly enjoy. I try to be as honest as I can with what I write, though, because that was the point of this entire project—at least for Dr. Hollister. For me, it was to find a life partner. I'm still just not sure if that's what I've got.

* * *

Just as the sun is setting, my phone beeps with the new Talon-text-tone I added about an hour ago.

Talon: Hey, baby

Me: Hi

Talon: I'm sorry I'm late

Me: It's all right

Talon: No, it's not. Last night was crazy after the show. We had a VIP session, so people paid extra to get backstage to meet us n get autographs and shit.

Me: Oh, that sounds cool.

Talon: Then it took me like a f'n hour to shower all that makeup off. Did you really like it?

Me: I loved it. You looked really hot.

Talon: And what's with the hat? You got a little fetish happening over there? ;-)

Me: Yes :-)

Talon: Ok. I’m bringing it home

Talon: Are you mad?

Me: Not mad. Just upset that I didn't hear from you. I was worried

Talon: Sorry, babe. I forgot to charge my phone so it was dead last night n this morning. It’s been a crazy day and then I fell asleep. I was kinda in a shit mood.

Me: It's ok. I’m sorry. Are you okay?

Talon: I'm fine. Just tired n sometimes we all argue when we're stuck together. It’s hard for me to get any privacy. That’s why I’m texting.

Me: I understand. I missed you all day. I found your note in with the soap stuff. Very sweet.

Talon: I meant every word. I get moody sometimes when I'm on the road. Please don't let it get to you or set us back. I know this is hard for you

Me: I'm fine as long as I know we're ok.

Talon: We're more than ok. I'm not gonna leave you, babe. I'm always with you.

Tears spring to my eyes and roll down my cheeks. Sometimes he knows exactly what I need to hear, and it feels so good to have someone who understands my heart so much.

Me: You're amazing sometimes, ya know?

Talon: I know ;)

Me: I mean it. You're becoming my heart's hero

Talon: Fuck, baby. I need to hear your voice say that someday