Talon

Silence.

Me: I only want you.

Talon: You've doubted that since our wedding day. To me it feels like maybe you still do.

Me: That's not true. And don't lay the beginning on me, both of us were confused in the beginning, but we got past it. Since then I have wanted only you in every way.

Talon: I can't do this shit in text messages. I'm getting on the bus in about twenty minutes. I think we need to take this time to think about things. I'll get in touch with you later.

Me: What does that mean?

A flood of panic and fear grips me, the impact of it nearly sucking the air from my lungs. Is he actually thinking of ending this? Just like that? Over one stupid thing I didn't even actually go through with?

You should have never even been thinking of it.

Talon: It means exactly what I said.

Me: You want to think about breaking up? Over this?

Talon: Don't push me when I'm mad and upset. I never expected this from you. I feel like you gutted me with one fucking sentence. I can't do this with doubt in my mind, or wondering if you have doubt. You've got my head and my heart all fucked up right now.

Fuck fuck fuck

Me: I hate this. Things were going so good.

Talon: No shit. I thought so too. I'm fucking wrecked.

Me: I'm sorry. Can we please just forget this?

Talon: Seriously, Asia? Would you be able to if I told you I wanted to see some chick from my past? We're MARRIED.

Me: Can you please call me before you get on the bus? I'm scared. I don't want to lose you and you're scaring me.

Talon: No. I can't do this. I have a show tonight and my brain feels like it's coming out of my skull. I need to calm down. Asher's giving me a valium for the bus ride. I'm going to sleep for a few hours.

Me: Valium? Why? You never take pills

Talon: He says I look fucked up and twitchy and I think he's right. Please let's just stop this for now. Make sure you put the security system on. I'm turning my phone off now.

Me: Please don't just leave things like this.

I don't receive a reply, and the screen doesn't indicate he read it.

My hand shakes as I continue to stare at the tiny screen, hoping the status will change to read or a reply will come through. Ten minutes later, neither of those things has happened, so he really must have turned his phone off. He never does that because he always wants to make sure I can get in touch with him. Now, with one stupid move on my part, that's changed.

I can't believe he's treating me this way, especially after I've forgiven him several times when he did stupid things. Why can't he do the same? Could he only tolerate me when I was doing everything right? One wrong move, and I'm shut out? Why is he being so unfair?

Anger attempts to take over my fear and sadness but loses. I can't be mad at him. My heart deflects that emotion when it comes to him.

I send Danny a text to at least end some of the guilt I feel.

Me: Thanks for the invite, but I'll pass. I appreciate you reaching out. Hope all is well.

I get off the couch and force myself to make what I need for my soap and lotion orders, hoping to keep my mind busy. Otherwise, I will sit here and stare at the wall and cry all day.

At dinner time, I send Talon another text.

Me: I just want you to know I'm thinking about you, and I'm sorry. I'm worried that you don't feel good. :(

Five minutes later, I get a reply.

Talon: It's probably a sinus or ear infection. I get them sometimes. Storm's got some antibiotics he gave me. I'm fine.

Me: I hate that we didn't get to say good-bye. :(

Talon: Me too

Me: Can you call me? I think we should talk.

Talon: I'm not ready to talk yet. I'm still really disappointed, hurt and pissed over this & I don't want to say things out of anger. I need to think.

Me: I wasn't going to cheat on you. Why are you being this way? You practically let some chick dry hump you in Boston and I forgave you. All I wanted to do was hear what he had to say.

Talon: I know that was wrong and I apologized. What bothers me is that you give a fuck what that asshole has to say. What if he wants you back?

Me: He doesn't.

Talon: Seriously? Why else would he get in touch? Don't be naïve.

Me: I'm not going and I just want to forget this. I'm sorry I hurt you. You know I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose.

Talon: I just need to clear my head.

Every time he says that my stomach sinks. What does it mean? What is he thinking about? Why can't he let this go?

Me: I thought we said no more steps back?

Talon: We did. Telling me you want to go see your ex that you were in love with isn't exactly a step back. I feel like you pushed me off a cliff.

Me: I think you're taking it all wrong. I understand why you are, but I think you're misunderstanding the entire thing.

Talon: Please fucking stop. I can't do this anymore. Fuck. Please, my head hurts.

I start to cry reading his words on the screen. I don't understand why he's being so difficult with this. Was what I said so unforgivable? It's not like I did anything behind his back—I was totally honest and upfront with him. I shake my head and wipe at my eyes, not sure what to say that won't fuel his anger even more.

Talon: I have to go. We have a sound check. I'll get in touch tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

Me: Ok… have a good night. I miss you xo

He doesn't reply, and I'm completely dumbfounded. My gut tells me something else is going on here he isn't letting me in on, because this behavior is so unlike him. He hates to fight. He hates distance between us just as much as I do. I rack my brain, trying to remember everything from the past few days, attempting to come up with a clue of some sort as to what's got him so twisted up. We haven't made love in two days, which is also unusual for him. Both nights he told me his head felt funny and he felt too tired. And then he fell asleep almost immediately, hugging me. Which I love, but it's odd for him. He's also been distracted. Several times in the past month, he's spaced out during a conversation and I've had to repeat myself. Maybe there's more stuff going on with the band he doesn't want to tell me about and he's stressed out by it all.

Worried, I decide the best thing to do is give him what he keeps asking for—time to think. As hard as it is, I refrain from sending any more texts or attempting to call him.

My fingers reach up to touch the necklace hanging against my chest, remembering his words when he gave it to me on Christmas Eve. I'm always with you.

I silently pray that's still true.

Chapter 34

Asia

I'm lying in bed reading, unable to sleep, when my cell phone rings from my nightstand. I don't even care that it's almost one a.m. I'm just relieved he's finally calling me. An entire day has passed since his last text when he told me he needed to think, and it's been torture for me waiting for him to get in touch.

But when I pick up my phone, it's Asher's name flashing on the screen.

"Hello?" My insides go cold as I hold my breath, hoping Talon is using his brother's phone for whatever reason, like maybe the battery is dead in his.

"Asia, it's Ash. I'm sorry to call so late…" Shit.

"It's okay. Is everything all right?" I sit up in bed, my book falling to the floor.

"No. Talon fell off the stage tonight. We've been at the hospital, and they're running some tests, but I think you should come. I'm getting the feeling something serious is going on."

A little gasp escapes me as my heart jumps into overdrive. "Oh my God, what happened? Is he okay?"

"We're not sure. He may have blacked out. It all happened so fast. One minute he was on the edge of the stage playing, and the next, he just fell right off. He's a little banged up and he smacked his head on the floor."

"Oh God…" I jump out of bed and run to the closet, frantically pulling out random clothes and throwing them onto the bed.

"He's been kinda off the past few days. He thought he had an ear infection. If he does, then he definitely could have gotten dizzy and lost his balance. It happens."

"That's true. He's been complaining of headaches since Christmas, too."

"Right. An ambulance brought him to the ER, and I've only talked briefly to the doctor so far. I'm waiting to hear more. I just think you should be here."

"Of course."

"I checked into some flights for you. There's a 5:30 a.m. flight out of Manchester, and you'll get here a little before noon. I'll arrange for a driver to pick you up at the airport and bring you here, and I'll book a hotel room for you. I'll text you all the info when we hang up."

"Okay. Thank you so much. Have you called your parents?" Noon is so far away; that's almost twelve hours before I can actually get to see him.

"Yeah, they're in California discussing a movie deal for one of Mom's books, but they're going to try to get out here tomorrow night."

"Okay. I'm going to pack a few things, then I'll leave."

"Are you gonna be okay to get yourself to the airport?"

"Yes, definitely." I'll drive the shit out of that car to get to my husband and get on that evil plane.

"Drive safe. I'll send that info now, and I'll see you when you get here. Try not to worry."

"Thank you for all your help, Asher. Please stay with him."

I end the call and toss the phone onto the bed, my entire body trembling with fear and worry. I try to steer my thoughts over to Asher's words—if Talon has an ear infection, he may have gotten dizzy and lost his balance. But he also said he had a feeling something serious is going on, and that's the part I can't stop hearing over and over again in my head.

I pull my small, beat-up suitcase out of the closet and start piling my clothes into it, when Pixie jumps on the bed and steps into the suitcase, circling in my clothes.

Oh no! What am I going to do with her if I'm leaving?