Tear

I couldn’t help the laughter as he looked at the Swedish fish then back at me, then back at his cards.

“Fifteen fish.”

“Twenty.”

“Seventeen and not a fish more!”

I sighed. “Deal.”

Alec picked up one fish and licked it.

“Oh, no, no, no, I don’t believe that’s how the game’s played.” Without really thinking about it I plopped down next to him and put a fish in my mouth, getting it nice and sloppy, then very carefully placed it on his cheek.

Alec’s eyes darkened at the contact. I tried to look away, but I couldn’t. His eyes were so green, I felt lost in them, lost in the stupid moment.

The fish fell off of his cheek.

And just like that the spell was broken.

I instantly regretted moving to his side of the couch. His thigh was warm against mine. We reached for the next Swedish fish at the same time.

“Maybe a game isn’t the best idea?” Alec blurted.

I nodded, because for once I was in total agreement with him.

“TV?”

“Sure!” I tucked my knees on the couch and watched as he flipped on the TV.

Wonder of all wonders, Demetri’s face popped on. Entertainment News was doing a story on his current work with the underprivileged kids. Cameras flashed as he went into his hotel. His plane must have landed a few hours ago.

Guilt gnawed on me like a piranha and I could have sworn I heard Alec curse aloud. It was as if the universe was reminding us not to be complete idiots. It was just a stupid attraction, nothing more! Plus, I had this ridiculous habit of always being vulnerable around Alec, which made him turn into the hero and me the damsel, and really what girl wouldn’t be attracted to that?

Satisfied that I had yet again talked myself out of opening that secret place in my brain that stored all of the memories shared with Alec, I smiled at the TV. “He looks happy.”

“Happiest I’ve seen him in a while,” Alec said quietly.

And again with the guilt. We both sat awkwardly watching the entire report. Pictures of Demetri and Alec on tour, and then it panned to their current whereabouts in Seaside.

I was horrified to see the infamous picture of me and Alec’s almost kiss, and then immediately the story went to a few pictures of me and Demetri holding hands and the kissing outside the restaurant.

It was weird watching myself on TV. But even stranger to actually be sitting by one of the objects of my desire, knowing that I was caught in that very sick love triangle.

Alec twitched beside me. His thigh just barely grazing mine. A commercial popped on the screen but still neither of us moved.

“It’s late,” he said softly.

“I know.”

“We should go to bed.”

I opened my mouth to speak but he interrupted.

“Separately.”

“Right.” I got to my feet and waited while Alec turned off the TV as well as the rest of the lights. Once the last light downstairs was extinguished, my agony as well as blood pressure heightened.

“Alec?” I called, because I couldn’t see a thing in their house. It was pitch black and I still didn’t know where I was going. I’d never in all this time been to Demetri’s room, only Alec’s.

“I’m here.” His breath was hot on my neck, his hands slowly moved to my back and he guided me out of the living room and toward the stairs. Everywhere he touched felt like a livewire, even though I know he was only trying to be helpful. I stumbled on the final stair.

“You okay?” He chuckled.

No. I wanted to scream, No! But I didn’t. Instead I nodded mutely, forgetting that he couldn’t really see me, and waited while he walked in front of me and then grabbed my arm to tug me behind him.

We walked down to the end of the hall where his room was located, but instead of going to the left we went to the right.

“So…” Alec pushed open the door and flicked on the light. It wasn’t at all what I expected it to be. The room had muted colors of khaki and white. His bed was a large king with a navy blue duvet and a ton of fluffy pillows. The windows were wide and facing the ocean. All in all, it felt more like a hotel than a guy’s bedroom.

“Creepy, I know,” Alec said behind me. “He’s weird about keeping his room clean and clutter free, says it messes with his music if he has clutter in his life.”

“Sounds like him.” I smiled. I really did miss that boy.

“So,” Alec clapped his hands together as if he was a tour guide making and important point, “The bathroom’s right through there, and the sheets are clean. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

“Okay.”

Alec nodded and walked out of the room.

I called after him. “Alec, thanks for letting me stay and for…” I sighed. “For saying I’m important.”

“No problem.” He gave a sad smile and closed the door behind him.

I let out a sigh of relief as I slumped onto Demetri’s bed. I really wished he was there. If he was there then his stupid brother wouldn’t be distracting me like he was. Or at least I could lock myself in his room and pretend that his very attractive very unattainable brother wasn’t across the hall from me.

The problem was, now that I was alone in their house, all I really wanted to do was tip toe across the hall and climb into Alec’s bed. I mean it wasn’t that I wanted to do anything, I just hated being alone, and he knew that.