Tear

“Obviously.” His eyes flickered to my cut lip.

I looked away and closed my eyes in annoyance. He was still acting like he was extremely offended by my presence, so why did he help me when I was hurt? I looked at him from the corner of my eye. He appeared to be genuinely interested in what the teacher was saying, his concentration was intense.

I kept my gaze on him, not hearing a word the teacher said. His chin was set in a firm line as if he was clenching his teeth but didn’t even realize he was doing it. The muscles flexed in his jaw. I was captivated as I watched his skin ripple down his neck. Black hair fell over his face, his long eyelashes blinking against his high cheekbones. He was so different than Demetri. So dark, and yes, still brooding. My eyes fell to his muscled arms now tucked beneath one another making him look more cut than usual. His feet were crossed at the ankles and his legs stretched out in front of him.

I wasn’t sure how long I stared at him, but it felt like minutes when the bell rang, ushering us out of the room and into second period.

“Nat, you should probably be less obvious next time.”

“Next time?” I repeated breathlessly. Yes, it’s possible I was still thinking about his arms and the way they bulged under his too perfect T-shirt.

“Next time you check me out for an entire class period.”

I felt myself blush. “I wasn’t…”

“You were.”

I gave him a stern look.

He shrugged and grabbed my messenger bag from my arm.

“I can carry that.”

He shrugged and kept walking. “I know.”

Aggravating did not even begin to describe the guy. By the time the lunch bell rang he had successfully followed me to every class, in his defense — not that I felt like defending his behavior — he had at least two out of the three classes with me, but still. It was bordering on ridiculous.

I ignored him as I walked through the lunch line. My stomach was in knots so nothing looked appetizing. By the time I reached the end of the line my tray was still empty.

“Eat,” Alec said behind me.

I rolled my eyes so he couldn’t see me and turned around ready to do battle. “I’m not hungry.”

“You still need food.”

“Are we really going to sit here and argue?”

Alec grabbed my empty tray. “Of course not.”

I exhaled in relief, but it was short-lived as I watched him go back through the line and pile my tray high with every single option on the hot lunch list. He paid for the food and brought me the tray. I swear it was bending from the weight of food.

“Please tell me we’re sharing,” I grumbled.

Alec smirked and took a seat at a far off table, a table that my friends and I normally didn’t sit at. “Eat,” he commanded once I plopped down next to him.

I looked at my choices. Meat surprise, an apple, some sort of salad that looked more like macaroni than leafy greens and an alarming amount of French fries.

“Thanks.” I took the apple from the tray and nibbled on a fry.

“About what I said…” His voice was low, almost impossible to hear. I scooted closer, not sure I wanted to hear him defend his behavior or pity me for the rumors flying around school about Demetri’s cheating scandal.

“I was upset.”

“I know.” The fry in my finger felt soggy, I threw it onto the napkin and wiped my hands. “I was too.”

Alec grabbed my hand and held it in his lap, rubbing his thumb delicately over the tender flesh on my wrist. “Will you forgive me?”

Not what I expected. I looked back at the soggy fries and bit my lip. “Alec, there wasn’t ever anything to forgive. I was the one being insensitive.”

His grip lessened on my hand.

“But…” I turned toward him and then shied away, I hadn’t realized how close we were sitting until right then. Close enough to kiss him, for crying out loud! “You can’t keep shutting me out and keeping me in the dark like this! I mean, some days I really like you, I lo—” I stopped myself as I felt my cheeks stain crimson. “I love hanging out with you. You’re one of my best friends, and some days I feel like, I don’t know… Like you are trying to push me away. And then all this stuff with Demetri trying to strip me naked and then in the same breath, talking cryptically about being the first. I don’t know. I’m just really confused.”

Alec’s eyes flickered to my lips then back up to my eyes. “I know. It’s just that…” His voice cracked. He pulled his hand away and shook his head as he looked out the windows of the cafeteria. “The minute I tell you, is the minute I say goodbye to you forever.”

“You don’t know that!” I grabbed his hand pleading with him to trust me, just once.

“Give me time to believe that, Nat.” Alec smiled sadly and squeezed my hand. The lunch bell rang.

“Are you gonna follow me to my next class?”

Alec laughed. “Do you want me to?”

I blushed. “Kind of.”

“Then yes, I’ll follow you to class.”

“Will you stay?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Are we really doing this right now?” I glared.

Alec picked up the trays and my messenger bag. “I’ll take you, but I need to go to class too. I have a lot of learning to do.”

“Clearly.” I smirked.

As promised, he took me to Geology and went on his merry way toward his class, but not before turning around and giving me the most seductive wink in high school history. My knees went weak and suddenly I wasn’t so sad about Demetri. My heart still clenched, but part of it was because I sensed he was hurting and I didn’t know what I did to cause it or what I could do to fix it. Even though I wasn’t completely certain of our relationship status, I still loved him. He was more than just a boyfriend. Demetri was a friend, someone I wouldn’t wish to hurt in any way, though I knew I was probably doing exactly that every time I fell asleep dreaming of his brother, rather than of him.