Tears of Tess

Remorse and guilt sucked me into a pit. How could I think Q might be the one for me? He didn’t make my soul sing. He made it weep, and scream, and tear itself into pieces.

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t. You just don’t want to see.”

“See what?” I snapped.

Grabbing my barcoded wrist, he jerked me against him. His body infernoed with heat. “You are mine. I can do what I want with you. I can dress you. Fuck you. Send you away. Loan you to others. You belong to me. And you’ve finally realized it isn’t romantic, it isn’t sexy, or fun. It’s something no one should want or desire. You’re a captive.”

He shook me, his headache etching eyes with pain. “My role as your master is to debase you to the point of having no feelings, no emotion, no hopes or dreams. I tell you to f**k another man, you ask for how long. I tell you to wear something, you do not f**king chop it up in defiance. You wear it, and appreciate what I give you. You’re mine, esclave. And it isn’t a f**king happy ever after.”

He let go, pushing so I stumbled. “How does it feel to face the truth?”

I couldn’t breathe. Facing the truth terrified more than anything. In that moment, I fully believed Q would do everything he said. He would debase me to the point of being empty. Happily treating me like a shoe or a tatty suitcase.

I was nothing.

Q advanced, grimacing with pain. “Get on your knees, esclave.” He pressed a heavy hand on my shoulder.

I was too numb to kick or run. So many emotions in such a short amount of time. What the hell just happened? One moment, I wanted to hear him call me Tess, the next, I wanted him dead. I couldn’t keep up.

Q forced me to my knees. “Undo my trousers.”

I didn’t think I’d ever find numbness again, but as I fumbled with Q’s belt, the cloud of indifference swept me away. My heart raced as I undid the zipper, pulling his hard c**k free, but my mind went blank.

Q rocked on his feet, fisting my hair for balance. “Suck me. Make my headache go away by other means.”

I looked up, circling fingers around his hot girth. A non-interested thought flickered in the blankness. Either he was really brave, yelling at me then expecting me to suck him and not bite, or just incredibly stupid. I didn’t care either way, I’d obey.

I pumped once, shuffling forward on my knees to bring the tip of him to my lips. Q exhaled heavily, pushing h*ps forward.

I tongued his slit, tasting saltiness. The sense tried to shoot me back to reality—I could hold him ransom while I sucked. I could bite and cause immeasurable pain. I could barter for my freedom.

Opening wide, I deep throated him.

He groaned, tugging my hair as his ass clenched. I could bite, but I didn’t want to. Even now, my body betrayed. I trembled with lust, tinging vacancy with desire.

I withdrew, fisting him, licking.

“Oh, merde!”

I froze; Q scrambled back, holding his wet cock.

Suzette stood behind, mouth hanging open. “I’m sorry! I—eh—” Spinning around, she mumbled, “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

I rocked on my heels, keeping my head down. Q was livid, shoving himself into his trousers. He winced when the zipper came exceedingly close to sensitive skin. “C'est quoi ce bordel?” What the f**k?

She bounced, looking at the ceiling, fingers fluttering at her sides. “Je suis désolé, but there are some men here to see you, maître.”

Q breathed hard, smoothing his hair and suit, glaring at me so intensely it felt like another slap. My cheek smarted in response. “Send them away. I’m not prepared to accept guests so late.”

Suzette looked over her shoulder, relief on her face. Spinning all the way around, she looked at me with her soul bared.

Heartbeats galloped out of control. Instincts screamed into being and I wanted to block my ears. Looming palm-trees seemed to inch closer, branching with doom. I didn’t want her to speak.

“They won’t leave, Q. They have a warrant.”

He spun to face her. “Warrant?”

I slapped a hand over my mouth. My world imploded. The police. Brax. He got my message. He was alive! Brax is alive and sent someone to rescue me!

My heart bucked; I couldn’t think. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t do anything but kneel.

Hopelessness squeezed as Q turned to face me slowly. I shrivelled. The consequences of running away, once again ruined my life.

The police had come for Q. I ruined his life—just like he ruined mine.

That’s not true, and you know it. He gave you back your life. He introduced you to a new life. A better life. I forced my brain to quiet, risking a look at Suzette.

Her eyes brimmed with disappointment and overwhelming sadness. I folded closer to the floor, hating betraying her.

She broke eye contact, looking at Q. “The police believe you’re holding a girl called Tess Snow,” Suzette whispered, voice breaking.

She took two angry steps toward me, but Q held up his arm, barricading. “How could you? You—you…” She trailed off, mouth twisting with grief. “We all trusted you.”

My life shattered for the fourth and final time.

Q froze, all trace of pain and emotion, gone. “That’s your name? Tess?”

My body fissured with longing. He spoke my name. Finally, after almost two months of esclave.

It rolled off his tongue in one beautiful French twist; I wanted his tongue on me. I wanted to forget everything—to pretend he never said such horrid things or that I brought his life and business to ruin. I wanted to give him my heart and forget.

“Tess…” Q whispered, before baring his teeth. Shadows cloaked him and the look of betrayal flayed more than any whip. “You called the police.” His shoulders sagged, and the pain he hid smothered again.

Suzette leaned into him; he welcomed her, tugging her close.

My body rebelled as jealousy glowed bright and green. How dare he find solace in his maid. I was his slave. Find solace with me—even though I’m the crux of your ruin!

He nodded once. “So be it.”

Chapter 19

*Goldfinch*

Q and Suzette left.

Without another glance or word, Q turned his back and strode out of my life.

My legs hurt from kneeling, but it was nothing compared to the paralyzing heartbreak.

I should be happy. Brax was alive! But I was dead to my master and didn’t know what my future held. The police would arrest him. They’d take me back to Australia, and return me to a half-life—a false life—a life I no longer wanted.