I blink and decide to fall back in the sand. The urge to lay back and look at the sky overwhelms me. Things like the sky and the sea calm me. They remind me how small I am. Maybe that makes other people feel lost, but it makes me feel like maybe my problems aren’t so large, like maybe I can really survive this life and all the things that have happened to me. If a grain of sand can stand to be pounded by the sea, then I can take the beating I’ve been handed.
Sucking in a deep breath, I smile and fall back onto the sand. When I look up, I expect to see the colors of the sunrise painted across the sky, but I don’t. I see a man’s upside-down face, looking at me. I screech and push up on my elbows, crab-walking away from him a few paces, until my brain registers that he isn’t here to kill me—that I know him.
“What the hell, Ferro?” I grab my heart through my sweatshirt. I can’t breathe. I don’t look up at him. There’s something about his eyes that will make me believe whatever he has to say. I can’t be here, not with him. Not now.
Sean looks down at me. I can feel his gaze on my cheek. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to startle you. I was—”
“Well, what the hell were you doing, standing that close if you didn’t mean to startle me? I mean—fuck—could you be any creepier? Damn, Sean.” I stand up and brush the sand off my shirt and my jeans. I walk away from Sean before he answers. I don’t want to hear it.
Sean’s behind me, following me. “Avery, wait. I wanted to tell you—”
But I don’t stop. I’ll never stop—not for him—not ever again. Sean’s mouth is filled with lies. His voice makes deceit sound like music. If I stop, if I look at him, I’m screwed. I’ll cave in and hear Sean out and I don’t want to. There’s nothing he can say that will fix what he’s done. He flambéed any chance we had for anything. I walk faster, but my feet just sink into the sand. It fills my sneakers, but I don’t stop.
“Avery!” Sean calls behind me. “I need to give this to you. Wait a second.”
I hear him running up behind me. As I step onto the boardwalk and off the sand, Sean catches up with me. He manages to grab my elbow. I whirl around, heart pounding. Everything he does puts me on edge. Sean can’t speak without my pulse roaring in my ears. My brain registers the touch as pain. My arm sears like he’s burned me. I yank it back, hard, and then swing. I throw my shoulder into the punch, not holding back.
Shock flashes across Sean’s beautiful features swiftly. My fist is on a collision course with his face. At the last second, Sean steps to the side. My punch lands on his shoulder. He grabs my wrist and holds it tight. Sean looks down at me like I’ve lost my mind. “What are you doing?”
I try to pull away from him, but he doesn’t release me. Every inch of my body is shaking with rage. It courses through my veins and I feel like I’m going to explode. Still, I don’t look at his eyes. He’s a goddamn snake, a viper. He’ll steal my soul and devour me.
I scream in his face without looking higher than his chin. “What am I doing? What are you doing? This is my place, not yours! You have no fucking right to—”
“To what?” He yanks my wrist and pulls me closer, making my body smack into his. The scent of his cologne hits me hard. Vivid memories of his body intertwined with mine flash through my mind. “To what, Avery?” His voice makes me want to cry. The way he talks to me—it sounds like nothing’s happened—that he still regards me exactly the same way he did before, and it kills me. It kills me because that means that I meant nothing to him, not before and not now.
I twist my hand out of his grip and pull away. I feel reach toward my shoulder and evade his hand so he can’t touch me. “To nothing! Nothing… Just leave me alone.” My voice no longer shakes. My neck feels tight like it might turn to stone. I lock my jaw to keep from speaking. I hasten my pace and walk away from him. I hear Sean’s expensive shoes following me down the boardwalk. I don’t look back. I just walk faster.
“I have something for you.” Sean says it like he’s going to hand me the piggy kite, like nothing went badly between us. I don’t turn back. I don’t look over my shoulder when I no longer hear his footfalls inching closer and closer.
I’ll never go back to him. He can go to hell.
I manage to start my car and leave without speaking to him. Sean doesn’t follow me. I don’t see his car. He lets me leave. I don’t understand why he was here, why he followed me. I can barely think, so I don’t think at all. I don’t know why Sean was here, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing he does matters anymore.
CHAPTER 7
The rest of the week is more of the same—more sleepless nights, more tension that won’t ease out of my muscles, more distance from my friends. Mel watches me closely. It makes me feel brittle, like I’ll lose it if she says something to me, so I avoid her for a few days. Marty is even worse. Ever since he broke that test tube in lab, he’s become more distant. I wish I knew what I did that made him like this, but I won’t ask. I know he won’t tell me.
Miss Black called me midweek and told me that I would be an escort this weekend, to show up at her place on Friday night at 6:00pm and she’ll go over the details. It’s an hour before our meeting. I’m trying to pin up my hair into a loose up-do. I hope it looks sexy and not sloppy. There’s a fine line with hairstyles and I’m never really sure which side of the line I’m on.
I slip into my only dress and heels and head for my car. On the way outside, I see Marty walking toward me in the parking lot. His eyes sweep over me and he grins. “Hey, hooker. Got a hot date?”
I smirk in response. “Maybe. And calling me ‘hooker’ is really weird.”
“Yeah,” Marty replies, looking at me from under his lashes like he’s a big kid. He’s all smiles again. It’s nice. “I’d rather call you tramp anyway.”
I lightly punch his arm and lean into him. I’m surprised when he pulls me in for a bear hug. Crumpling my dress, Marty holds me so tightly that I can’t breathe. Whatever made him upset with me seems to be gone. Thank God. I need him. I had no idea how much support he gave me until he was gone. Marty spins me around once and sets me down.
Laughing, I smack his chest. “You ass! You wrinkled my dress. And, if you’re going to call me by my nickname, at least get it right. I’m Tramperella. See,” I say pointing at my silvery shoes, “glass slippers.”
Marty laughs, but there’s an oddness to it, like he won’t ever call me that. His eyes dart away. “Better get going, right? It’s not like you can skip it tonight, is it?”
I shake my head. “No. I have to fix this. I’ll see you later. It shouldn’t be all night.” Marty perks up at that. He smiles, says he’ll wait up for me and heads into the dorm to look for Mel. For some reason, she’s home tonight. Maybe she has a stash of cash and only works when she runs out. I wish I could plan ahead like that. I kind of suck at planning. Obviously.
I arrive at Miss Black’s and take the elevator up to her floor. When I step out, Gabe is standing there. I nearly walk straight into him. “Oh,” I say, startled, and step back. “Is Miss Black here?”
The large man nods and says nothing, gesturing for me to go around him. I walk around him slowly and wonder what’s going on. As I walk back toward Miss Black’s office, I hear her heels clicking on the floor, coming toward me.
“There you are. You’re late.” Miss Black glances up at me and takes in my outfit. She looks like she’s going to have a coronary. “Avery, we’ve discussed this. You cannot wear the same outfit day after day.”
I glance at my dress. “Why not? This is a different client and the dress is clean. I don’t smell bad, do I?” My stomach flips as I consider sniffing my armpits. I stop myself and wait for her answer, but Miss Black doesn’t dignify me with a response. Instead, she walks swiftly to the wardrobe she has hanging in her office.
When I walk into her office, Miss Black is reaching into the back of her closet. She pulls out a hanger with a dark red dress. It’s sleek and long, and from the looks of it, way too small for me. “Wear this. And as soon as you work off this debt, you have to purchase your own attire. Is that clear?”
I nod and take the dress. I strip down to my undies and bra before trying to slip into the dress. Black is behind her desk, looking for something. When she glances up at me, she sighs like I’m an idiot. “Lose the bra. It has a built in. Since the client didn’t purchase your company for the entire night, the dress code differs.”
The red gown is around my hips. I’m trying to shimmy it up as she speaks, but it won’t go over my curves. The zipper bites into my thigh. Miss Black stares at me with an expression on her face that makes me nervous. “It doesn’t seem to fit.” I step out of the dress and look down at the fabric in my hands
She doesn’t answer. Miss Black steps around her desk, and takes the dress from my hands. She snaps, “Bra off. Now.” She’s practically tapping her foot. I have no idea what she’s doing. That dress won’t fit me. My hips are too wide. I don’t have the guts to refuse, and I need to go on this date, so I yank off my bra and drop it on the chair next to me.
“Arms over your head,” she says and I pull my hands together on top of my head like I’m going to jump off a diving board. Miss Black manages to slip the gown over my head without messing up my hair. The buttery fabric falls into place, clinging to my curves. “Turn,” she snaps. I turn around and Miss Black inches up the invisible zipper on the side of the gown. I can barely breathe, it’s so tight.
“There,” Miss Black says when the dress is on. “Go look in the mirror behind the door.”
I turn from her, walk to the office door, and close it. There’s a full length mirror for me to see my entire figure in this dress. When I look at the glass, I can’t believe it. I look older, more mature, with more curves than I ever dreamed possible. The dress makes my waist look tiny, while making my boobs look ginormous. Even my hips look perfect in this dress. I’m a bombshell, all feminine curves with each and every one on display.