“Jason.” I gave him a calm smile. “Stay cool, it’s totally fine, I just don’t want to pull it out and have you bleed all over your nice suit.”

“Lies!” he yelled. “I’m dying!”

“You’re not dying!” I yelled right back and got down on my knees. “Just let me have a look, okay?”

“What’s all the racket up here?” Mrs. Caro appeared at the top of the stairs, followed by Mr. Caro, Reid, Grandma, and Jenna.

“Jayne tried to kill Jason!” Milo shouted.

“Oh, dear Lord,” I grumbled. “Nobody tried to kill anybody!”

At that point Max stirred across Jayne’s chest, lifting his head, only to get slapped so hard it looked like he passed out again. This time his lips were pressed against her skin.

“Get him off!” she shrieked.

Jason groaned.

Stealing the entire family’s attention.

“Son, you’re bleeding!” Mr. Caro got down on his knees next to me. “How the hell did you get a ski pole in your arm?”

“Long story,” he grumbled. “But it starts with Milo and ends with her too.”

All eyes turned to her.

“What?” She threw her hands into the air. “It wasn’t my fault! If Jayne would have just agreed to leave Jason alone then it wouldn’t have happened!”

“Never!” Jayne shouted from the floor. “I’m gonna be your sister-in-law, bitch! Better get used to it!”

Milo’s mouth snapped shut.

Mrs. Caro rose to her full height and stomped over to Jayne. “Listen here, you social-climbing whore! I’ve sat back calmly while you ruined my son’s life. I’ve said nothing—even when you disrespected me and my family repeatedly. But I draw the line now!”

“Oh, wow, you’re drawing lines now. Should I be afraid?”

“I doubt anything scares you—and if it does, you just spread your legs and close your eyes!” Mrs. Caro screamed at the top of her lungs.

“Marcy!” Mr. Caro scolded.

Grandma burst out laughing.

“Oh, don’t worry.” Jayne’s eyes narrowed. “I’ll remember to do that. After all your son has been very, very, very accommodating.”

Everyone started yelling at once.

And then a gunshot rang out. Causing part of the ceiling to crumble next to Jason’s head.

“All right.” Grandma held a small pistol in the air. “Everyone cease arguing, I’m putting a stop to this sham.”

“Who gave her a gun?” Max said in a groggy voice. “Seriously? Who gave Grandma a gun?”

“Keep it in my purse.” Grandma shrugged. “In case those thugs decide to steal me in the parking lot.” At that point her wig slid off onto the floor, showing us a few solitary gray tufts. Hey, look at that, she still had a few strings of hair! Go Grandma!

“I don’t think you have to worry about being stolen,” Milo muttered under her breath.

“There will be no wedding,” Grandma sniffed. “You do not have my blessing.”

“You can’t control me!” Jayne shouted. “And for the love of God, get off of me, Max!”

“No!” He stayed pinned against her. “Not until you admit it!”

“Admit what?”

“You aren’t pregnant!”

“Fine!” Jayne’s eyes went wide with anger. “I’m not pregnant! It doesn’t change a damn thing! I’m the best he’s ever going to get and—”

Milo charged toward Jayne, fist flying. I intercepted her just in time . . . for Mrs. Caro to finish what her daughter had started.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

MILO

“I’m fine! I promise!” Mom held her swollen hand in her lap, a satisfied grin flashing across her face. “Got her good, didn’t I?”

Wrong thing to say, as Jayne chose that moment to make her way into the kitchen and send Mom a seething glare.

Everything fell silent.

Jason had broken up with her in the attic. Of course, as with all things Caro, that was after Mom punched her in the face, before Max passed out for a third time, and before Reid wrestled Grandma to the floor. Luckily Reid was able to scoot the gun away from her greedy little hands before she made a reach for it again.

“I guess there’s nothing left to say.” Jayne sniffled, reaching for her purse.

Jason’s eye narrowed as he leaned back in the chair. Colton was busy wrapping up the gaping wound the ski pole had left.

“I would have made you happy,” she defended, her eyes blinking away tears.

“You would have put him in an early grave,” Grandma piped up.

I’d thought she was sleeping.

Her eyes were still closed.

Curious, I stared as she continued to talk without opening them. “You would have stolen that boy’s joy and made him miserable every day of his life—and I know misery, that husband of mine was no walk in the park.”

I coughed. “He was blind.”

“He was weak!” Grandma slammed her hand against the table.

I winced, half expecting her to dig into her purse for her gun. Instead Reid sent me a reassuring look and patted the pocket of his suit.

I wasn’t sure if I was relieved he’d stolen Grandma’s gun, or concerned, especially considering the effects of his medicine were starting to wear off, and every few seconds he burst out laughing and then just stared at the ceiling.