The Consequence of Revenge

“Please.” I waved him off. “You had an attack one time.”

Reid’s eyes narrowed. “I was in the hospital a week.”

“On account that you ate the whole bag of sugar-free chocolate. Reid, you’re lucky they were able to even pump your stomach.” Sugar-free chocolate also made him a bit crazy; he had kicked two nurses in the process of the stomach pumping.

Another gurgle emerged from Reid, though the jury was out as to which end of his body was the one doing the talking.

“Guys, I need to go to the hospital.”

Rolling my eyes, I looked at the rest of the group. “We should probably take him to be safe.”

“I can’t drive.” Colton held up his hands. “Tequilasha.”

“You met a girl named Tequilasha?” Milo yelled, and smacked him on the back of the head.

“No. He means tequila.” Jason rolled his eyes. “Geez, Milo, you’ve been here the whole time.”

“Can we discuss”—Reid groaned and held on to me for support—“this in the car? On the way to the hospital? Please?”

“I’ll drive.” I snatched the keys from Colt as we all walked out to the parking lot and piled into the car.

“Reid, get on top.”

“Top?” Sweat started pouring down his face. “On top of what?”

“The car.” I pointed. “Hospital’s only like two miles away. Just pretend you’re a dog and let your tongue hang out.”

“Nothing will be hanging out!” Reid shouted. “Why are we even discussing this? I need a doctor!”

“And I need to not smell whatever’s cooking inside of that stove of yours. Ten bucks says it’s burning and churning.”

Reid wiped his face with his hands. “I’m not getting on the car.”

“Dude, just pretend you’re car surfing.”

“Guys!” Milo shivered. “Just get in and stop arguing. You all bicker more than girls.”

“Fine.” I held up my hands in innocence. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you guys.”

“I can control my body,” Reid muttered under his breath as he got in the passenger side and put on his seat belt.

“We all in?” I checked the mirrors, adjusted my seat, and looked at my teeth in the mirror.

“For the love of God, Max! Just drive!” Reid shouted, his voice cracking at the end.

Grinning, I started the car and backed out of the parking lot.

Things were going great. Jason hadn’t slammed his hand in the car door or anything, Milo wasn’t punching him, Colt wasn’t puking, and Reid seemed to be—

“Oh, God.” Reid hunched over and then a sound I’d never heard another human being attempt, let alone actually make, erupted from his lips. Watching Reid was like watching something on the Discovery Channel.

“Hey, uh, you okay?” I reached out and patted his back.

“Don’t!” Reid started rocking back and forth. “Don’t touch me. Makes. It. Worse.”

So naturally I kept rubbing his back.

“I can’t—” Reid’s teeth started chattering as another sound came from him, only it wasn’t from his mouth.

“Was that?” Milo leaned forward and then started gagging. “Let me out, let me out!”

Reid shouted, “Guys, I think I have an alien inside of me, I think I’m, I think I’m possessed . . .”

“What’s that smell?” Jason sniffed. “It’s like . . .”

“Rotten bear,” I finished, trying to lean as far away from Reid as possible. Finally I opened my window and sucked in some fresh air. “Almost there, buddy, hold tight.”

“I can’t. Hold. On.” Reid’s chest was heaving. “I’m not that strong, man. I’ve never been the strong one. You, you’re the strong one.”

“You’re not dying!” I shouted. “Not on my watch!”

“Maybe.” Reid winced. “Maybe it’s better this way.” His head slammed back against the seat as he let out a scream that sounded like he was being split in two by Thor’s hammer. “Oh, sweet mother of God!” Reid reached for the door handle. “I’m jumping! I’m going to jump!”

“Reid, no!” Colt reached around and held him against the seat. “We’re almost to the hospital. Think of something happy, like go to another place.”

“But not the bathroom,” I interjected. “Don’t go there in your mind because we don’t want it to somehow translate into reality.”

“I see a light.” Reid held out his hand. “Guys, I’m combusting from the inside out . . . give my iPhone to Jenna . . .”

“Jenna?” we all yelled in unison.

“Such pretty legs.”

“Holy shit!”

“I wish! It’s not holy!” Reid wailed. “It’s evil! It’s so, so evil!”

“You’ve been seeing Jenna?” Jason pushed his way to the middle console and punched Reid in the arm, which resulted in more toxic gas being released into the atmosphere, making everyone in the car start to gag.

“So?” Reid’s teeth were chattering. “If she could only see me now.”

“Jason!” Colt yelled. “Put your phone away! You are not sending pictures of Reid to Jenna!”

“Damn it! Jenna’s mine! Do you realize how many classes I’ve been to?