The Consequence of Revenge

“Saw that one coming a mile away.”

I smirked and just . . . stared at her. She was so pretty, and I wanted nothing more than to sit across from her until . . . well, until either I fell asleep or it was so dark I could only see the outline of her lips and even then, yeah, I’d probably still fight so damn hard to keep staring.

“Stop.” She blushed and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Go mingle.”

“Fine.” I sighed heavily. “But know that when I mingle the only single girl I’ll be thinking about is you, Little B.” Before she could pull away I grabbed her hand and kissed it, then walked off in the direction of doom.

“Max!” Grumpy shouted. It was always a toss-up whether she was yelling at me or yelling for me. Let’s just say she was a yeller, and leave it at that.

“Hey.” I forced a smile.

She had Jason’s hand in a viselike grip and he was giving me the “help me” eyes—also known as the eyes that show when a man’s worried about the ability of a woman to hold on so tight to his person that he’s afraid if she ever gets close enough to other parts of him they’ll suffer such an extreme bout of blood loss that they’ll fall off.

“So Jason here was saying he’d really like to see us go on a date and I agree.” She licked her lower lip. “I really think it would be fun if you picked me, right, Jason?” She squeezed harder; swear I heard something pop in his hand.

Jason let out a little whimper.

“Dude, you okay?” I put my hand on his shoulder.

He nodded.

“Of course he’s okay!” Grumpy laughed in her usual terrifying way, where she threw back her head and forced the laugh out of her mouth so loudly it sounded as if she were birthing a chicken in a cow-shaped suit. You know, because it sounded like a chicken, but with the way her face was strained no chance in hell was it any smaller than a cow.

“So . . .” I took a step back and brought my hands in front of me to protect all parts not solid at that moment. “Jason, I take it this is your choice?”

“Ah, ah!” Rex came up behind me and slapped my back so hard that I almost turned around and decked him in his orange face. One day he was going to get his and I was going to smile while I hovered over his Cheetos-stained body, feel me? “No announcing until the end of the night.”

“Aw.” Grumpy’s shoulders slumped. Her grip on Jason, however, was still as strong as ever. Poor guy was going to lose a thumb. I almost felt bad for him, but then again, he was getting his just reward.

“I’ll just . . . go talk to . . .” I pointed behind me, which meant I was actually pointing at the ocean, so yeah, I was going to talk to nobody, but I didn’t want to stay. I rushed off in the direction of Milo, who was talking to Minion. Ah, lovely. Minion wasn’t wearing her usual overalls but a cute little black dress. Aw, she put on a dress for me. What a nice girl! At least she would be seminormal and—

“I have dreams of eating him,” Minion whispered in a hushed voice. “My psychiatrist says I fantasize about eating things because I feel powerless in my own life and to consume another person’s soul is like owning them, you know? So if I could eat him, then I could understand him.”

Please let the him be the goat.

“Oh.” Milo nodded. “That’s, yeah, that makes sense.”

“Girls,” I croaked, wishing I hadn’t approached.

“Max!” Minion yelled. “You look so great tonight. I like your hair. I’ve always liked brown hair, you know, because mine’s brown too. And I hope you like my dress. I picked it out just for you. I hope when you choose me that you realize what a catch you’re getting. Not only was I an Olympic gymnast, but I’m in excellent shape for any sort of . . . activities you may have in mind.”

“Olympics,” I repeated. “So you’re in retirement, then?” Wasn’t touching the whole “activities” comment with a ten-foot pole, no matter how much fun it was to poke the bear. It always woke up and attacked.

“Well—” Her brow furrowed. “Apparently it’s frowned upon to trip a girl when she’s getting ready for her floor routine. Honest mistake.”

“Right.” That wasn’t as bad as I’d assumed.

“I may have also . . . caused an entire team to get food poisoning.” She shrugged.

“Awesome.”

Milo’s eyes widened a fraction of an inch in my direction. “Um, thanks for the chat, I’ll be right back.”

She grabbed my arm and led me away from the group. “She’s crazy.”

I nodded. “So crazy that I’m pretty sure the only reason she ended up on the show is because the producers probably needed some entertainment. Last night she ate a cricket.”

“No!” Milo gasped.

“And she swallowed.”

“Max.” Giggling, Milo wrapped her arms around me and hugged. I missed her hugs, how stupid was that? It had always been her and me for the past four years, and now it was just . . . me.

“You doin’ okay?” she whispered, still holding on tight.

“Define okay?” I sighed and closed my eyes, feeling at peace for the first time in a few days.

“Max.” Milo pulled back and looked into my eyes. “Are you okay with this whole process? I feel like I owe you an apology. When Jason suggested you do the show I thought he was kidding and then you started acting so strange. You seemed so lost after graduation, almost like you didn’t know what to do with yourself anymore.”