‘You knew I was here.’
Gamache wasn’t crumbling before this wretched display.
‘And I was looking for you, sir. I heard something. Voices, and I knew you wouldn’t be talking to anyone so I thought maybe there was someone else. Maybe the person who broke the police tape. Maybe you needed help. But,’ Lemieux hung his head and shook it, ‘there’s no excuse. I could have killed you. Do you want my gun?’
‘I want the truth. Don’t lie to me, son.’
‘I’m not lying, sir, really. I know it sounds pathetic, but I just got scared.’
And still Gamache was silent. Was this not going to work, Lemieux wondered?
‘Oh, God. I’m a total screw-up. First the ephedra thing and now this.’
‘It was a mistake,’ said Gamache, his voice still hard but not as hard as before.
He’d won. What had Brébeuf said? ‘Everyone loves a sinner, but none more than Gamache. He believes he can save the drowning. Your job is to drown.’
And so he had. He’d purposely left the ephedra clue up on Gabri’s computer, to be caught and forgiven, and now he’d been caught again. Drawing his gun had been stupid, but he’d managed to turn a mistake into an advantage. And Gamache, pathetic, weak Gamache, was actually forgiving him for drawing his gun. That was Gamache’s drug of choice, his weakness. He loved to forgive.
‘Did you find anything, sir?’
‘Nothing. This house isn’t ready to give up its secrets.’
‘Secrets? The house has secrets?’
‘Houses are like people, Agent Lemieux. They have secrets. I’ll tell you something I’ve learned.’
Armand Gamache dropped his voice so that Agent Lemieux had to strain to hear.
‘Do you know what makes us sick, Agent Lemieux?’
Lemieux shook his head. Then out of the darkness and stillness he heard the answer.
‘It’s our secrets that make us sick.’
Behind him, a small creak broke the silence.
THIRTY
‘What happened then?’ asked Lacoste. They were on their way back to the Incident Room. Once out of the canopy of trees they could see the storm cloud rising. It now blocked a quarter of the sky. Its progress was slow, but determined.