"He wasn't that mad," I said evasively, eyes on the road.

"He seemed pretty mad to me," said Angeline. "I thought he was going to jump up and attack Dimitri."

Eddie scoffed. "I don't think it was going to quite reach that point."

"I dunno," she mused. "I think he was ready to take on anyone who messed with you, Sydney."

I continued staring ahead, refusing to look at any of them. The whole encounter had left me feeling confused. Why had Adrian protected me? "I offered to do him a favor next weekend," I said. "I think he feels like he owes me."

Jill, sitting beside me in the passenger seat, had been quiet thus far. With the bond, she might know the answer. "No," she said, a puzzled note in her voice. "He would have done it for you regardless."

Chapter 7

I SPENT MOST OF THE NEXT DAY wrestling with my refusal to help Sonya, ruminating over the decision as I went from class to class. There was a part of me that felt bad about not giving blood for the experiments. After all, I knew what they were doing was useful. If there was a way to protect Moroi from becoming Strigoi, then that could theoretically be applied to humans too. That could revolutionize the way the Alchemists operated. People like that creepy guy Liam being held at the bunker would no longer be a threat. He could be "sterilized" and released, with no fear of him falling prey to the corruption of Strigoi. I knew also that Sonya and the others were running into walls with their research. They couldn't find any reason for what had made Lee impervious to turning Strigoi.

At the same time, despite the worthiness of the cause, I still felt staunchly opposed to giving up my own blood. I really was afraid that doing so would subject me to more and more experiments.

And I just couldn't face that. There was nothing special about me. I hadn't undergone a massive transformation via spirit. Lee and I hadn't had anything in common. I was the same as any other human, any other Alchemist. I just apparently had bad tasting blood, which was fine by me.

"Tell me about the charm spell," Ms. Terwilliger said one afternoon. It was a few days after Clarence's, and I was still mulling over those events even while ostensibly doing work in her independent study.

I looked up from the book in front of me. "Which variant? The charisma one or the meta one?"

She was sitting at her desk and smiled at me. "For someone so against all of this, you certainly learn well. The meta one."

That had been a recent spell I'd had to learn. It was fresh in my mind, but I made sure to sigh heavily and let her know in a passive aggressive way how inconvenient this was for me.

"It allows the caster to have short-term control of someone. The caster has to create a physical amulet that he or she wears..." I frowned as I considered that part of the spell. "And then recite a short incantation on the person being controlled." Ms. Terwilliger pushed her glasses up her nose. "Why the hesitation?" She noticed every slip. I didn't want to engage in this, but she was my teacher, and this was part of my assignment so long as I was stuck in this miserable session. "It doesn't make sense. Well, none of it makes sense, of course. But logically, I'd think you need something tangible to use on the vict - subject. Maybe they'd have to wear an amulet. Or drink something. It's hard for me to believe the caster is the only one who needs enhancement. I feel like they would need to connect with the subject."

"You touched on the key word," she said. "'Enhancement.' The amulet enhances the spell caster's will, as does the incantation. If that's been done correctly - and the caster is advanced and strong enough - that'll push the power of command on to the subject. Perhaps it doesn't seem tangible, but the mind is a powerful tool."

"Power of command," I muttered. Without thinking about it, I made the Alchemist sign against evil. "That doesn't seem right."

"Is it any different from the kind of compulsion your vampire friends do?" I froze. Ms. Terwilliger had long since admitted to knowing about the world of Moroi and Strigoi, but it was still a topic I avoided with her. My tattoo's magic wouldn't stop me from discussing the vampire world with those who knew about it, but I didn't want to accidentally reveal any details about my specific mission with Jill. Nonetheless, her words were startling.

This spell was very much like compulsion, very much like what I'd seen Sonya do to soothe Clarence. Vampires could simply wield it unaided. This spell required a physical component, but Ms. Terwilliger had told me that was normal for humans. She said magic was inborn for Moroi but that we had to wrest it from the world. To me, that just seemed like more reason why humans had no business dabbling in such affairs.

"What they do isn't right either," I said, in a rare acknowledgment of the Moroi with her. I didn't like that the abilities I found so twisted and wrong were allegedly within human reach too. "No one should have that kind of power over another." Her lips quirked. "You're very haughty about something you have no experience with."

"You don't always need experience. I've never killed anyone, but I know murder is wrong."

"Don't discount these spells. They could be a useful defense," she said with a shrug.

"Perhaps it depends on who's using it - much like a gun or other weapon." I grimaced. "I don't really like guns either."

"Then you may find magical means to be a better option." She made a small, graceful motion with her hands, and a clay pot on the windowsill suddenly exploded. Sharp fragments fell to the floor. I jumped out of my desk and backed up a few feet. Was that something she'd been able to do this whole time? It had seemed effortless. What kind of damage could she do if she really tried? She smiled. "See? Very efficient." Efficient and simple, as easy as a vampire wielding elemental magic with a thought. After all the painstaking spells I'd seen in these books, I was stunned to see such "easy" magic. It kicked what Ms. Terwilliger had been advocating up to a whole new - and dangerous - level.

My whole body tensed as I waited for some other horrific act, but judging from the serene look on her face, that was the only show of power she had in mind - for now. Feeling a little foolish at my reaction, I sat back down.

I took a deep breath and chose my words carefully, keeping my anger - and fear - pushed down. It wouldn't do to have an outburst in front of a teacher. "Ma'am, why do you keep doing this?"

Ms. Terwilliger tilted her head like a bird. "Doing what, dear?"

"This." I jabbed the book in front of me. "Why do you keep making me work on this against my will? I hate this, and you know it. I don't want anything to do with it! Why do you want me to learn it at all? What do you get out of it? Is there some witch club where you get a finder's fee if you bring in a new recruit?"