The Golden Lily

"Leave her out of it," Adrian told his father. "Don't try to manipulate her into proving your point."

"I hardly need to manipulate anyone into proving my point," said Nathan. "I think it's made."

"Lunch will be fine," I blurted out, fully aware that this altercation between father and son really had nothing to do with my eating habits. "I need to try more things anyway."

"Don't give in to him, Sydney," warned Adrian. "That's how he gets away with walking all over people - especially women. He's done it to my mom for years." The bartender silently appeared and replaced the empty martini glass with a full one.

"Please," said Nathan, with a heavy sigh. "Let's leave your mother out of this."

"Should be easy enough," said Adrian. I could see lines of tension in his face. His mother was a sensitive topic. "Seeing as you always do. I've been trying to get an answer out of you for weeks on how she's doing! Hell, I've just been trying to figure out where she's even at. Is that so hard for you to give up? She can't be in maximum security. They must let her get letters."

"It's better that you don't have contact with her while she's incarcerated," said Nathan.

Even I was amazed at how coldly he spoke about his wife.

Adrian sneered and took a sip of his new martini. "There we are again: you knowing what's best for everyone. You know, I'd really, really like to think you're keeping this avoidance attitude with her because it hurts too much. I know that if the woman I loved was locked away, I'd be doing everything in my power to reach her. For you? Maybe it's too hard. Maybe the only way you can cope without her is to block her out - and by keeping me away too. I could almost understand that."

"Adrian - " began Nathan.

"But that's not it, is it? You don't want me to have contact - and you probably aren't having contact - because you're embarrassed." Adrian was really getting worked up now. "You want to distance us and pretend what she did doesn't exist. You want to pretend that she doesn't exist. She's ruined the family reputation."

Nathan fixed his son with a steely look. "Considering your own reputation, I'd think you would see the wisdom in not associating with someone who has done what she's done."

"What, screw up?" Adrian demanded. "We all screw up. Everyone makes mistakes. That's what she did. It was bad judgment, that's all. You don't cut off the people you love for mistakes like that."

"She did it because of you," said Nathan. His tone left no question about what he thought of that decision. "Because you couldn't leave well enough alone with that dhampir girl. You had to flaunt your relationship with her, nearly getting yourself in as much trouble as her in your aunt's murder. That's why your mother did what she did - to protect you. Because of your irresponsibility, she's in prison now. All of this is your fault." Adrian went pale - more so than usual - and looked too shocked to even attempt any response.

He picked up his martini again, and I was almost certain I could see his hands shaking.

It was right around then that two waiters from the upstairs restaurant showed up with our food. We stared in silence as they arranged our place settings and artfully laid out the platters of food. Looking at all that food made me nauseous, and it had nothing to do with the oill or salt content.

"Mr. Ivashkov," I began, despite every reasonable voice in my head screaming at me to shut up. "It's unfair to blame Adrian for her choices, especially when he didn't even realize what she was doing. I know he would do anything for her. If he'd been able to stop this - or take her place - he would have."

"You're sure of that, huh?" Nathan was piling his plate with food and seemed quite excited about it. Neither Adrian nor I had an appetite. "Well, Miss Sage, I'm sorry to shatter your illusions, but it seems you - like so many other young women - have been fooled by my son's fast-talking ways. I can assure you, he has never done anything that didn't serve his own interests first. He has no initiative, no ambition, no follow-through. From a very early age, he was constantly breaking rules, never listening to what others had to say if it didn't suit what he wanted. I'm not really surprised his college attempts have failed - and I assure you, this one will too - because he barely made it out of high school. It wasn't even about the drinking, the girls, and the stunts he pulled... he just didn't care. He ignored his work. It was only through our influence and checkbook that he managed to graduate. Since then, it's been a constant downward spiral."

Adrian looked like he'd been slapped. I wanted to reach out and comfort him, but even I was still in shock from Nathan's words. Adrian clearly was too. It was one thing to go on and on about how you thought your father was disappointed in you. It was an entirely different thing to hear your father explain it in excruciating detail. I knew because I had been in both situations.

"Honestly, I don't even mind the drinking so much, so long as it knocks him out and keeps him quiet," continued Nathan, through a mouth full of goat cheese. "You think his mother suffers now? I assure you, she's far better off. She was up countless nights, crying over whatever trouble he'd gotten himself into. Keeping him away from her now isn't about me or him. It's for her. At least now, she doesn't have to hear about his latest antics or worry about him. Ignorance is bliss. She's in a better place not having contact with him, and I intend to keep it that way." He offered the scallops to me, as though he hadn't just delivered a huge chastisement without taking a breath. "You really should try this. Protein's good for you, you know."

I shook my head, unable to find words.

Adrian took a deep breath. "Really, Dad? I come all the way here to see you, to ask you to give me some way to contact her... and this is all I get? That she's better off not talking to me?" Looking at him, I had a feeling he was working very hard to stay calm and reasonable.

Breaking into snarky Adrian retorts wouldn't win him any ground, and he knew it.

Nathan looked startled. "Is that the only reason you came here?" It was clear from his tone that he thought it was a foolish reason.

Adrian bit his lip, probably again to hold back his true feelings. I was impressed at his control.

"I also thought... well, that maybe you'd want to hear how I was doing. I thought you might be glad to know I was doing something useful." I gasped.

For a moment, his father simply stared. Then, his confusion melted into one of those awkward laughs. "Ah. You're joking. I was puzzled for a moment."