The Hammer of Thor

The video went dark. It did not show Alex arguing with Sam, punching her in the eye, or causing chaos when she finally reached Valhalla. Maybe Sam’s camera ran out of batteries. Or maybe Sam intentionally ended the video there to make Alex look like more of a hero.

The feast hall was quiet except for the crackle of tiki torches. Then the einherjar burst into applause.

The thanes rose to their feet. Jim Bowie wiped a tear from his eye. Ernie Pyle blew his nose. Even Helgi, who had looked so angry a few minutes ago, openly wept as he clapped for Alex Fierro.

Samirah looked around, clearly stunned by the reaction.

Alex might as well have been a statue. Her eyes stayed fixed on the dark place where the video screen had been, as if she could make her death rewind by sheer force of will.

Once the ovation quieted, Helgi raised his goblet. “Alex Fierro, you fought against great odds, with no thought for your own safety, to save a weaker man. You offered this man a weapon, a chance to redeem himself in battle and achieve Valhalla! Such bravery and honor in a child of Loki is…is truly exceptional.”

Sam looked like she had some choice words to share with Helgi, but she was interrupted by another round of applause.

“It’s true,” Helgi continued, “that we have learned not to judge Loki’s children too harshly. Recently, Samirah al-Abbas was accused of un-Valkyrie-like behavior, and we forgave her. Here again is proof of our wisdom!”

More applause. The thanes nodded and patted each other on the back as if to say, Yes, wow! We really are wise and open-minded! We deserve cookies!

“Not only that,” Helgi added, “but such heroism from an argr!” He grinned at the other thanes to share his amazement. “I don’t even know what to say. Truly, Alex Fierro, you have risen above what we would expect from one of your kind. To Alex Fierro!” he toasted. “To bloody death!”

“BLOODY DEATH!” the crowd roared.

No one else seemed to notice how tightly Alex was clenching her fists, or the way she glared at the thanes’ table. My guess was that she hadn’t appreciated some of his word choices.

Helgi didn’t bother calling a vala, or seer, to read Alex’s destiny in the runes like he did when I first arrived in Valhalla. He must have figured the thanes already knew that Fierro would do great things when we all charged to our deaths at Ragnarok.

The einherjar kicked into full party mode. They laughed and wrestled and called for more mead. Valkyries buzzed around in their grass skirts and leis, filling pitchers as fast as they could. Musicians struck up some Norse dance tunes that sounded like acoustic death metal performed by feral cats.

For me, two things dampened the party mood.

First, Mallory Keen turned toward me. “You still think Alex is a legitimate einherji? If Loki wanted to place an agent in Valhalla, he couldn’t have arranged a better introduction….”

The thought made me feel like I was back on Randolph’s boat, being tossed around in fifteen-foot swells. I wanted to give Alex the benefit of the doubt. Sam had told me it was impossible to cheat your way into Valhalla. Then again, since becoming an einherji, I ate impossible for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

The second thing that happened: I caught a flash of movement somewhere above me. I glanced at the ceiling, expecting to see a high-flying Valkyrie or maybe one of the animals that lived in the Tree of Laeradr. Instead, a hundred feet up, almost lost in the gloom, a figure in black reclined in the crook of a branch, slow clapping as he watched our celebration. On his head was a steel helmet with the face mask of a wolf.

Before I could even say, Hey, look, there’s a goat-killer in the tree, I blinked and he was gone. From the spot where he’d been sitting, a single leaf fluttered down and landed in my mead cup.

Samirah and Magnus Sitting in a Tree, T-A-L-K-I-N-G

AS THE CROWDS streamed out of the hall, I spotted Samirah flying away.

“Hey!” I shouted, but there was no way she could’ve heard me over the rowdy einherjar.

I pulled off my pendant and summoned Jack. “Fly after Sam, will you? Tell her I need to talk to her.”

“I can do better than that,” Jack said. “Hang on.”

“Whoa. You can carry me?”

“For a short hop, yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that sooner?”

“I totally mentioned it! Plus, it’s in the owner’s manual.”

“Jack, you don’t have an owner’s manual.”

“Just hang on. Of course, once you put me back in pendant form, you’ll feel—”

“Like I’ve been carrying myself through the air,” I guessed. “And I’ll pass out or whatever. Fine. Let’s go.”

There was nothing graceful about flying Jack Air. I did not look like a superhero or a Valkyrie. I looked like a guy dangling from the hilt of a sword as it shot skyward—my butt clenched, my legs swinging wildly. I lost a shoe somewhere over the twentieth tier. I nearly fell to my death a couple of times. Otherwise, yeah, great experience.

When we got within a few feet of Sam, I yelled, “On your left!”

She turned, hovering in midair. “Magnus, what are you—? Oh, hey, Jack.”

“’Sup, Lion Lady? Can we put down somewhere? This guy is heavy.”

We landed on the nearest branch. I told Sam about the goat-assassin lurking in Laeradr, and she zipped off to alert the Valkyries. About five minutes later she came back, just in time to cut short Jack’s rendition of “Hands to Myself.”

“That is disturbing,” Sam said.

“I know,” I said. “Jack cannot sing Selena Gomez.”

“No, I mean the assassin,” Sam said. “He’s disappeared. We’ve got the entire hotel staff on alert, but”—she shrugged—“he’s nowhere.”

“Can I finish my song now?” Jack asked.

“No!” Sam and I said.

I almost told Jack to go back to pendant form. Then I remembered that if he did, I would probably pass out for twelve hours.

Sam settled on the branch next to me.

Far below, the last of the dinner crowd was exiting the hall. My friends from floor nineteen, T.J., Mallory, and Halfborn, surrounded Alex Fierro and guided her along. From here it was hard to tell if this was a congratulatory “buddy” kind of escort or a forced march to make sure she didn’t kill anyone.

Sam followed my gaze. “You’ve got doubts about her, I know. But she deserves to be here, Magnus. The way she died…I’m as sure about her heroism as I was about yours.”

Since I’d never been confident about my own heroism, Sam’s comment didn’t ease my mind.

“How’s your eye?”

She touched the bruise. “It’s nothing. Alex just freaked out. It took me a while to understand, but when you take someone’s hand and lead them to Valhalla, you get a glimpse into their soul.”

“Did that happen when you took me?”

“With you, there wasn’t much to see. It’s very dark in there.”

“Good one!” Jack said.

“Is there a rune that would make both of you shut up?” I asked.

“Anyway,” Sam continued, “Alex was angry and scared. After I dropped her off, I started to realize why. She’s gender fluid. She thought that if she became an einherji, she’d be stuck in one gender forever. She really hated that idea.”

“Ah,” I said, which was short for I get it, but I don’t really get it.

I’d been stuck in one gender my whole life. It never bothered me. Now I wondered how that would feel for Alex. The only analogy I could come up with wasn’t a very good one. My second grade teacher, Miss Mengler (aka Miss Mangler), had forced me to write with my right hand even though I was left-handed. She’d actually taped my left hand to the desk. My mom had exploded when she found out, but I still remembered the panicky feeling of being restrained, forced to write in such an unnatural way because Miss Mengler had insisted, This is the normal way, Magnus. Stop complaining. You’ll get used to it.

Sam let out a sigh. “I admit I

don’t have much experience with—”

Jack leaped to attention in my hand. “Argrs? Oh, they’re great! One time me and Frey—”

“Jack…” I said.

His runes changed to a subdued magenta. “Fine, I’ll just sit here like an inanimate object.”

That actually got a laugh out of Sam. She had uncovered her hair, as she often did in Valhalla. She’d told me that she considered the hotel her second home, and the einherjar and Valkyries part of her family, so she didn’t feel the need to wear the hijab here. Her dark locks spilled around her shoulders, and her green silk scarf hung around her neck, shimmering as it tried to activate its magical camouflage. This was a little unsettling, since every once in a while Sam’s shoulders and neck seemed to disappear.

“Does Alex Fierro bother you?” I asked. “I mean…her being transgender? Like, with you being religious and all?”

Sam arched an eyebrow. “Being ‘religious and all,’ a lot of things bother me about this place.” She gestured around us. “I had to do some soul-searching when I first realized my dad was…you know, Loki. I still don’t accept the idea that the Norse gods are gods. They’re just powerful beings. Some of them are my annoying relatives. But they are no more than creations of Allah, the only god, just like you and I are.”

“You remember I’m an atheist, right?”