The Law of Attraction
“When Mark and Adam ask?” There was silence on the other end. “Hello? Are you still there?”
“Yeah, I was just thinking about you being in bed with me. Today was just a stop gap. I need tomorrow night to get here quickly. Under other circumstances it might actually make me a little uncomfortable to get to know you biblically for the first time in my parents’ house, but I’m desperate. I'm starting to get really distracted and not always at convenient times. So should we finish the pre-sex talk so that we don’t have to worry about it later?”
“Sure,” I answered.
“Do you have a favorite position?”
“Whichever one I’m in at the moment. How about you?”
“All of them. How many sexual partners have you had?”
“Six, which includes the first one, even though that was a onetime encounter.”
“Your first time was a one night stand?”
“He wasn’t just some guy I met at a frat party. He was a friend. I thought he was more than that but he was too happy being a player.”
“How old were you?”
“Eighteen. I was a freshman at Yale and he was a sophomore. It’s weird, you remind me a little bit of him. You’re not going to sleep with me and then decide that we should just be friends, are you?”
“No. I always make it very clear upfront if I’m only interested in a one-night encounter and I don’t tend to wind up being friends with the women I have them with.”
“How old were you?”
“Sixteen, but my girlfriend was eighteen.”
“You gave it up for a cougar,” I teased.
“Why do I remind you of him?” he said, going back to the other topic. He seemed very interested in this.
“I don’t know. He was tall and exceptionally good-looking like you. He sounded very well educated and upper class. He was very popular and he hooked up a lot. He was planning to go to law school. You’re different in a lot of ways though too. You’re much funnier and you and I have many more interests in common. He was very much a nineteen-year-old. You just hang out with guys who act like they’re nineteen.”
“He should have made things clear before he slept with you.”
“I should have, too. In his defense, I don’t think he knew that I was a virgin and I don’t think he planned it. It just kind of happened. Besides, was it really surprising that a popular nineteen-year-old didn’t want to get too tied down? I should have brought it up beforehand like I did with you.”
“Yeah, by the time you got to me you were a crack negotiator. Good thing that Jessica was right and I wanted to agree with everything you asked for.”
“Well, I wanted to agree to hook up with you. So you’ll be lucky number seven.”
“I promise that you’ll get lucky. I’m going to let you go now so that you can rest up. I’m going to have some adrenaline and some testosterone flowing tomorrow.”
“Sleep well.”
“We’ll both sleep better tomorrow night.”
Friday
Commonwealth v. Franklin
“Your Honor, my client has no criminal record. The marijuana in this case was for personal use and represented a lapse in judgment, nothing more. We would like to work out a settlement with the District Attorney's Office in an effort to avoid prosecution.”
“Mr. Pierce?” Judge Channing asked.
“Normally that wouldn't be a problem Your Honor, but there was just so much marijuana involved in this case – nearly a pound.” Braden doubled checked his notes and glanced at my client.
“But, there were no packaging materials, no cutting materials, no large sums of money, no weapons, nothing to indicate that my client was dealing, so regardless of the amount, the evidence points to personal use.”
Judge Channing turned to my client with a withering look. “Ms. Franklin, how old are you?”
“Eighty-two in July, Judge, and still as lively as ever.” She smiled.
“Obviously,” he said scathingly. “And all of this marijuana was for you alone?”
“Well, it was my whole stash, honey,” she answered earnestly. I winced a little.
“Ms. Ginsberg has explained that you can't do this anymore?”
“Yes.” She sighed heavily. “It's not worth the trouble. I'm going back to whiskey.”
“That's good. I mean, well. That's… acceptable. Okay, I'm going to advise the District Attorney's office to work out an agreement for community service.”
“Understood, Your Honor,” Braden replied.
Ms. Franklin wobbled off as I returned to counsel table. Braden walked over to hand me the order.
“Seems like a fun gal,” he said.
“I'll trade you sexual favors for the old lady's freedom,” I joked quietly.
“You're on.”
“Mr. Pierce! Call the next case,” Judge Channing bellowed.
“Commonwealth v. Wagner!” Braden called. My client, dressed in a hat with ear-flaps and a tee-shirt with a picture of a smiling donkey and a caption that read, “I Lost my Ass in Las Vegas” walked forward. It boggled my mind that this morning when he had gone through his closet that had jumped out at him as the most appropriate thing to wear to court.
“What's this about?” Judge Channing asked, giving my client an irritated look.
“Your Honor,” Braden began, the Commonwealth will establish that on April 14th of this year Mr. Scott Wagner stopped Mr. Franklin Jordan with what turned out to be a toy gun, and demanded that he drive him around from ATM machine to ATM machine as he withdrew money from his own account. He’s charged with carjacking.”
“I’m asking for a psychiatric evaluation, Your Honor, and I request that my client remain out on bail.”
“Granted! Court adjourned. Get me out of here.” Judge Channing got up and left without saying goodbye. I was pretty sure that he was getting close to retirement.
Braden turned to me with a smile. That smile always caused my tummy to flip flop and it probably would even if we were together until I was Ms. Franklin's age.
“I’m going to drop these files off and then I’m going back to my place to finish packing, and look forward to having carnal knowledge of you tonight.”
“I like a man with goals.” We packed up our files.
“I’ll finally know what it feels like to go au natural,” he said with a wicked smile.
“Come as you are,” I joked.