The Law of Attraction

“Uh, Playboy, Penthouse, cigars, Scotch. Actually, if you find that stuff let me know. I think I want to hang out with that guy.”

“Well, what kind of stuff would a woman have that a guy wouldn’t?” I was getting desperate.

“Tampons!” Jess yelled and clapped her hands like she was on Family Feud.

“Will you be quiet?” I hissed. “The point is we can figure out within maybe five cans which one is hers. It looks like there’s an alley over there and there are street lights. I say we carry the cans back there and figure out which one it is.”

“Okay, good luck with that. I’m the lookout, remember?” Cam said, walking away.

“I’m the driver,” Jess chimed in.

“And I’m the trash picker. Yes, I recall the conversation, but I need your help carrying it back there.” They sighed and both of them went over and picked up a can and hauled it back to the alley. I picked one up too and we soon had five cans back there. We had placed them directly under a street light and I opened the lid and started going through the first can. I was leaning into it covered in garbage myself when Jess finally broke.

“Oh Jesus, honey! I can’t watch you do this anymore. Move over!” She started going through a second can. I saw Cam squirm.

“I’m not going to do this.”

“So, don’t. You’re the lookout,” I reminded him.

“I’m serious. I’m really not picking through trash.”

“Ew! Is that a condom?” Jess asked.

“Ah man!” Cam made a face and kicked the base of the street light. “It’s like I can hear my mother saying ‘a gentleman picks through trash for a lady, Cameron’,” he grumbled. “Move over!” He stormed over and ripped the lid off a third can. “I don’t know if we’re going to find anything we can use,” he said, and suddenly a voice called out.

“Cameron? Is that you?” Cam froze. Three male shadows approached. “It’s Bob – Bob Lewis.”

“Bob! How are you?” Cam stood up as a well-dressed middle-aged man and his two companions approached.

“Phil, Jack, this is Cameron Clay from Findlay Clay. He’s my financial planner. I trust him with all of my most important money decisions.”

“Uh, I would shake your hands but…” Cam was fighting hard to maintain his dignity. Maybe he would make a good public defender yet.

“What are you doing here, Cameron?” Bob asked, seemingly noticing for the first time that his financial planner, the man he trusted with all of his most important money decisions, was at the moment picking through a garbage can.

“Um…”

“I know!” Jack said with a chuckle.

“You do?” Cam asked dubiously.

“Yes, I do. It happened to my wife just last week.”

“It did?”

“Her diamond ring came off in the kitchen and wound up in the garbage. We spent an hour digging through the trash before we found it. So did your girlfriend lose something valuable?”

“Yes!” both Jess and I said at exactly the same time. We looked at each other and then said “she did” at the same time too. “You did!” I said through gritted teeth.

“I did,” she said. “My uh, yearbook.” Huh? “My high school yearbook. It must have fallen into the garbage. I’m very broken up about it.” Jack looked confused. I didn’t blame him.

“Well, uh, I hope you find it,” he said with a nod and a smile, backing away slowly. Clearly he thought we were either nuts or on drugs. I didn’t blame him for that either.

“Take care,” Bob threw in, looking like he thought maybe he was missing something here and there really was a perfectly reasonable explanation for all of this. The three of them continued walking down the alley and around the block. Cam breathed a sigh of relief and then he glared at me.

“You look angry,” I noted, taking an involuntary step back.

“Angry? Why would I be angry?” he asked quietly. “A multi-millionaire who trusts me to give him investment advice just caught me picking through trash and saying that we might not find anything that we could use.”

I glanced at my watch. Shit! It was ten minutes to ten! “We have to get out of here. I told Braden I would be ready to go to his place by ten.”

“Come on!” Jess said and headed for my car with Cam and I right behind her. We pulled into my parking garage at ten exactly. I thanked Cam again and apologized for the fiftieth time about Bob. He seemed to be over it. In fact I think he was starting to find it kind of humorous. He waved as he hopped into his own car and headed home. Jess and I sprinted up the stairs and tore into the lobby… where Braden and Adam and Mark and Bruno were patiently waiting.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

I saw their faces register confusion and then, well, disgust to be honest, and I looked down. I was covered in garbage. There were gum wrappers, used napkins, bits of tinfoil and something that I hoped was a wad of gum stuck to my clothes. I looked over at Jess and she was no better. Among other things she had a Ziploc baggie stuck in her hair and there was a banana peel melded to her shorts.

“Oh, I can’t wait to hear this,” Adam said.

“I may need to take a quick shower before we go.” Bruno began to whine and then he hid under a chair. Braden handed his leash to Mark and got up to walk over to me. When he got about two feet away, though, he halted.

“Oh, Gabrielle!” He made a face and waved his hand to clear the air. “Maybe not a quick one.” Great. I smelled bad too. Jess walked over to the elevator.

“Might as well come on up and make yourselves comfortable,” she offered.

“Uh, we’ll take the stairs,” Mark said with a grimace.

Twenty minutes later I was clean again and entering the living room, where Jess was already talking to the guys.

“I was just explaining how we went out to eat and I left my wallet on the tray and it got dumped into the trash and we had to check the dumpster to find it.” Wow, that was a lot better than ‘I accidentally threw my high school yearbook away’.

Bruno gave a happy yip and came running up to me. Braden came over hesitantly, leaned down, nuzzled my neck and inhaled deeply. “Mm, much better. What were you two out doing tonight anyway – besides going out to eat and digging through dumpsters?”

“Gathering evidence for a case.”

“What? Why were you doing that? That’s what your office pays investigators for.”