The Law of Attraction
Best,
Braden T. Pierce, Esq.
Assistant District Attorney.
Oh shit! He was flirting back – big time! Now what? I hadn’t planned this far ahead. Actually, I hadn’t planned at all. I was winging it and flying blind here. While I desperately tried to think of how to answer that, a round of tequila shots arrived at our table along with salt and lime.
“Salud,” Jess said and downed her tequila. I remembered again why I didn't usually go out with my colleagues on Friday nights. When there were more than two hundred lawyers in your office someone was always winning a trial.
“Viva Mexico,” I said and drank mine distractedly in one swallow.
“Take mine, Gab.”
“I can’t, Mark. I hardly ever drink anymore and I just had two cups of beer and downed a shot of tequila within less than half an hour.”
“You’re not driving. Don’t waste it. There are people going to bed sober tonight all over the world.”
“Fine. Speedy Gonzales,” I said making the only other Mexican-themed toast that popped into my head, and drank his shot too. I vowed that it would be the last one and I didn’t care if someone came in who had just won the trial of the century.
“Are you trying to get her drunk?” Jess asked.
“Maybe.” He laughed.
Finally I came up with something to write. I was going to have to sell some real estate to raise enough money to tip the impatient waitress who had been standing there the whole time.
Dear Braden,
I wouldn’t want to be responsible for encouraging an officer of the court to misbehave in public. That might actually be disorderly conduct – among other things.
Yours Truly,
Gabrielle S. Ginsberg, Esq.
Public Defender
My response was another big hit. I heard more laughter and comments that I couldn’t make out. Actually, I could make out less and less of what was going on around me. My head was starting to feel a little fuzzy. Jess and Mark had been checking out this ongoing correspondence with great amusement. A few minutes later we received a reply from the other table.
Dear Gabrielle,
Would you like to encourage me to misbehave more privately?
Warmly,
Braden T. Pierce, Esq.
Assistant District Attorney
My mouth went dry and I almost fell out of my chair but I had a feeling that people were watching my reaction closely, so I was careful not to get all flustered. Yep – you guessed it – law school. Really, the only thing they don’t teach you there is law. Jess glanced over and quickly did a double take when she read that.
“What?!” she exclaimed. “Is that a question or an offer?” she asked Mark.
“Uh,” Mark began with a laugh. “I think he might be asking her if she wants to hook up.”
Oh f**k! The flirtation thing had worked a little bit too well. Although my position on the one night stand thing was wavering a little at the moment, the tiny little piece of my brain that wasn’t yet swimming in beer and tequila was warning me that having a one night stand with the prosecutor who I faced regularly in court, and was insanely infatuated with to boot, was maybe not a good idea. Jess helped me to get a grip on reality.
“Mark, she was just flirting with him, not trying to pick him up. If he’s interested in her let him ask her out on a date. You know — a date? Where you leave with the same person you arrived with?” I wanted to be just like Jess when I grew up. Then she turned to me. “Honey, you tell him that he doesn’t get to misbehave with you unless he at least takes you out to dinner first.” That sounded like a good response. It even sounded saucy. What the hell — I was feeling courageous. Alcohol will do that.
Dear Braden,
If you want to misbehave with me, at the very least, you’ll have to take me out to dinner first.
Respectfully,
Gabrielle S. Ginsberg, Esq.
Public Defender
“I suspect I’ll be getting a summons soon,” Mark said as we watched my response make its way
toward the other table. “So, you’re saying that you’re not interested in just hooking up with Braden but you would be interested in dating him?”
“I was under the impression that he didn’t really do that – dating, I mean,” I answered.
“He doesn’t,” Mark replied. “You never know though. I kind of get the feeling he may be a little more interested in you, but I can’t make many promises, even if he is.”
“See!” Jess smirked in triumph. “I told you so!” Mark glanced at her with amusement.
“Well, I might possibly be interested, but only if it was like a real dating thing and not just a one nighter with a meal plan,” I said. Mark found that rather amusing.
“So, you would want there to be a series of dates?” he asked, sounding like he was negotiating a plea bargain.
“I’m not saying he’s got to commit to a certain amount. I’m just saying that it would have to be more than “one and done” even if I got fed.” I paused for a few seconds and then went for it. “And if he really wanted to date me then it would need to be exclusive.”
“That’s a pretty big demand.” Mark looked like he didn’t think I had a snowball’s chance in hell of nailing that one down.
“I’m not making demands, Mark,” I explained. “I just prefer that people who date me focus on getting to know me, which is easier if they aren’t busy screwing a bunch of other women. Besides, I’m sorry, but I just don’t want to stand in line at anybody’s bedroom door. I was an only child. I never learned to share nicely.” I didn’t hold out much hope either, but I wasn’t going to compromise on this and wind up miserable. I’d rather be frustrated than heartbroken.
“I think what she’s saying, Mark, is that she would be more than happy to tire him out on a regular basis herself but she expects to be treated with respect.” Jess summed things up well.
“Mark, I believe that Mr. Roth is trying to get your attention,” I said. I had glanced over quickly and seen that Adam was grinning at us and gesturing for Mark to join them. Braden looked deep in thought but he was also looking at me. My tummy fluttered.
“I’ll relay your position, Gab,” he said with a smile. “We public defenders have to stick together.” Mark was a champion negotiator. I didn’t exactly anticipate success but at least I was in the best hands possible. If I ever committed a felony, (and mind you, the night was still young), I wanted Mark in my corner. When he left I decided to take advantage of Jess and I being left alone to hold a conference and I leaned across the table, speaking in a conspiratorial tone while breathing tequila fumes into her face.