“Yes,” I say, mildly. “But what Jake is or isn’t is, is of no relevance to me.”

“Even though you used to be best friends growing up.”

“Which was twelve years ago.”

But doesn’t feel like Jake and me have been apart at all, we’ve fallen back in line with each other with such ease. I omit that though.

“And if I said I didn’t want you to go …”

“Well I kind of hoped you wouldn’t want me to go but…”

“You’d still go anyway.”

“Yes. It’s an amazing opportunity for me, Will.”

“Hmm.” He nods. “So how long would you be gone?”

“The tour’s for seven weeks in total, with a two week break after the first three in Europe. Then it’s four weeks in the US and Canada, then done.”

“So you’ll be gone for three weeks to start with.” He sounds unhappy.

I nod. “But I will do my best to get home if I can.”

“And you’ve already said you’ll definitely do it?”

“Yes. The magazine really needs this. And this is a published book I’m talking about here, writing a book on a band like The Mighty Storm will be huge for my career. It could open up all kinds of doors for me.”

“But why ask you? You’ve never wrote a book before.”

Wow, thanks for the support.

“No, but I have been writing for a long time, and there is first time for everything, Will. You know maybe Jake actually thinks my writing is good, and he’s a good friend so he thought he’d help me out by giving this opportunity to me. You know supporting me in my career – which was what I was kind of hoping you would do.” I drop my fork onto my plate with a clatter.

“Sorry,” he backtracks. “I am supportive and I’m pleased for you, it’s just a little out of the blue, and I’m sad that I’m going to have to be without you for such a long time.”

Sighing, I get up, and walk around to him and sit in his lap. He puts his fork down on his plate and wraps his arms around me.

“The time will fly by, baby,” I say, kissing his cheek. “And then I’ll be back home and everything will be back to normal. Except I’ll be writing a book.” I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face.

Will touches my face, brushing my hair back. “I am really pleased for you, darling. I’m just going to miss you so much.”

“I’ll miss you too.”

He leans in and presses his lips to mine. He tastes of red wine and lasagne.

I wrap my arms around his neck kissing him back. I part my lips and his tongue moves in my mouth.

I turn in his lap so I’m straddling him, kissing him still. He groans in my mouth.

Normally when Will makes that sound it really turns me on, but for some reason I don’t feel as turned on.

I push myself closer to him, trying to ignite a fire in my belly.

I feel Will get hard beneath me. He puts his hands on my ass, and pulls me hard onto him.

But still nothing is happening for me.

I’m probably just tired, and overwhelmed with everything that’s happened over the last few days. I’ll get turned on any second now, I’m sure of it.

But I don’t feel any different when he’s leading me into my bedroom, and undressing me, and making love to me. And I can’t for the life of me figure out why not.

It’s half ten when Adele starts singing, telling me I have a text. I must change my ring tone.

Will is already asleep. He fell asleep pretty much right after we made love, but I’ve been laid here for ages unable to sleep watching the TV in my room with the sound low.

I whip my phone up off my nightstand, silencing it. Then I see the text is from Jake. My heart jumps in my chest.

With nervous fingers, I open up the text:

So I’m sitting here bored shitless and I was thinking about that time when we blew off school, when it was that mad heat wave that one summer, and we took the train to Hebden Bridge so we could go swimming in Lumb Falls … do you remember?

Smiling at the memory, I climb out of bed, pulling my dressing gown on and I go into the kitchen, taking my phone with me. I put the kettle on to make a tea. While it’s boiling, I type a text back:

Of course I do! That was such a fun day, well until you dared me to jump off the high rocks, and I did and when I resurfaced I’d lost my bikini top and you had to go diving for it!

Laughing to myself I press send. I put my phone onto vibrate so not to disturb Will, then get a cup out of the cupboard and drop a teabag in it. My phone vibrates in my hand:

That’s what I was remembering ;)

My face flushes red. Is he flirting with me? I instantly type back:

Perv! I was only thirteen!

My phone vibrates immediately:

So was I. x

He put a kiss at the end. I grab the milk out of the fridge and type back a reply.

You’re still a perv ;) Seriously though, I did just want to say thank you again for lunch. I’ve never quite had a lunch like it before.

I hover my finger over the send button. Then I go back and add a few kisses then press send.

Me either. I’ll miss u while I’m gone. Be good. x

He’ll miss me? And he’s telling me to be good. When am I never good? I hold the phone to my chest, contemplating texting him back.

Unable not to, I quickly tap out a text:

I’ll miss u 2. And fyi, I’m always good. It’s you that needs to learn the meaning of the word. x

It’s a minute before he replies:

I’m starting to. x

I stare at my phone for a while, confused, until the kettle boils bringing me round.

I make myself a cup of tea and take it back to bed with me. I climb in bed beside Will. He groans and rolls over in this sleep, facing me.

I look at him and sip my tea, then it hits me why I didn’t feel turned on before with Will.

Because of Jake. Because I can’t stop thinking about him.

Chapter Nine

I’m in a taxi on my way to Heathrow airport to fly out to Sweden for the first leg of the tour.

I’m mega excited about this tour, and I’m also really looking forward to seeing Jake again.

I might not have seen Jake for two weeks, but we’ve been in regular contact; I’ve spoken to him every day. Well, not actually spoken, but we’ve been emailing and texting every day since he texted me that first night.

It’s like we’ve never been away from each other. The last twelve years dissolving into irrelevance.

Some of the emails and texts have been a little flirty, mostly on his part, but I’ve made sure not to cross any line. I don’t want to blur things and give Jake the wrong impression.

I’m not up for being another notch on his incredibly long belt, even if he is gorgeous and lovely, and so very sweet to me. It’s not worth losing Will over.

And Will … well things have been amazing these last few weeks. It’s been like it was when we first got together. Hot sex everywhere.

It seems that lag I had, which I’m totally putting down to Jake’s huge bang back into my life, vanished with him going back to LA.

We were in bed together last night, when Will did the sweetest thing…

“So I bought you something,” Will said climbing out of bed, leaving me feeling cold without him.

“You did?” I sat up, feeling a little frisson of excitement.

Will always buys me the best presents, he knows what I like. He knows me so well.

He retrieved something for his pants pocket, which were slung over the chair at my dressing table, while I admired his hot, tight body and cute bum from behind.

He’s so gorgeous and lovely. I love that he’s mine.

He came over and sat down on the bed beside me. “I bought this for you, because I want you to have something to remember me by while you’re gone.” He held out a black, velvet jewellery box.

“Jewellery,” I smiled. My itchy fingers reached out to touch the soft black velvet.

Will looked a little nervous as I opened it.

“On my God! Will it’s beautiful!” I touched my fingers to the platinum chainmail bracelet feeling completely overwhelmed by his thoughtfulness.

“You like?” He looked at me hopefully.

“I love!” I leant forward and kissed him firmly on the lips.

He held my face in his hands, prolonging the kiss to deep. When he finally released me he removed the bracelet from the box and I held my arm out allowing him to put it on.

“It looks perfect,” he said staring down at it. My own eyes fixed on it too. “I want you to wear it all the time you’re away from me, so you have a permanent reminder of me and our life together.” Will’s voice was deep and low.

My heart started to hurt in my chest at the thought of the length of time I’m actually going to be away from him. The enormity of it finally hit me.

I felt tears start to prick the backs of my eyes.

“Like I would ever forget about you,” I said gently. I touched my hand to his face, feeling the starter of his rough stubble under my fingertips.

Will took hold of my hand, kissing my palm. He started to kiss a path down my arm slowly, making my tummy tingle, as his lips moved over my shoulder and up my neck, until he reached my mouth.

He took my face in his hands, fingers buried deep into my hair. “I love you so much,” he said.

“Show me how much,” I grinned, biting down on my lip.

Will’s eyes came alive with instant lust, and then he set about showing me just how much he actually does love me for the rest of the night.

Leaving Will in the morning was really hard. I cried a bunch. He wanted to drive me to the airport but he had an early meeting which he couldn’t get out of, so we said our goodbyes at my flat and I promised to call him as soon as I land in Stockholm.

I was sad to leave Simone too. We were both a little teary as I was getting in my taxi. Thank God for Brightening Eyes and Touche Eclat, otherwise I’d look a puffy mess right now.

Simone and I have not been apart since university. Any holidays we go on, we go together, so it’ll be weird been away without her, doing all the fun stuff I imagine I’ll be doing.

She’s promised to come and visit me on tour, and I don’t doubt she will as she’s desperate to meet Jake and the other guys in the band.

I’m really looking forward to meeting them too. Obviously, I’ve seen pictures of Tom and Denny, and have read interviews they’ve done, but it’ll be real nice to meet the guys behind those images and words.

I called my mum and dad to tell them the news of the tour the next day after I’d found out. My dad was ecstatic to put it mildly. Actually he freaked out. He’s like a big kid at times!

He was also really happy to hear I was back in touch with Jake. My mum seemed a little bit reserved about the whole thing. I know it’s just because she worries about me.

It was in that call that dad told me about this huge donation they’d received at Tuners for Youths, by an anonymous benefactor, and they were freaking out as the donation was sizeable – huge in fact … one million pounds.

One-freaking-million-pounds!

I nearly choked when he told me. The charity is only small, so the difference that kind of money will make to them is immense.