The Next Best Thing
“You know what? He’s the—” Faith looked around (the early crowd was trickling in) and lowered her voice to a whisper. “He’s only the second man I’ve slept with. So let’s just slow things down.”
“I know he’s the second,” Colleen said. “That’s my fault. I regret buying you adult toys.”
“Shh! Come on! I don’t want your brother to know all this stuff!”
“Well, it’s true,” her friend said, taking a long pull of coffee. “I’m sure you would’ve gotten laid long before now. Three years is too long.”
“I’d have to agree there, Faithie,” Connor called.
“You two. What a team.” Ah, well. It was just Coll and Con, the two-for-one special.
“So how was it?” Colleen asked.
“I’m only telling you if you keep your voice down.”
“Fine,” Colleen whispered. “How’s this?”
Faith smiled. “It was...” She smiled. “It was amazing.”
“Yes! This is great! Con, it was amazing.”
“Yay.”
Colleen sighed happily. “So, are you engaged, are you dating, or was this a one-time bang-a-palooza, never to be repeated, are you friends with bennies...what?”
Faith paused. “I don’t know. We’re definitely not engaged.”
Colleen gave her a knowing look. “You’re in love, aren’t you?”
“No.”
“Sure you are. I know you. You wouldn’t have had sex with him if you weren’t.”
“I’m not. He’s... I mean, he’s... It could happen, I suppose.” Her face was getting hot again. “Look, here’s my dad. Please don’t hit on him or tell him I’m getting a little some-some or give him anything with jalapenos, because he’s got acid reflux.”
“Oh, Jack is here, too. Hooray.”
“Be merciful, Coll.”
“They’re kind of early, aren’t they?” Connor asked, looking out from the kitchen door. “I don’t usually see Jack before seven.”
“I’m screening a date for my dad. Dad will eavesdrop, then give me the thumbs-up or down.”
“You Hollands are so cute.”
The afternoon after the party, while Levi had been busy with his sister, Honor, Pru and Faith had had an intervention with Dad. Honor had served as Head Inquisitor, Mrs. Johnson banging pots and slamming drawers in the kitchen to underscore the theme of disapproval. Dad had admitted that he’d enjoyed Lorena’s “wacky ways,” as well as the distraction of having someone new to talk to but hadn’t believed she was as attached as his children had warned. He had no intention of seeing the vegan gardener again and said he’d try to be open to dating someone. Maybe. Possibly. And, yes, he’d do what they told him from now on.
Faith was immensely relieved.
“Jack,” she said, “brother mine, don’t think I didn’t notice you skulking off from the party the other night.”
“Don’t think I didn’t hear you left with Levi.”
“He drove me home,” Faith said, feeling her face practically burst into flame.
“Is that what you kids are calling it these days?” He gave her a cuff. “Spare me the details, okay? Pru is bad enough. Pru is horrifying, come to think of it.”
A half hour later, Faith was seated in a booth, the same one where the accountant had tried to talk dirty to her. Accountants. Were they all pervy? At any rate, Dad was in the next booth, already sweaty, pretending to talk to Jack, who was reading the paper.
Because internet dating was the most effective way to find someone, Faith had given it another shot (avoiding StillHotGranny). She reposted a profile for her dad, admitting immediately that she was his daughter, acting as first-round screener. Tonight, she was meeting a woman named Maxine Rogers, who’d answered all questions appropriately.
Faith was just digging into the plate of nachos grande and a glass of beautiful Riesling, which had the nicest tangerine notes and went perfectly with dinner, when Maxine approached.
“Faith?”
“Hi! Maxine, right?”
The woman smiled broadly. “Yes. How are you, dear?”
She was very tall, which hadn’t come across in the photos. Her hair was black (had to be dyed, but it was a nice job, too, very shiny, unlike Lorena’s Sharpie look), and her makeup was expertly applied, especially her red lipstick, which was bold and rather dashing. Maxine had put in some effort, in other words, and it worked. She was nicely dressed, especially notable since she had to be nearly six feet tall. Faith noted that her dad had turned his head the slightest bit to check her out.
“It’s wonderful to finally meet you,” Maxine said. Her voice was pleasantly low-pitched.
“You, too,” Faith said. “You’re so nice in your emails.”
“Oh, sweetheart, you’re an angel to say so.” She settled back against the booth. “I think it’s very kind what you’re doing, helping your father find love again. Just so sweet.”
It really was, Faith thought. “Would you like some nachos?”
“Thank you! Aren’t these gorgeous,” Maxine said, taking a healthy chunk. Good. Faith hated being the only female who really ate.
Colleen approached the booth. “Can I get you— Oh! Hi. Uh, I’m sorry, I didn’t...see you come in. Can I get you something to drink?” she asked Maxine.
“Faith, what are you drinking, honey?” Maxine said, and Faith already liked her immensely.
“Coll, what am I having?” she asked. “Maxine, Colleen is my oldest friend.”
“Nice to meet you,” Maxine said, offering her hand to Colleen.
“You, too. Um, Faith is drinking...the uh, the Bully 2011 Riesling, right, Faith?” Coll gave her a pointed look.
“That’s right. It’s delicious,” Faith said. “Tangerine overtones, a little straw flavor, very smooth finish.”
“Sounds delicious,” Maxine said, smiling. “I’ll have that.”
“I’ll bring it right over.” With that, Colleen was off.
“So, you don’t have children, is that right?” Faith asked.
“No, sadly I never did. But I have four nieces and six nephews, and I adore them all, as well as their kids. I like to think of myself as an Auntie Mame type.”
“That’s so nice. I have a niece and nephew myself. And you’re a bookkeeper?”
“Yes. I love numbers, love making sense of things. I always have.”
Faith sat back and listened as Maxine told her about life in rural Ohio and how she’d come to the Finger Lakes on vacation, then decided to move to Penn Yan after she’d had a windfall. “It was one of those things, Faith,” she said. “I was doing fine, don’t get me wrong, but I must’ve had some kind of angel on my shoulder, because really, who wins a hundred thousand dollars with a scratch-off? I asked myself, what do I want to do for the rest of my life? And this place above all others was the one that spoke to me.”
Colleen brought over the wine. “Faith, can I see you a second?” Colleen asked. From the kitchen came a crash and a yell. “Shoot,” she said, and dashed off.
Maxine was passing every test. Manners, funny, open, warm, told a good story. She was financially secure, had an active social life, loved fishing, tennis and cooking. Faith’s hopes rose. At the very least, she could see Dad dating this nice lady occasionally. For one indulgent moment, as Maxine was telling her about her trip to Montana last summer, Faith pictured her in the New House for Sunday dinner, laughing her husky laugh, charming everyone. Even Mrs. J.
Maybe Levi would be there, too.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t hear what you just said.” What the heck. She already felt like she and Maxine were old friends. “I just started seeing someone myself,” she whispered. “I’m a little distracted.”
Maxine’s face lit up. “I wondered why a pretty girl like you was still single,” she whispered. “Tell me about him.”
“It’s very new,” Faith whispered, feeling the heat rise into her cheeks. “He’s very...” Her voice trailed off. Hot. Intense. Great in bed. Delicious.
“Oh,” Maxine said, smiling in a wonderfully conspiratorial way. “One of those. I get it.”
Faith felt like giggling. Two glasses of wine, only nachos since noon. “Anyway, back to you, Maxine. What do you like to cook?”
Her phone vibrated, her cue to go to the bathroom. “I’m so sorry. Excuse me for one second,” she said, sliding out of the booth.
Jack met her at the entrance of the restrooms. “Dad says it’s a go. He likes what he’s heard so far.”
“Yes!” Faith said, elation rising up like a geyser. Finally, she could look at Dad and see a happy man, rather than a lonely widower doing his best.
“This is so weird, Faith. I feel like we’re pimping out our father.”
“No, we’re not! Don’t you see, Jack? Dad could get married again. He could stop missing Mom and be happy.”
Her brother gave her an odd look. “I think he’ll always miss Mom, even if he did remarry, and he’s not unhappy, Faith.”
“Well, you’re next, so be nice to me or I’m throwing you to Colleen, and the hyenas will pick over your bones.”
“So, love is in the air, huh? Since Levi, ah, drove you home?”
She couldn’t help a smile, remembering the other night.
“Oh, God,” Jack said. “Sorry I asked.” He walked back to his table.
Faith took a minute to use the bathroom. Her cheeks were flushed. She looked a little...dreamy. Maybe Levi would come over tonight and shag her silly, since Sarah’s Twitter feed said he’d dropped her off and all.
The stall door opened, and Jessica Does came out.
“Oh. Hey,” Faith said, abruptly turning on the water. Didn’t want Jessica to think she just came in to gaze at her reflection.
And, oh, crap. Jessica was Levi’s old girlfriend. Would that come into play?
“Hi.” Jessica washed her hands, too.
“How are you?” Faith asked.
“Fine. You?”
“Fine.”
With that, Jessica reached past Faith and grabbed some paper towels from the dispenser, her movements so sharp that Faith actually ducked. “Jesus, Holland,” Jess said, rolling her eyes. “You think I’m gonna slap you or something?”
“No, no. I didn’t. I just...”
“Whatever. Bye.”
Jess was gone, ever the princess of manners. Didn’t matter. Dad’s potential wife was out there.
Faith’s phone buzzed. It was a text from Colleen, for God’s sake. Faith had nothing against phones and texting, but really. Colleen was in the same building. She opted not to read it but speak to her friend instead. Maxine, a live human, was waiting for her, after all. Faith opened the door and went out, only to see her father standing there.
“I really like her,” Dad said. “She seems really nice. Tall, isn’t she?”
“Mmm-hmm. Great clothes.”
Dad smiled. “I noticed that, too. Your mom was quite snazzy, too. Like you.”
This time, the guilt punch wasn’t quite so strong. “Thanks, Daddy.”
Her dad folded her into a hug. “I appreciate this, sweetpea. I really do. You’re awfully good to your dear old dad. So maybe I’ll swing by the booth, pretend I just dropped in, how’s that?”
“That’s great.”
Maxine was delicately nibbling on a nacho when Faith got back.
Huh. Nail polish, definitely a professional mani, but there was something...