The Play
Unfortunately, Hunter heard me loud and clear. Even as his head swivels my way, the rest of his body doesn’t miss a step, his long legs eating up the treadmill. “Uh oh. My man Nico’s not doing it for you with his tongue?”
“No, he is.”
“Yeah? Didn’t sound like it just now.”
“Whatever, not everyone is great at oral,” I grumble. “Practice makes perfect, right?”
Hunter appears to be trying not to laugh. “Haven’t you guys been together for like ten years?”
“Eight,” I say grudgingly. “We officially started dating when we were thirteen.”
“And he still hasn’t mastered the art of eating pussy?” Incredulity lines his tone.
“Don’t be crude.”
“Fine, would you like me to call it cunnilingus?”
Ugh, that word is truly unappealing. Who even came up with it? “Look, I’m not saying he’s awful at it. Honestly, I think it’s me. I’m just not interested in it.”
“Have you ever gotten oral from anyone else?”
“No.”
“Then how do you know it’s you?” Hunter challenges. “A hundred bucks says he just sucks at going down on chicks. How much time does he spend down there?”
My cheeks are on fire. “Not a lot.” I hurry on in Nico’s defense, “I think he’s too impatient to get inside me.”
“But the anticipation is half the fun,” Hunter protests.
I shrug. “It doesn’t matter. Even if it is him, he does amazing things when he’s in me, and his finger game is pretty sweet. We can’t all be good at everything, right?”
“I can,” Hunter says smugly.
“Mmm-hmmm, I’m sure you’re phenomenal in bed. Men who brag about their sexual prowess always are.”
“I am. Too bad you’ll never find out.”
“Me and every other girl, Monk.”
He rolls his eyes. His pace remains brisk. How is he carrying an entire conversation without getting breathless? Me, I’m struggling to talk and run at the same time. Damn athletes.
“Anyway, despite his very disappointing failings, Nico seems like a cool dude,” Hunter relents. “He’s funny.”
“He’s hilarious. And yes, he is a cool dude.”
“Minus the subpar oral skills, of course.”
“They’re not subpar. They’re par.”
“What an endorsement!”
“Oh, shut up.”
“You shut up.” Hunter flashes that devilish grin of his. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell him you said that. It would crush his ego.”
“Everything you and I talk about falls under doctor-patient confidentiality,” I say firmly.
“You got it, Doc.”
A woman in tight workout gear meanders over and starts doing squats directly in our line of sight. One might think her choice of location is unintentional, if not for the fact that in the mirror across the room, her thirsty gaze is super-glued to Hunter.
He notices the admirer and gives me a wink. She’s not the first female to try to catch his attention this evening, and I’m sure she won’t be the last. It’s ironic that he’s celibate, because any chick in this fitness center would happily have sex with him. In the gym. In front of everyone.
“I can’t believe Nico’s the only person you’ve ever slept with,” Hunter muses.
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Wrong? Nothing. It’s just surprising.”
“We’ve been together forever—when would I have had the opportunity to sleep around?”
“You never cheated? Ever?”
“Never. There were some breaks over the years, but I never slept with anyone else.”
He cocks one eyebrow defiantly. “You’re saying you didn’t hook up at all during those breaks?”
“I kissed some guys,” I admit with a shrug.
“Because that isn’t the vaguest response I’ve ever heard.”
“God, you’re so frickin’ nosy. Fine. I kissed three other guys, and there may have been some petting during one of those encounters.”
“Light or heavy?”
“Light. Didn’t go beyond second base. He wanted to do more, but I felt like I was betraying Nico.”
“Really? You should’ve gone for it. Because I hate to break it to you, but I guarantee that Nico was going beyond second base.”
“I know he was. He and I are honest with each other. Plus, on one of the breaks I saw him making out with some girl at a party. That’s what led to me fooling around with the light petting guy.” I hesitate. “And I know Nico slept with someone else, at least once.”
“At least?” Hunter’s sneakers slap the treadmill as he increases his pace. Ugh. He’s running faster now! And he’s still not even breathing hard. It’s unbelievable.
I’m moving at a snail-paced walk by this point, and I’m not even on the cool-down setting. “I know there was one hook-up for sure, because he told me about it. But… I think he cheated on me once,” I confess, and then chastise myself for it.
It’s one thing to critique your boyfriend’s oral skills, but opening the closet and letting the skeletons tumble out? That’s crossing a line.
“Do not tell anyone I said that.”
Hunter is smart enough to recognize I’m serious. “You really believe he cheated on you?”
I jerk my head in a nod. This isn’t a subject I particularly enjoy dwelling on. “The summer before senior year, I visited him in Miami and a bunch of us went on a camping trip to the Everglades. Well, not really camping. More like glamping.”
“Booooo!” Hunter exclaims instantly, giving me two thumbs down.
The woman who’s shaking her butt in our faces glances over her shoulder to see what the commotion is, but Hunter doesn’t even look her way.
“Nope, nope, nope,” he announces. “You’re not allowed to be one of those girls, Semi.”
“I don’t believe in outhouses, okay? I prefer camping in a place with walls and a toilet and Wi-Fi and—”
“That’s not camping!”
“Exactly. It’s glamping, like I said.”
“Boooooo!”
“Will you please stop booing me?”
“Just when I was starting to like you, I find out you’re a spoiled Miami brat who refuses to sleep in a tent.”
“Do you want to hear the rest of the story or no?”
His expression quickly turns eager. “Oh, I really do. But only if you want to tell me.”
For some inexplicable reason, I do want to tell him. I’d only ever confided in one other person about it: Amber, my best friend in Miami. And she told me I was being paranoid.
“One of our friends brought his cousin Rashida on the trip, and I’m telling you, this chick would not stop flirting with Nico. It was starting to piss me off, so I—” I stop abruptly.
“You what?” Hunter demands.
I make a grumbling sound. “I may or may not have told her that if she didn’t stop hitting on my man, I’d drown her in the lake and leave her body for the gators.”