The Reckless Oath We Made
“Roxanne! Thou needst not hang that lantern tonight. Roxanne! Ne wearen that cotehardie tonight.”
“Oh my god, that is such shit!” Rhys said, but Edrard and Zee laughed like hyenas. “I call foul. That is clearly the work of Gawen.”
“Nay, ’tis mine own devising.” Gentry smiled and leaned his head back against the bench, almost close enough to touch Zee’s leg.
“It’s totally his. We heard that song on the drive down yesterday,” Zee said.
“Yes, but if Gentry heard it, Gawen heard it, too. Think of Gawen as Gentry’s conjoined twin,” Rhys said. “His evil invisible conjoined twin.”
“Nay, he be no brother of mine,” Gentry said.
“Then what is he?” Before Gentry could answer, Rhys went back to talking to Zee like he was narrating a nature documentary. “Since he was a kid, he’s been hearing these voices, right? And before you say schizophrenia—”
“I wasn’t going to say schizophrenia,” Zee said. “But I was going to ask who’s where, Gentry, because I’m not always sure who you’re talking to.”
“Oh, you really only need to know about the trinity,” Rhys said. “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.”
Gentry laughed, but he sat up straighter and pointed them out, the way his mother had done for me. “The Witch,” above his head. “Hildegard,” a little to his left, and “Gawen,” who was behind his left shoulder. Then he said something I’d never heard before, so it must have been for Zee’s benefit: “Hag, Nag, Douchebag.”
Everybody thought that was so clever. Zee laughed and tossed her head forward so that her hair fell across Gentry’s shoulder. He was laughing too much to notice.
“Nooo. He’s not a douchebag. We love Gawen!” Edrard said. “He makes us merry and doth often slay us with laughter.”
“Yea, he would slay me. His japery is unceasing, such that I cannot bear to frig myself upon the left, and must take it upon my right.” Gentry made a gesture like he was masturbating, right there in mixed company.
Zee stopped laughing long enough to say, “Are you seriously telling me you had to change which hand you stroke off with, because this guy is always talking to you?”
“Lady, in my youth, it distressed me mightily.”
Everybody went on laughing, but I hated for Gentry to act that way to impress Zee. It was clearly about her, because he’d never said anything that crude in the whole time I’d known him. He’d always spoken like a gentleman. Also, I felt sorry for Zee. Apparently her mother had never told her that a man won’t respect a woman who allows that kind of familiarity.
They went on joking and laughing, until Zee picked up Gentry’s tankard of mead and took the last swallow.
“Wouldst take more?” he said.
“No, at this point all I need is a bath and to sleep for like twelve hours.”
“We ladies are due a turn in the bathing pool. I shall be ready soon enough.” I went into the house to finish a few chores, but when I came out ten minutes later with a towel and a fresh dress, only Rhys and Edrard were at the fire. I said, “Where are Zee and Sir Gentry?”
“He walked her to the pond,” Rhys said. “I guess she’s not completely averse to skinny-dipping.”
“That’s rude. I was going to go with them.”
“I’m not sure they wanted company.”
“Well, I wanted a bath.”
“Do you want me to walk with you?” Edrard said, but he didn’t get up. If I insisted, he would, but he only offered so he could say he had.
“No. Unlike Zee, I’m not afraid of the dark.”
“Meow,” Rhys said, which was ridiculous. It was not catty to expect people to be polite and inclusive.
As I went up the path toward the ponds, I heard Zee and Gentry coming toward me.
“But what if I’d drowned?” she was saying.
“My lady, certs thou art taller than I, and I never drowned. And thou must not forget Melusine.”
“Who?”
“Melusine, that was spied upon in her bath by her husband. I would not meet his fate.”
“Did he catch her shaving?”
“’Twas far worse,” Gentry said. “If it liketh thee, I shall tell the tale.”
“Good even!” I called, since we’d nearly reached each other.
“He had to cut me out of this dress,” Zee said. “I’m not a fan of that.”
“There’s no need to be melodramatic about it. It’s a common way to make the sleeves of a cotehardie fit tight, without buttons. You snip the thread and it all comes loose.”
“Okay, but I don’t usually need a man with a sharp knife to undress me.”
I doubted it usually took that much effort to get her out of her clothes. She hadn’t even gotten redressed. She was walking through the woods wearing nothing but a wet linen chemise, carrying her cotehardie and surcoat over her arm.
“If you’d waited for me, I could have helped you,” I said. “I hope you didn’t damage the fabric.”
“Nay, as thou sayest, ’twas easily undone. Ne cloth rent ne blood shed,” Gentry said. The moon was bright enough that I could see his hair was dry. He hadn’t gone in for a swim with Zee.
“Sir Gentry, would you be so kind as to walk me up so I’m not bathing alone?” I said.
He hesitated, which was a first. He had always offered his help freely when I asked for it.
“If it giveth thee no trouble, Lady Zhorzha?” he said.
“Oh, I don’t want to keep Lady Zhorzha standing out here with her wet hair,” I said. “She can take my lantern to find her way.”
“I think I know which way the tent is.” She turned and pointed. “That way, and then up the path where the 1871 fence post is, right?”
“Yea, my lady. True as an arrow.”
“Here, my lady.” I held out my flashlight and she looped it over her wrist.
“Just so you know, Rosalinda, he’s a lousy lifeguard. He didn’t keep an eye on me at all.” Zee laughed as she went down the path, singing “Roxanne” like a drunk tavern wench.
CHAPTER 24
Zee
Rosalinda could disapprove all she wanted, but I felt better after I got high, and I laughed so much my face hurt. After I took my bath, I hiked back to the tent singing to myself, which I almost never did. I’d used the chemise as my towel, so I hung it up to dry. In the summer, it was probably scorching hot in the tent, but right then, it felt good to lie there naked.