The Saint

Eleanor laughed and winced simultaneously.

“Mine’s a little worse. I made out with some guy I barely know. He was as drunk as me.”

“As I.”

“Right. I passed out while we were making out. I woke up puking. A friend of mine called the hospital. They didn’t even have to pump my stomach I’d puked so much.”

“Are you certain nothing else happened?” He kept his voice and tone neutral. “You can tell me anything, Eleanor.”

Eleanor smiled. Søren would make a much better rape crisis center counselor than what’s-her-name.

“Completely. Other than me being an idiot.”

“You are not an idiot, young lady, and I never want to hear you say anything like that ever again.”

“I am. Hear me out. I did something while you were gone. I met this guy in my American lit class. He … I don’t know. He gave me a shark. And then he wanted to have lunch with me, and it was just lunch. Then lunch was dinner and dinner was a walk in the snow and then we kissed and kissed some more. And I … I liked him so much.” Her stomach clenched in grief. “It was only six days we were together so I don’t even know why I’m so upset about it. We didn’t even have sex. I broke up with him last night. That’s why I got shit-faced.”

She looked up at Søren, expecting to see anger on his face. Instead he merely smiled as if he’d been expecting this all along. Of course he had been.

“Six days? God created the universe in six days. It might have been a short relationship, but that doesn’t mean you can’t mourn its loss.”

“I’m done mourning,” she said, reaching up and touching his face. She loved his skin, the slight hint of stubble on his chin that seemed so masculine and erotic to her.

“Are you making me wait so long for you so this would happen? I mean, so I would find someone else and fall for him?”

Søren exhaled heavily before answering.

“Yes.”

“Why?” she asked although she thought she knew the answer already.

“Because, Little One, our choices mean nothing until we’re given more than one of them.”

“I choose you. It took me a few days, but I did choose you.”

“I knew you would. But you didn’t know if you would choose me. Adam and Eve could have remained in paradise for eternity had there been no apple to tempt them. And their obedience would have been meaningless because obedience would have been the only choice.”

“You knew I would pick you.”

“I did.”

“You’re an arrogant bastard, aren’t you?”

“I know my strengths. You …” He cupped her chin. “You are one of my strengths, my greatest strength.”

“I won’t let you down again.”

“You never have. Now, shall we go before someone asks me for last rites?”

“Yeah, we’d better jet. You’re a hot property in this place.”

“The car is waiting outside. We’ll spend the weekend at Kingsley’s. Father O’Neil had planned to take over my Masses through Monday.”

“Can we do something first before we go to Kingsley’s? It’ll be quick.”

“Anything.”

Eleanor gave him her request and Søren turned his head and stared out the window as he considered it.

“I’m not sure that would be appropriate given our relationship,” he said at last.

“It’s you or no one else.”

Søren paused before answering.

“Very well, then.”

He pulled a small leather case from his jacket pocket and unzipped it. From it he unfurled a purple stole that he kissed before draping it around his neck. He sat back in the chair and looked away to give her privacy.

Eleanor closed her eyes, took a deep breath and began to speak.

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” She crossed herself and began to confess. She confessed everything she’d kept in her heart her entire life. She didn’t bother with her venial sins—lust, lies and self-pity. Instead she told Søren about the phone call she didn’t answer that left her father on his own to face the consequences of his choices. She told him about hurting Wyatt and worse, loving Wyatt. She confessed to using a guy last night out of despair. She confessed to everything.

She poured her sins into Søren’s hands, and then, like magic, he made them disappear. But it wasn’t magic and she knew her sins weren’t gone, only forgiven, and for that she was grateful. She didn’t want her sins gone. She’d miss them too much.

After her confession and absolution, Eleanor’s soul felt clean again. All she needed now was for the outside to match the inside.

At Kingsley’s, he gave her the guest room with the largest bathroom. She stripped out of her clothes, stepped into the shower and let the heat and the water wash away the last of her regret, the last of her grief and the last of her pain. She shaved her legs and scrubbed herself down with a loofah, wanting to scrape away the top layer of skin that felt tainted by the drinking and the sadness and the pain she’d caused. After an hour she turned off the taps and stepped out of the shower into a plush white towel held open by Søren.

“I thought you were never getting out.” He wrapped the towel tight around her and she laughed as he swaddled her.

“Were you in the bathroom the whole time, you creeper?”