Third a Kiss

He at least gave me a heads-up about his betrayal…giving me time to fix what I’d broken before I had to deal with him.

Eleanor stopped up ahead.

Her white and silver dress swung around her hips as she coughed gently and turned back to face me. Her voice held a huskier depth than before, the discoloration around her neck bringing mixed results of shame and desire.

I froze as she padded back toward me, her bare feet and slim ankles a fucking aphrodisiac, even though my body hadn’t fully recovered from elixir.

She licked her lips, smoothing her dress and smiling softly as Pika and Skittles shot past, flying from fruit to fruit, destroying and indulging on whatever they wanted.

I waited until she stood in front of me, her grey eyes still molten from our moment in the boat. When I’d laughed…I’d shocked both of us.

I’d forgotten I was capable of such a thing.

It’d felt foreign. Wrong.

But also familiar. Right.

The way she stared at me had ensured whatever language we’d traded in, steadily learning more phrases the deeper we fell, had switched from unknown into fully understandable.

A look wasn’t just a look now.

A touch wasn’t just a touch.

I heard what her look said.

I knew what her touch promised.

And the way she’d watched me as I’d stopped mid-laugh, confused and conflicted, swallowing back the outlandish sensation, had grabbed a bullhorn and told me everything I needed to know.

She loved me.

Despite what I’d done, because of what I’d done, regardless of who I was and what I did, she loved me.

I knew it in my fucking bones, but it didn’t mean I trusted it.

Not at all.

Why should I trust something that was a simple cocktail of chemicals and body chemistry? She thought she cared, but she’d conveniently ignored the circumstances of our meeting and the complications of our future.

My own parents loved me and look at the level of treason they were capable of.

She might love me…but it meant absolutely nothing, changed nothing.

It can’t.

“Sully…” She licked her lips again, swallowing past her pain. “I’m honoured that you’ve shown me this place. That I’ve had the experience of eating strawberries still warm on their stem and cracked nuts still hanging off their branch…but, I need to ask you something; otherwise, I’m going to go crazy.”

My heart picked up its pace in warning, and I carefully placed my hands into the pockets of my jeans. Whatever she asked, I would not lash out. I would not touch her, scare her, hurt her.

“What do you need to know?”

Her chest rose as she inhaled a fortifying breath. “Please tell me what you’re going to do with Jupiter, Neptune, and Calico. I know you think it’s weak that I don’t want them to suffer, but honestly…it wasn’t their fault.”

My voice slipped into darkness. “If it wasn’t their fault, then the blame lies with me.”

Her eyes flared. “You say that like you already know it does.”

I shrugged. “I’ve always been accountable for my goddesses’ insubordination. If they run, it’s because I’ve trapped them. If they fight, it’s because I’ve placed them in servitude. If they give up, it’s because I’ve taken them away from everything they know and turned their very minds against them.”

She spread her hands as if lost for words. “Then…if you agree their attack on me ultimately lays blame at your feet…don’t you think—” She cut herself off, running shaky fingers through her hair that was a damn drug to me. “Don’t you think they’ve suffered enough?”

“They’ve suffered me, you mean.”

Her back straightened, willingly going to battle for women who’d not only tried to kill her but had let envy scramble up their own morals. Out of everyone I knew, she was the kindest.

Skittles saw it.

Pika knew it.

She had that special gift of empathy that I used to have. Empathy that would get her killed, unless she learned to turn it off and protect herself.

She fought the urge to fidget, keeping her stare tangled with mine. “Living on your island is wonderful, there is no denying that. It’s like a permanent vacation where all your wishes are fulfilled…but—”

“They miss their families, their partners, their lives before I stole it from them.” I strolled around her, keeping my voice level and cool. “They are still prisoners, forced to fuck strangers, given a drug that makes their lust work against them, all while I bleed them of everything they are.”

She shivered as I ran my fingers through her hair, catching on delicate tangles caused by the boat ride. “All while I bleed you dry…”

She gasped as I kissed behind her ear. “The thing is, Eleanor Grace, I don’t care. I don’t care about them. I don’t care that others feel their captivity is cruel and unjustified. I told you when you first arrived that humans are not special. We cannot have two sets of rules: one for animals who we cage and slaughter, and one for us. We cannot bemoan the state of imprisonment and the act of making others do something against their will. Not when we’ve been forcing creatures into enslavement for millennia.”

She tried to spin to face me, but I grabbed her nape, holding her trapped before me. I didn’t squeeze hard, extremely aware of what her throat had endured, but I didn’t let her look at me. This I had to say without forgiveness already shining in her silver-coloured eyes.

“Their actions are entirely my fault. I’m the reason they felt threatened by you. I’m the reason they pinned romantic ideals and stupid hope on the possibility of my saving them. I was the one who took their happiness away. Therefore, they despised me. But I was also the one who could set them free. Therefore, they worshiped me. That constant mix of want and hate turned normal women into scrambled, vindictive shrews who convinced themselves that you were the enemy…not me. You were the reason for all of it because only you caught my attention and only you were special.”

I ran my nose along her shoulder, inhaling the rich scent of orchid, sunshine, and salt. My very island had claimed her as its own, tainting her skin with every scent I adored. “And that’s the crux of the problem, Jinx…you are special. I have no way of denying that. I can lie and say you aren’t, but ultimately, we both know you’re special…to me. Which means, all my laws on equality and humanitarian requirements are total shit because how can I put you first…over them?”

She trembled again as I let her nape go, permitting her to turn to face me. Thoughts shadowed her features like dismembered ghosts, half-formed and discarded before she finally whispered, “You don’t have to see such things in black and white, Sully.”

I raised an eyebrow. “No? How would you see it?”

She shrugged. “Biology. Simple biology.” When I didn’t respond, she added, “Just like I get wet and you get hard from a physical or mental stimulation, the heart suffers the same downfalls.”

“You’re saying what I feel for you…is purely reactionary?”

Her eyelashes fluttered. “What do you feel for me? I asked you on Serigala, and I’m asking you now.”

I snorted and leaned into her, mixing our body heat and suffering the hiss and spark of awareness. “An epidemic over everything that I am. That is what I feel for you. A sickness I can’t find a cure for.”