This Man Confessed

‘Thirsty?’ he watches in astonishment as I make quick work of the second glass, nodding over the rim. ‘Be careful.’ he warns. I’m frowning over the rim, but unable to stop gulping the icy liquid. ‘You might drown the babies.’

I cough a little on a laugh and place my water down to grab a napkin. ‘Will you stop with that?’

‘What? I’m just showing some fatherly concern.’ He looks hurt, but I know better.

‘You don’t think I can look after our babies, do you?’

‘Yes I do.’ he retorts softly, with absolutely zero conviction. He really doesn’t. I’m shocked, and my face probably shows it, even if he’s refusing to meet my eyes so he can see for himself.

‘What the hell do you think I’m going to do?’ I regret the question the second it falls from my mouth, even more so when his head snaps up and I’m hit with a sceptical look. ‘Don’t’ I warn, my voice cracking and tears of regret immediately burning the back of my eyes. I work hard to blink them back, mentally beating myself up for my cold hearted thoughts. I feel terrible enough all on my own, without Jesse enflaming the guilt.

I’m looking anywhere and everywhere, except at Jesse because to look at his face right now will remind me of the dark place I need to forget. I don’t blame him for doubting my capabilities, I’m pretty doubtful myself, but I have him, as he keeps reminding me.

He’s sitting next to me in a heartbeat and pulling me into his side, stroking my back and burying his mouth into hair. ‘I’m sorry. Don’t get upset, please.’

‘I’m okay,’ I brush his concern away. It’s plain to see that I’m not okay, but I can’t lose control of my emotions in the middle of a restaurant for all to see. I’m already being stared at by a woman a few tables away. I’m in no mood for nosey parkers, so I flip her a look before pulling out of Jesse’s chest. ‘I said I’m fine.’ I snap shortly, picking my glass up, just for something to do other than cry.

‘Ava.’ he says quietly, but I can’t look at him. I can’t look into the eyes of the man I love when I know he’ll be showing utter contempt for me. Will he ever let me forget this? ‘Look at me,’ He sounds harsher, firmer now, but I disobey, noticing that bloody woman still staring. I meet her eyes, enhancing my f**k off look, which quickly prompts her to return to her dinner. ‘Three,’

I actually roll my eyes, but not because he’s started the countdown. No, it’s because I know I won’t be getting any Jesse style f**k or trample when he reaches zero.

‘Two,’

It’s like he’s dangling a carrot that I’m never going to get a bite of. Stupid, I know, but the need for Jesse and all of his talent for f**king me into submission has become engrained in me, pregnancy only seeming to enhance my desire for it.

‘One,’

I exhale tiredly and start fiddling with my fork, refusing to submit, probably only shortening his fuse.

‘Zero, baby.’ I’m snatched from my chair before my brain filters the final call of the countdown, and I’m on the floor, wrists pinned above my head and Jesse straddling my waist. My eyes are wide and the restaurant is silent. You could hear a pin drop. I’m staring up at Jesse, who is unashamed and most unconcerned by our surroundings. He’s got me sprawled on the floor in a restaurant. What the f**king hell is he playing at? I dare not even look away from him. I can feel a million sets of shocked eyes drilling into the spectacle Jesse has created. I’m mortified.

‘Jesse, let me up.’ I wouldn’t put much past him, but this? This is way past unashamed. Fucking hell, what if someone tries to pull him off me?

‘I did warn you, baby.’ His face is awash with amusement, while I’m simply horrified. ‘Wherever, whenever.’

‘Yes, okay.’ I wriggle. ‘You’ve made your point.’

‘I don’t think I have.’ he says casually, making himself comfortable, suspending his face over mine. ‘I love you.’

I want the ground to swallow me up whole. Ravishing me and kissing the living daylights out of me on a busy street is one thing. Pinning me to the floor in a busy restaurant is insane. ‘I know, let me up.’

‘No,’

Oh God, I can’t even hear the chinking of knives and forks, which tells me all eating has halted. ‘Please,’ I beg quietly.

‘Tell me you love me.’

‘I love you,’ I grate the words through my teeth.

‘Say it like you mean it, Ava.’ He’s not going to give up, not until I follow through on his stupid, unreasonable order to his satisfaction.

‘I love you.’ I sound softer, but still uneasy.

He eyes me suspiciously, but what the hell does he expect? I’m beyond relieved when he shifts and pulls me to my feet, choosing to remain on his knees in front of me. I take my time straightening myself out, anything to avoid facing the masses of diners, who are undoubtedly looking on in shock. After I’ve spent much more time than is really necessary brushing myself down, I chance a quick look around the restaurant, then proceed to die a thousand deaths on the spot. I’m tempted to run for it, but I notice Jesse still on his knees in front of me.

‘Get up.’ I say on a hushed whisper, despite the obviousness of being heard. It’s still eerily silent.

He walks forward on his knees until he’s flush with the front on my legs, and then slides his hands around to my arse, looking up at me with puppy dog eyes. ‘Ava Ward, my beautiful, defiant girl.’ My face is heating further by the second. ‘You make me the happiest man on this f**king planet. You married me, and now you’re blessing me with twin babies.’ He slips a hand from my arse and onto my tummy, circling adoringly before dropping a kiss in the centre. There’s definitely a few sighs from our spectators. ‘I love you so f**king much. You’re going to be an incredible mummy to my babies.’ I can do nothing more than stare down at him as he makes his public declaration, the embarrassing fool. And there are more sighs. He kisses his way up my body until he’s in my neck. ‘Don’t try to stop me from loving you. It makes me sad.’