This Man Confessed

‘Two weeks?’ he blurts. ‘I’ve been out for two weeks?’

‘Yes, but it felt more like two hundred years.’ I rest my backside on the edge of the bed and take his hand, twirling his wedding band thoughtfully. ‘Don’t ever complain to me about having a long day again.’

‘Okay.’ he agrees. ‘She hasn’t really been sponging me down, has she?’

I smile. ‘No, I have.’

I’m stunned when his eyes sparkle and he pouts playfully. How can he even think about that? ‘So while I was naked and unconscious, you were… fondling me?’

‘No, I was washing you.’

‘And you didn’t have a sneaky touch?’

‘Of course.’ I brace my hands on either side of his head and float my face over his smug one. ‘I needed to lift you limp dick to get to your saggy balls.’ I’m not able to prevent my grin, especially when his eyes widen before narrowing fiercely. This is a man who prides himself on his body and sexual capabilities. I shouldn’t tease him like this.

‘I’m in hell.’ he mutters. ‘Fucking hell on earth. Get me a doctor. I’m going home.’

‘You’re going nowhere.’ I kiss him chastely and leave him brooding and muttering on the bed while I nip to the loo. It’s the first time in weeks, probably my whole life, that I’ve carried out the mundane chore with a huge smile on my face. My heart is beating strongly in my chest. I might even be giving our babies a headache.

When I re-enter his room, the doctor is examining Jesse. I stand quietly to the side while listening to the questions and one word answers that are exchanged between the two men. I make mental notes and watch carefully as the Doctor re-dresses the wound and removes the drains. He’s seems happy with the healing and delighted with Jesse’s alertness. The doctor isn’t so keen to remove Jesse’s catheter, though, and not even a five minute, heated exchange of words between them convinces him.

‘Maybe tomorrow,’ he tries to appease Jesse. ‘We’ll see if you’re up for a little walk about tomorrow. You’ve just come round, Jesse.’

‘What about this, then?’ Jesse indicates the needle in his arm, but the doctor shakes his head and Jesse snorts his disgust.

After seeing through his observations, the Doctor leaves and I settle back in the chair. ‘The more you cooperate, the sooner you’ll be released.’

‘You look tired.’ he says, changing the subject and directing the concern onto me. ‘Are you eating?’

‘Yes,’ My traitor fingers dive into my messy hair, totally giving me away.

‘Ava,’ he moans. ‘Go now and get something to eat.’

‘My mum fed me a salad. I’m not hungry.’

His eyes widen at the mention of my mum. I know what’s coming. ‘What have you told them?’

‘Everything.’ I admit. I blubbered my way through it all while my mum soothed and hushed me. She was quietly tolerant. It was bizarre. ‘Except your four day absence.’

He nods thoughtfully, almost acceptingly. He must know I could never have avoided it. ‘Okay.’ he says quietly. ‘Go and get something to eat.’

‘I’m not hun…’

‘Don’t make me tell you again, lady,’ he snaps. ‘because piss bag or not, I’ll march you down to that f**king restaurant myself and shove some food down your throat!’

I wisely halt all further arguments. I’m really not hungry, but I know he absolutely would, so I drag my tired body from the chair and retrieve the twenty that my dad left for me in Jesse’s bedside cabinet. ‘I’ll get you something, too.’

‘I’m not hungry.’ He doesn’t even look at me. He’s lost in thought. He’s ashamed, but he shouldn’t be. I’m not, so neither should he.

I hide my look of astonishment at his curt reply. I’m not going to argue with him because it will get me absolutely nowhere and only stress him out. I’ll get him something and force feed him if he refuses to eat it.

His mood and my affronted state goes nowhere near to dampening down the elation dancing through me. The presence of his arrogance and challenging ways really is a sign that I have my Jesse back. I wouldn’t have him any other way.

Chapter 34

I’m munching my way through a Dairy Milk as I drag my feet down the hospital corridor. I feel so much better in myself, more alive and awake, but my body isn’t agreeing with my mind. It needs rest.

Rounding the corner that leads back to Jesse’s room, I halt as soon as I see Sarah hovering outside Jesse’s door. She goes to take the handle, but pulls back again, then turns, deciding to leave. She spots me and freezes, looking out of place and awkward. I haven’t seen her here since Jesse was admitted, and I thought she had stayed away, but seeing her now, hanging around the corridor, I realise that she’s probably been here most days. I know if I’d have seen her before now, I might have lashed out in grief, but not now. Not knowing what I know now. I’ll never forgive her for what she’s done, but having learnt of her history, I’d be inhuman if I didn’t feel some compassion for the woman. She lost a child. It’s tragic and she’s put up a hard faced front to protect herself. She wanted Jesse. She saw a reason to unite and sooth each other’s grief, whereas he saw her as a reminder of what he lost because of a poor decision to f**k her. Two suffering souls who used each other in different ways, except Jesse found his salvation elsewhere. And Sarah still wants him to be hers.