This Man

‘Ava?’

I look up, finding Jesse and his frown line studying me. ‘Yes?’

‘Dreaming?’ he asks, his voice laced with concern.

‘Sorry.’ I put my fork down. ‘I was miles away.’

‘You were,’ He takes my plate and slides it onto the coffee table. ‘Where were you?’ He reaches over to pull me into his lap.

I snuggle happily. ‘Nowhere.’

He shifts up the sofa, taking my place in the corner, positioning me under his arm. I rest my cheek on his bare chest, throw my leg over his groin and inhale him in his entire fresh water splendor. I sigh, letting the soft music and the feel of Jesse ease me into a peaceful rest.

‘I love having you here.’ he says quietly, playing with a lock of my hair.

I really love being here too, but not as a puppet. Would it always be like this? I could do exactly this, day in, day out – it’s been a lovely day. But could I live with the controlling, unreasonable side of him? I run my finger along the line of his scar.

‘I love being here too.’ I whisper. I really do, especially when he’s like this.

‘Good. So you’ll stay?’

What? Tonight? ‘Yes. Tell me how you got this.’

He reaches down, clasping my hand to prevent any further touching of the area. ‘Ava, I really don’t like talking about it.’

Oh? ‘I’m sorry.’ I feel bad. That was a plea. Something terrible happened to him, and it makes me feel sick to know that he was hurt in some way.

He pulls my hand up to his face and kisses my palm. ‘Please, don’t be. It’s not something that’s important to the here and now. Dragging up my past serves no purpose other than to remind me of it.’

His past? So, he has a past? Well, everyone has a past, but the way he said it and the fact that we’re talking about a vicious scar here makes me really nervous. I look up at him. ‘What did you mean when you said that things are easier to bear when I’m here?’

He looks down and places his hand on the back of my head, pushing my cheek back down to his chest. ‘It means I like having you around.’ His tone is dismissive. I don’t believe him for a minute, but I leave it anyway. Does it matter?

I push my lips into the void between his pecs, nuzzling into him, while giving myself a mental ticking off. I’m basking in the sun on Central Jesse Cloud Nine, and I’m loving every minute of it, until the need for another countdown or a sense f**k.

And it will come – I have no doubt.

Chapter 35

I wake abruptly and sit up in bed. I feel refreshed, revitalised and rested. This bed is way too comfortable. Getting back in mine after a few nights here is going to be a bit of a come down. The only thing that’s missing is Jesse.

I peek under the covers, finding I’m still in my underwear, but the shirt has been removed. I don’t remember coming to bed. I sit quietly for a few moments, listening to a constant whirring sound, accompanied by a consistent thud, thud, thud in the distance.

What is that?

I make the long journey to the edge of the bed and out onto the landing, where the sounds are slightly louder but still muffled. I scan the space below, seeing no sign of Jesse.

Deciding he must be in the kitchen, I make my way down the stairs, but as I approach the archway into the kitchen, I stop and back track. I look through the glass door to the gym, set on an angle just before the kitchen, and see Jesse in a pair of running shorts, going hell for leather on the treadmill. Well, that explains the strange distant noise. I watch him running with his back to me, his solid expanse of skin shimmering with sweat beads as he watches the sports news on the suspended T.V in front of him.

I leave him be. I’ve already disturbed one run. I make my way into the kitchen to fill the kettle and go about making myself a coffee. It’s not Starbucks, but it’ll do.

The familiar sound of my phones ring tone fills the room, and I look across the kitchen to see it charging on the worktop. I scoop it up and disconnect it from the charger. It’s my mother. I’m promptly reminded of her call to me yesterday – the one that I’ve not yet returned and really, really don’t want to. My wide awake, good mood is instantly drowned out.

‘Hi, Mum.’ I greet cheerfully, screwing my face up in apprehension. Here come the twenty questions.

‘Oh, you’re alive. Joseph, cancel the search party. I’ve found her!’

I roll my eyes at my mum’s idea of funny. Obviously, she was expecting a call back before now. ‘Point taken. What did Matt want?’

‘I have no idea. The man never called us once when you were together. He asked how we were, made small talk, you know. It was all very strange. Why is he calling us, Ava?’

‘I don’t know, Mum.’ I moan tiredly, but I suspect I do. He’s on a worming mission.

‘He mentioned another man.’

‘He did?’ My tone is high pitched, a complete give away to my surprise and probably my guilt too. Damn you, Jesse Ward, for intercepting my phone. It would have been easier to brush off Matt’s tales if I didn’t have to explain about the mystery man who answered my phone yesterday.

‘Yes, he said you were seeing someone else. So soon, Ava. Really?’

‘Mum, I’m not seeing someone else.’ I do a quick check over my shoulder to make sure I’m still alone. I’m doing more than seeing someone. I’m in love with someone.

‘Who was that man who answered your phone?’

‘I told you, just a friend.’ Please drop it!

‘Good. You’re in your mid-twenties, in London Town and fresh out of a shitty relationship. Don’t be falling into the arms of the first man that shows you a bit of attention.’