Thrill Me

It was dark outside. Lamps illuminated the room, but not the shadows beyond.

“I didn’t want you to worry,” Elaine said stubbornly.

“That’s no excuse.”

“Mom, we had the right to know,” Aidan told her.

“Did you? It was my illness, not yours. There’s nothing you could have done.”

“We could have been there for you.”

Which Maya had been, Del thought bitterly. No doubt she’d been at her friend’s side the whole time. He didn’t get it. How could she have kept that a secret from him? He’d trusted her. Hell, he’d wanted a future with her. They’d been planning to work together. He’d thought they’d shared a dream.

He should have known, he told himself. She’d lied to him once—of course she would do it again.

“I’m not going to accept blame in any of this,” his mother said firmly. “It was my decision to make. This family runs on secrets and this is simply one more of them. I had cancer, I’ve had treatment and I’m fine. Tired, but fine.”

Del remembered how she’d looked when he’d first come back to town. She’d been pale and drawn, he remembered. He’d asked her about it and she’d claimed it was nothing more than “the change.” But it hadn’t been menopause at all—it had been cancer.

“Mom,” Nick said, “I don’t get why you wouldn’t tell us. We love you. We would have been there for you.”

“You couldn’t have handled it. Not any of you.” She turned to Del. “You barely come home every other year. What are you running from?” She spun to Aidan. “There’s a reason you can’t date a girl longer than three days. What is it?” Nick came next. “You’re hiding what matters most to you because you want to spite your father. That’s mature.”

Her gaze swung to Ceallach. “You’re worst of all. You care about your art. After all these years, I know the rules. Don’t distract the master. Maybe I flatter myself, but I assumed you finding out I had cancer might serve as a distraction. So I didn’t say anything. Now you know. Does it honest to God make a difference?”

The room fell silent. Del figured they were all dealing with the uncomfortable truths she’d exposed.

Ceallach spoke first. “I thought you’d left me.”

His mother sighed. “Now why would I do that? I love you. I always have.”

“I’m not an easy man.” His voice was gruff. “I thought maybe you’d found one who was.”

Elaine’s eyebrows rose, as did her voice. “You thought I was having an affair?”

Ceallach sighed. “Yes. To pay me back for mine.”

Del swung his head to stare at his father. Nick and Aidan did the same. Their mother sprang to her feet.

“Don’t you dare tell them.”

“It’s time, my love. They have to know.” Ceallach looked at each of them. “Nearly thirty years ago, I had a mistress.”

Del hadn’t thought he could feel the same level of shock again, but here it was—hitting him like a two-by-four. He glanced at his mother, who had returned to her chair. She watched her husband with a combination of frustration and affection.

“The relationship didn’t last,” Ceallach was saying. “I came to my senses and returned to my wonderful wife. But a few months later, we heard from the woman. There’d been a child. Ronan and Mathias aren’t twins. Ronan is the result of my affair.”

Nick swore. Aidan started to stand, then sank back on the couch. Del managed to speak.

“Ronan isn’t yours?” he asked his mother.

“Of course he’s mine, in every way but one.” She pressed her lips together. “I can’t believe you told them like that. We’d agreed no one ever needed to know.” She squared her shoulders. “When that woman told us she was pregnant, she said she wanted to give up the baby. We couldn’t have that. I was already pregnant with Mathias, so it made sense to take in Ronan, too. He was born only a few weeks after Mathias. You three were so young. We told you that he had to stay in the hospital awhile, and that was that.”

Del had no memory of any of that. He’d been all of three or four, so the lack of detail made sense, but shit.

Nick and Aidan looked as shocked as he felt. How could they just now be learning all this?

“You never thought to tell us?” Del asked, even as he knew the answer.

His mother’s expression was stern. “Ronan is your brother in every way that matters. We didn’t want you treating him differently.”

“What about his birth mother?” Aidan asked. “Is she still alive?”

“Sadly, no,” Ceallach murmured.

Del involuntarily winced even as his mother turned on her husband.

“Sadly? What does that mean? You miss her?”

“Elaine, you know that’s not true. What Candy and I had all those years ago was nothing.”

“Candy?” Nick murmured. “Her name was Candy?”

Del shook his head. The other woman’s name was the least of what was going on. In the past hour he’d learned that his mother had been dealing with breast cancer, the woman he trusted and was hoping to work with around the world had once again lied to him, his father had had an affair that had resulted in a child and that child had been passed off as their mother’s son.

“Do they know?” he asked. “Ronan and Mathias. Did you tell them?”