“Can you pay for these, too? I don’t have my purse with me.” She dropped the price tag of the flip-flops and a bottle of water onto the counter, giving me a pointed look. “I’ll pay you back.”

I knew she’d pay me back. She was generous that way.

“I don’t want your money. Call it a gift.”

She shook her head. “No, it’s fine.”

How was she supposed to know buying her something—even something as simple as shoes and a drink—gave me more fucking pleasure than I’d had in years?

I wouldn’t let her take that pleasure away from me.

I nodded, allowing her to think she’d won, not trusting my voice. Not trusting my body when she was around.

Every inch of me craved to grab her and just hold her. I didn’t need to fuck her to feel close to her. I didn’t need to kiss her to feel the supernova sensation I already drowned in.

Smiling at the attendant, Elle took her bottle of water and padded out of the station in her new shoes. I watched her go, drinking in the sight of her toned legs and the way the blazer skimmed beneath her ass.

The cashier cleared his throat. “You’ll have to swipe your card again. I’ve put the new amount in.”

It hurt to trade the vision of her with him, but I did and paid the eight dollars she’d cost me before pocketing the receipt and leaving the store.

Elle had already climbed into the passenger seat, sipping on her water.

The way her throat moved.

The way her hair fell over her shoulder.

Goddammit, I needed to get myself under control so I could have a civilized conversation with this woman. Knowing Greg had touched her—kissed her—caused a dominating urge to crawl through me. I had to replace the last man who’d had his hands on her with me.

But what was the point?

She’s going to leave the moment she knows anyway.

Then there’d be other men. Men much better than me in every way.

Hiding my sigh, I yanked open the Merc’s door and slid behind the wheel.

I needed to let her go once I’d found a pair of balls big enough to tell her who I was. But sitting with her in the small space, inhaling her smell, wishing I hadn’t been such an asshole...it hurt.

She wasn’t wearing perfume but her natural scent alone was enough to make me rock fucking hard and going out of my goddamn mind.

Turning the key and throwing the Merc into gear, I revved the engine and rejoined traffic.

Glancing at her, I said, “Are you going to be silent the rest of the drive or are you going to talk—”

She held up her hand, taking another sip of water before screwing the cap on. “Not a word, Penn. Not one word until you can give me your undivided concentration.”

“I can talk and drive at the same time.”

“But can you tell the truth and look me in the eye?” A droplet lingered on her lower lip, making me suffer with the desire to wrench her close and kiss her so fucking hard she only felt lust, not anger.

But I kept my hands to myself—just like I promised and fell silent.

She wanted to wait?

Fine.

I would wait.

The next few hours would give me time to formulate how best to tell her everything that’d happened to me, everything I was, and everything I would never be.

And I hoped to fucking God she didn’t walk out the door the moment I’d finished and refused to see me again.

* * * * *

The drive that’d taken me all night and most of the day to find Elle only took a few hours in the opposite direction. Mainly streamlined by knowing the address and direction and going a more direct route.

New York glittered on the horizon, welcoming me back with hardship, promise, destitution, and wealth. I’d lived on two extremes. Poor and rich. Lost and found. Safe and scared. Most of the time, my new world was a thousand times better than my old one.

But that was before Elle.

Before I fucked everything up.

Pulling into the parking space attached to my apartment block, I turned off the engine and gripped the steering wheel with all the frustration and regret I couldn’t show. Emotions I couldn’t let her see if I was going to be honest tonight.

She had to think I had no shame. That I had accepted the consequences and wouldn’t beg like a pussy for forgiveness.

The sun had gone down.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d slept, and I doubted Elle had managed any either.

She’d been kidnapped and mentally tortured. If she wasn’t so damn strong, I would’ve expected her to cry and nap the entire journey home.

But she hadn’t.

She’d watched the view but never relaxed. Not once. Then again, neither had I.

Fuck, I really should’ve driven to her apartment and allowed her to take a shower, have some painkillers for her black eye, and rest before I dumped this shit on her.

I wasn’t any better than Greg was by holding her hostage at my place.

However, Elle didn’t seem to care. Climbing out, her pink flip-flops smacked the pavement in the direction of the front entrance. She hadn’t waited for me to hold her door. She didn’t need my help in any way.

I followed, making sure to lock the Merc, glowering at the tire marks on the street from the night I’d peeled after her when that bastard jumped her.

I knew his situation was a shitty one. I understood his pain.

But that didn’t give him the right to touch what was mine.

I’d thought sleeping with her wouldn’t change my steadfast plan to taste her and then move on. That was why I’d kicked her from my place only moments after being inside her. I needed space to clear my head and school my stupid fucking heart.