“It’s always been Penn.”

Does that answer your question? See me. See who I am.

It would be so easy to come out and tell her. To wrap my lips around the words and reveal my secret. But just as I hated her three years ago, I hated her now for doubting. If what’d happened that night was real she shouldn’t have to ask.

She should know.

Just like I knew.

She should hurt as much as I did.

I’ll show her.

The ridiculous idea popped into my head. Wrapping my fingers around her throat, I marched her backward toward the kitchen wall. She stumbled, her hand coming up to fight against my hold. “Let—let me go.”

I didn’t stop, not when she tripped and I had to pluck her feet from the floor and hoist her into my arms, not when she kicked my shins as I crashed her against the wall, and not when I grabbed her chin, held her firm, and kissed her like she ought to have been fucking kissed for the past three years.

She was a virgin.

She’d waited.

I liked to think she’d waited for me. That her body had always been mine just like her heart. But I was in the habit of lying to others, not to myself, so I wouldn’t believe such fantasy.

Her tongue tangled with mine. Her breath feeding my lungs as I devoured her.

Her sharp moan made me pull back. Panting hard, I murmured, “I was there. I’ll tell you even though you already know. I’m—”

A fist hammered on my door. “Police. Open up.”

Elle froze in my arms.

My muscles atrophied in horror.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

I thought I’d have more time.

I thought I’d tell her. Explain why I’d acted the way I had, and then either win the lottery by having her forgive me or drive her home, so I knew she was safe.

It’s too soon.

I haven’t finished.

I knew they’d come for me. It was a risk I’d been willing to take. A chance I had to take to save her. But not so soon. Not before I could fix what I’d ruined.

“Elle, I’m—”

Her eyes flared wide as the pounding came again. “Penn Everett, open this door. Immediately.”

“Fuck.” I raked a hand through my hair, stepping away from Elle, seeing all my dreams and wishes evaporate into dust.

Elle slipped back onto her toes, smashing a hand over her mouth. “Oh, my God.”

I didn’t know if her sudden profanity was at our interruption or my roundabout confession. Her face shot white. Her eyes searching for something real, something she could latch onto and find—

“We know you’re in there. Open up!” the police barked, destroying everything—just like they’d destroyed the first night we met. Just like they destroyed my entire fucking life before I ever found Elle in that alley.

My gaze danced around my apartment, looking for something, anything, that I could use against what was about to happen.

But I was at a loss.

All because I’d let the violence in my blood carry me away.

My shoulders sank with depression. There was no getting around this. Unfortunately, this time, I deserved what would happen.

Larry is gonna be so pissed.

Swallowing hard, I glanced one last time at Elle and stalked to the front door. I opened it just as an officer raised his hand to thump again. “It’s open. Calm the fuck down.”

One moment, I was a free man standing in my own apartment trying to repair the damage with a girl I would never admit to caring for.

The next, I was a prisoner held between two officers, brute force yanking my arms back even when I offered no retaliation.

“Penn Everett, you’re under arrest.”

I laughed.

It was the only fucking thing I could do.

That night.

That field.

That kiss.

Elle lost her shock, dashing forward and hanging on the arm of the officer who snapped the metal restraints over my wrists. “Wait, you can’t do this.”

A female rookie with a fresh uniform, polished buttons, and a never-been-used weapon stepped forward and pulled her back. “Ma’am, don’t touch the arresting officer.”

Elle whirled on her. “Don’t touch him? Well, tell him not to touch him.” She pointed at me, her hand shaking. “We’re not done. I need to talk to him.”

“He’s done.” The officer who caught me grinned with smugness. His ginger hair prickled like a hedgehog with his buzz cut. “Guess you’re going home, huh?”

I glowered.

Elle shook her head. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

The officer replied, “It means I’ve followed his record, and it was only a matter of time until he slipped again. They always do.” He chuckled, motioning to the rookie to grab an elbow and march me toward the door.

I went with them. I offered no resistance.

Things would only get worse if I did.

“Wait. You can’t do this. Release him.” Elle stayed by my side, fighting all over again for me.

Does she remember that night?

Did she remember the way she begged for my freedom in the park? The way she’d run as hard as she could and offered herself as a sacrifice when she couldn’t run anymore? The way she’d kissed me breathless and frantic in the bushes while I waited for the police to take me because I didn’t want her to hurt or fear anymore?

I’d fallen for her for that.

I’d fallen so fucking hard in only a heartbeat. She’d been the only good thing in my world. The only light after so much darkness. How could I control my free fall when she treated me with such kindness? When she’d kissed me. When she’d trusted me. When she’d given me half the chocolate bar I’d stolen from the convenience store only an hour before meeting her?