Torn

"You could say that."

It takes us an hour to load the dogs up into the transport cages and into the back of my truck. Three of the dogs are in bad shape with fresh open wounds and ripped, oozing ears. The puppies are young, maybe eight weeks old, kept in the basement on the cold blood-stained floor but still wagging their tails. The bait dogs are assorted breeds, timid and shaking, and were most likely strays or picked up on Craigslist ads from 'free to good home' offers. Luckily, the puppies are young enough where they'll forget the horrors they must have witnessed the first few weeks of their lives, but the bait dogs will need rehabilitation.

On our way out, we take the pretty fawn pittie that was in the living room because I don't trust that asshole with any dog, pet or otherwise. Once an abuser, always an abuser.

My mother and a local vet who volunteers for situations like this are waiting for us when we arrive at the shelter to triage the dogs that need medical attention first. While they're doing that, we bring the other dogs to the quarantine area and set them up in their kennels with fresh food, water, and beds. Most of them seem pretty friendly, which is a good sign they'll be able to be put in foster homes and retrained. My guess is the guy who had these dogs was new to this sick hobby and hadn't had them for very long. I pet each dog softly on the head before we leave. It's a new beginning for them, and I always feel like a small part of my soul goes with each one.

My father used to tell us to try to make a difference in someone's life every day. Even if it's only to make them smile. Today, I made a difference. It was just for a bunch of dogs, but it still counts.

After dropping Tanner and Sled back off at the shop I decide to take the rest of the day off to unwind and get some sleep. Lisa calls my cell just as I'm turning down my street. She has the uncanny ability to always call me when I don't want to talk to anyone.

"Yeah?" I say into my phone, not doing much to hide my irritation.

"Hey. You didn't answer your phone earlier so I called the shop and they said you went home."

"We took fighting dogs out of some guy’s place this morning. I'm in a shit mood so I just wanted to go home and sleep it off."

"Isn't that something the cops should be doing?"

My teeth grind together. "We have an arrangement. We go in first."

"Oh. Do you think you'll be in a better mood tonight?"

"Maybe," Let me check my crystal ball first. "Why?"

"I was thinking we could meet at the bar, maybe play some pool? I'll be there with one of my girlfriends and thought it would be nice if you hung out with us."

Lisa either wants to show me off or let her friend psycho-analyze me. Neither of those options sit well with me but I feel like seeing Lisa will be a good distraction after the weirdness of last night so I relent and agree.

"Alright. I have to load my feeding traps but after that I can stop by. First I'm going home to shower and nap."

"Great. I can't wait to see you."

I wish I felt that way too, but I don't. Lisa seems to want something I can't give her, although I've yet to figure out what that actually is, and I'm starting to wonder if even she knows. Story of my life. After spending almost twelve years of my life back and forth with Sydni, I'm in no rush to get seriously involved or becoming another second best to someone. I'm totally fucking done with that bullshit.

My stereo system is blasting when I walk through the back door, and Kenzi is pushing the vacuum across the floor, dancing, completely oblivious that I'm even in the house. I watch her in amusement for a few minutes before she finally sees me and jumps about a foot in the air.

"Tor!" she turns off the vacuum. "You scared the hell out of me."

"Aren't you supposed to be napping?"

"I couldn't sleep. And I felt bad for making you drive around last night so I wanted to make it up to you by cleaning."

Shaking my head, I cross the kitchen to the sink and remove my sterling silver rings, revealing my bloody knuckles underneath. I douse my hand with dish soap, wincing at the sting, and rinse with warm water.

"What happened?" she's next to me now, peering into the sink at my hand, and then up at my face. "You're bleeding. And you have a cut on your head," she lightly touches my forehead.

"I hit the guy with the dogs."

She pulls about two feet of paper towel off the roll and hands it to me. "The dog fighting guy?"

"Yeah. We got the dogs, though. That's all that matters."

She crosses her arms and leans her hip against the counter, and I'm relieved to see she's got shorts on under my t-shirt now. "I thought you weren't going to hit people anymore after your stint in the clink?"

I glare at her. "Drop it. He deserved it."

Ignoring me, she grabs my hand and inspects it. "You should put some antibiotic cream on this."

"I will."

"Want me to kiss it better like you used to do for me?" she teases.

Fuck, yes.

Pulling my hand out of hers, I bite my tongue to make sure my thoughts don't escape out of my mouth.

"Did you text or call your dad?" I ask, changing the subject. "I'm sure he's wondering how your night went."

"Yes. I told him the prom was boring and that I was at your house cleaning and making you dinner. Jason had the nerve to text me, do you believe that?"

My old friend anger has returned. "What the hell did he say?" She follows me down the hall to the bathroom and watches me put ointment on my hand.

"He said he was sorry for being a douche."

"He fucking should be."

She chews her lip. "Chloe told me that Julie told her that while Jason was still drunk last night, he was telling everyone at the party that my porn star body was wasted on a prude like me and I was a big tease. I'm afraid everyone is talking about me now. So his apology doesn't mean much."

Porn star body? That's it. Jason is going to eat my fist.

"Kenzi, he's an asshole punk who's pissed because he didn't get laid. I bet everyone at the party was equally wasted. No one will even remember this in a few days."

Her blinking watery eyes crush my heart. "I hate that people might be saying bad things about me. I don't bother anyone, I'm nice to everyone. I just stay in my own little bubble. And they always find something to start with me about. First Dad's band, then my mom, then having money, being too quiet, and now this. I can't wait to graduate and get away from all of them."

I stick a bandage over my knuckle, wishing I could put one on what's hurting her, too. "They're immature and jealous, Kenzi. Unfortunately, it won't change much as you get older. There's always going to be people who will treat us badly because they're jealous or just unhappy with their own damn lives. You have to rise above it and do your best to ignore them and focus on your own life and happiness," she gives me a sad little nod. "You're a beautiful girl, Angel. You're smart and you have a great personality. You have an awesome family that loves you, you have Chloe, and you're getting a huge inheritance when you turn twenty-five. You can do whatever you want with your life. You're going to be just fine, trust me."

"What about you?"

I frown at her. "What about me?"

She runs her finger along the edge of the sink, her eyes following it intently. "You said I have my family and Chloe, but you didn't mention you."

"Oh," I rub the back of my neck, unsure of what to say. "I'll always be here for you. But you're getting older now. I'm sure you'll have a boyfriend soon that isn't a dickhead. You'll be doing your modeling and calligraphy and chasing after all your dreams, making new friends...all that stuff. You're not going to be wanting to be hanging around with an old boring guy like me."

"You're not boring, Tor."

"I promised your dad I'd look out for you when your mom had the accident. You won't be needing me around much anymore."

"Oh...I guess you're right."

I ruffle her hair and step out of the bathroom, uncomfortable with the feelings I'm having over not spending as much time with her in the future. Why should it matter? She's just my best friend's kid that I helped take care of.

In my bedroom, I pull off my shirt and toss it at the laundry basket in the corner, and I'm surprised when I turn around to see her standing in the doorway, still with a sad, worried expression in her eyes.

"Don't worry about the idiots at school, Kenzi. Just ignore them. What's left, like two weeks of school?"

"That's not what I'm thinking about." She watches me pull clean clothes out of my dresser and lay them out on my bed.

"Then what's wrong?"

"I never imagined there would be a time when I would see you less. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too, but you can see me anytime you want, or call me. You know where to find me."

"I hope so," She sniffles. "I talked to your mom about continuing to volunteer at the shelter, too. She said she would love it. And I want to keep helping you with your rescues, if you still want me to."

"Of course I do. Fuck, you can still clean my house after you graduate if you want to, and I'll still pay you. Nothing has to change, Kenzi. I just figured you'd be moving on, wanting to do different things with your life and not hanging around with me all the time."

"I like hanging around with you." The soft tone of her voice, and the way her eyes are roving over my chest is making me feel like all the air has been sucked out of my lungs. My house suddenly feels insanely small and lacking oxygen.

"Then you can. Anytime," I refuse to let my eyes lock with hers. I don't want to see what's there, or what might not be there.

"Good."

"Actually there was something else I wanted to ask you but I was going to talk to Ash about it first. But since we're already talking, I'll just ask you directly. The girl who works the front register at the shop and greets our customers and books appointments is leaving in September."