Torn

The boys resume drinking once we hit the road, and Chloe joins them. I decline when Jason offers the bottle to me. Smiling, he pulls me against his chest. "You don't have to be a good girl all the time, Kenzi." He whispers, his lips against my ear.

I know I don't have to be, but I want to be. Why is being good considered bad? Just a few hours ago half my family stood in my living room, proud of me and happy for me, telling me how beautiful I looked, and how handsome Jason was. They thought they were sending me off to experience one of the happiest nights of my teen life. I feel ashamed that now I'm on my way to a hotel, about to lose my virginity to a drunk guy who probably won't even remember me by the end of the summer. My mother would be incredibly disappointed.

I feel sick and trapped, and not excited in any way about what's to come.

When we reach the hotel, Jason and Brendan go to the office to check us in while Chloe and I wait outside. I watch the limo pull away, wishing I had asked the driver to take me home. Now my ride is gone, and I have no way to get home until tomorrow.

"I feel kinda sick," Chloe says, grabbing onto my arm.

"Are you okay?" Under the parking lot lights, she looks like a mess. The makeup she paid someone a hundred dollars earlier today to apply is smeared, and her perfect updo is now very much down. The bodice of her black dress is stretched from Brendan's groping. I want to drag my best friend out of here, take her home, and scrub her face.

"I think I'm gonna be si-" she turns towards the bushes and vomits.

Ugh.

The guys join us a few minutes later and laugh at Chloe, who's bent over in the bushes, but immediately vaults herself into Brendan's arms when she's done. I have an immense urge to shove a piece of minty gum into her mouth as they lean into each other for a kiss.

"You two have fun," she drawls as Brendan leads her away to their room.

Jason grabs our duffel bags and eyes me suggestively. "Well, at least you're not puking in the parking lot," he jokes. "Let's go find our room and get this party started."

Our room is just like any other hotel room, with the usual stiff bed, ugly orange comforter and generic pictures on the walls. I've been in literally hundreds of these rooms over the years with my parents. I make a beeline for the bathroom, which always seems to be in the same place. I blot my face, fix my hair, and rinse my mouth with the tiny bottle of mouthwash provided by the hotel.

Calm down. I tell my reflection. Stop being a loser prude. Relax, have fun and get this milestone out of the way. Stop being the class weirdo.

I open the door, prepared to attempt to have some fun, to find Jason right outside.

"Hey. I was just going to ask if you were coming out." His blue eyes are glazed, his tone slightly slurred. He doesn't move from the doorway to let me by. Instead, his gaze drifts down to my chest before he leans in to kiss me, his hands circling my waist, pulling me against him.

"You're so fuckin' hot, Kenzi..." His hands move down my body to paw my ass through the thin material of my dress.

"Jason..." I try to squirm from his touch but he backs me up against the sink, his lips coming down hard on mine again.

"I've been waiting weeks to get you like this..." His hands slide up and squeeze my breasts, his fingers pulling the delicate fabric aside. "God, your tits are fucking amazing..."

His head bows down to dive into my cleavage and I take that as an opportunity to grab his hands and push him away.

"I'm sorry...can we kinda slow down...?" My heart rate picks up speed, but not from desire. I'm panicking, not sure how to get away from him. The way he's touching me is making me feel dirty and scared.

His hand snakes around my neck and a grin flashes across his face. "I'll go as slow as you want, baby." He kisses me again and the taste of alcohol on him makes me queasy. "You've got the body of a fuckin' porn star, Kenzi." His hands are everywhere, on my ass, on my breasts, trying to pull my dress up my thighs.

"What?" I try to pull away from him, feeling my face flush. I don't even know what he's talking about but it doesn't sound like a compliment I want.

"This ass and these huge tits," he nips at my neck. "All these fucking curves," he slides his hands from my breasts down to my ass, then brings one hand between us, shoving it between my legs, bunching the fabric of my dress up against me. "All the guys want to fuck you, and half the girls, too. You're hot as fucking hell."

Disgusted, I push him off me, and he stumbles, feeling the effects of the alcohol. "Stop. I don't want to do this."

He comes back at me. "No, no, no. We're not playing this game anymore, Kenzi. For weeks you've been teasing me and I can't take anymore." He tries to kiss me again, but I duck away from him and slam my hands into his chest.

"Jason, stop. I mean it."

His eyes go dark. "What the fuck? You think I paid all this money for this room so we can sit here and talk?"

I bite back tears. "I'm sorry. I'll give you the money for the room."

"You think your little rich spoiled ass is too good to be fucked by me?"

"No, not at all," I swallow hard, his anger feeding my fear. "I'm just not ready for this."

He sneers at me. "Not ready? Your body was made to get fucked, Kenzi. The faster you accept it, the better off we'll be. Now shut up and let's have some fun."

"Fuck you, Jason. You're a drunk asshole."

I push past him and get myself out of the tiny bathroom, but he follows me, grabbing my arm and spinning me around. "Come on, Kenzi. Stop being a cock tease."

"I'm not trying to be one!"

"Why the hell do you think you're here?" He slams his fist against the wall.

"I didn't agree to be here with you, Jason. This was Chloe's idea, not mine. Why are you acting like this? I'll give you your money back, I just want to go home."

His lip actually curls at me. "Fuck off, Kenzi. I'm outta here. There's plenty of chicks here that aren't stuck up bitches. Too bad your body's wasted on such a cold stupid bitch." He storms out of the room, slamming the door hard behind him.

Deep breaths aren't doing much to calm me. No one’s ever talked to me like that before or said such ugly things to me. Sitting on the bed, I try to gather my wits. I could lock the door and stay here 'til morning, tell Chloe what happened, and get a ride home. But what if Jason comes back? He still has his room key. I can't sleep in this room knowing he could come back in at any time.

I pick up my bag and head for the lobby, trying to figure out where I can go. I could call a cab, but they'll have to bring me home and then my dad will know something went wrong. One look at me and he'll know, and I can't do that to him now when he's right in the midst of working on a new album. If I get him all distracted with my drama, it will interfere with his creativity because he'll immediately feel like he has to do something to fix this for me. I refuse to do that to him.

Rayne would come get me, but she'll want to track Jason down and tell him off and make a big crazy scene.

There's only one other person I know who will come get me in the middle of the night without question.

I count to ten and press his contact image on my phone screen, and it rings four times before he answers.

"Kenzi?"

"Hi..."

"What's up? You okay?"

"Yeah...I just kinda need a ride. Do you think you can come get me? Are you busy?"

"You know I will. I just got home. Where are you?"

I clutch the phone, knowing he's going to blow a gasket. "At the Blue Robin down at Hampton Beach."

"A fucking hotel? I thought you were spending the night at Chloe's?"

"That's what I told my father."

"Kenzi..." Disappointment laces his voice.

"Tor, come on. Please don't make this harder."

His keys jingle in the background, then the distinct sound of his front door opening and closing. "I'm on my way. It's gonna take me about an hour to get there, though. Are you okay? You're not hurt or anything?"

"No, I'm fine. Just humiliated."

"That's fixable. Are you in a room?"

"No, I left the room to get away from Jason"

"Then stay in the lobby, okay? Don't be wandering around in the dark by yourself. The beach can get weird at night. The last thing we need is you getting picked up by a sex trafficker."

"What? What the hell, Tor?" Sex trafficker? As if I wasn't nervous enough already, now I have to sit here and worry about being thrown into the back of a van and sold to someone.

"Just stay in the lobby."

After we get off the phone I huddle in the corner of the lobby with a magazine hoping the manager doesn't come and kick me out or make me go back to the room. The last thing I want is another run-in with Jason.

Tor's truck pulls into the parking lot of the hotel a little over an hour later. I'm so glad to see him that I don't make any of my usual funny comments about him being late. He looks me up and down when I climb into his truck but doesn't say anything until after we've been driving for about ten minutes.

"I'll fuck that kid up if he did anything to hurt you, Kenz," he finally says, his hand tightening on the steering wheel, his eyes not leaving the road.

"He didn't hurt me. He was drinking all night, and I didn't want to put out. He got mad, we argued a little bit, and then he left to go to a party in someone else's room. I didn't want to be there alone after that."

"Put out?" he practically spits the words. "Jesus Christ. I can't stand hearing that shit come out of your mouth. It's fucking degrading."

"Well, what do you want me to say? That I wouldn't sleep with him? Is that better?"

"No."

"He called me a cock tease, too. I never even once hinted that I wanted to have sex with him. I haven't teased him at all."