Transcend

“Just … come home. I want to play house with you.”

Griffin chuckles. “Play house, huh?”

“Yes. I’ll cook. You clean. I’ll do the laundry—”

“I’ll do the laundry.”

“That’s what I meant. You’ll do the laundry and clean. Well … let’s be honest. You’ll do most of the cooking as well.”

“Sounds like what I’ve been doing. How do you fit into the equation?”

“I’ll watch you work. Drool. Distract you with my body. Lick you up and down. Just … stuff like that.”

He clears the frog from his throat. “This could work.”

“I think so too.”

“Go to sleep, Swayz. I have dirty dreams to have about you before the sun comes up.”

“I love you. Don’t die, or I’ll kill you. Okay?”

“I’ll see what I can do. Love you too.”

He ends the call, and once again, I hold the phone to my ear just a bit longer, until I fall asleep. I want to dream of us, but I don’t. Hours later I awake to a crying baby and a line of sweat along my brow. I dreamed of Nate, not Daisy’s Nate or Morgan’s daddy. I dreamed of the photo Nate.

Young.

Hot.

Sexy Nate in the photo that’s still under the pillow.

I bolt to the nursery as if Morgan’s life depends on it, but in reality, I’m running from the dream—the one where I was having sex with twenty-something Nate.

What. The. Fuck?

“Good morning, sweet baby.” I hug her to me. “Are you hungry? Or did you have a bad dream? Bad dreams are going around.”

Dreadful dreams.

Inappropriate dreams.

“We should get you a dream catcher. Maybe we both need one.” I change her diaper and mix up her bottle of formula.

Griffin is my world. A living fantasy. The winning lottery ticket. I need more scans of my brain. Something is wrong with me. I should never ever have sex dreams starring any other man than Griffin Calloway.

I didn’t steal the photo to fantasize about Nate. I took it to feed my curiosity and maybe find a spark of recognition that could piece this craziness together.

My phone chimes as I settle in the recliner to give Morgan her bottle.

Professor: Made it to the hotel. Give Morgan a good-morning kiss from me. Message me if you need anything. Try to keep it PG and professional. ; )

“Oh for the love of …” I shake my head. He’s all guy. I will forever be the nanny who sends blowjob texts by accident to her employer—and then has sex dreams about him.

Swayze: My mom is coming to have dinner with me and Morgan. I have to be on my best behavior. So don’t sweat it.

Professor: Don’t forget to show her the silver wrapper with blue writing.

Swayze: If you weren’t my employer, I would say something snarky.

Professor: I’m waiting in a mile-long line for coffee outside of the conference room. Humor me. What would you say if I weren’t your employer?

I grin. He’s good at baiting me. I shouldn’t take the bait. But …

Swayze: How’s your tie? If anyone compliments you on it, don’t forget to tell them your 21 yr. old nanny tied it for you.

Professor: Low blow

Swayze: Low blow would be the old man shoes you packed. Where did you get those? An orthotics store?

Professor: Lies. All lies. My students think I’m the coolest professor on campus.

I don’t doubt it. Professor Hunt is the teacher all the girls want to screw. Good thing I’m not his student. I only fuck him in my dreams.

I cringe. My stupid brain won’t let that go. He has a blowjob text. I have a sex dream. We’re even, only he doesn’t know it. And he never will.

Swayze: I remember what you looked like with zits. Not the coolest.

Professor: Two. Three zits tops. Your memory is not the greatest.

Swayze: Go be smart. I get to play with the world’s cutest baby. She loves me. Be jealous.

Professor: Incredibly envious of both of you. Have fun!

“Both?”

Morgan kicks and tugs at the nipple, a grin sneaking up her face.

“Why is your daddy envious of you?” I tickle her feet. “Because you get to spend the day with me? That’s crazy.”

It is. Right? I wish I could control my mind, but I can’t. It’s skipping backwards to this morning’s dream.

Stop thinking about that dream!

How did my mind go from Griffin dying to sex with twenty-something Nate? I force my thoughts into all things baby: dirty diapers, spit up, tummy time, stroller walks, naps. Over the next seven hours we do it all. With each passing hour, I become more attached to this little girl. I feel like her mom. It’s not right. I’m not her mom. I never will be her mom. But I’m the mother figure raising her at the moment.

If Nate finds love again, that new person in their lives will not have rocked Morgan to sleep, comforted her during fevers, insisted that her dad hold her more, or made her giggle for the first time. Those are my moments.

I’m not in love with Nate, in spite of my dreams, but I’m in love with Morgan. She doesn’t make me want to have a baby, she makes me want her.

“My mom’s here!” I nuzzle Morgan’s neck, eliciting giggles as I carry her to the door. “Oh … wow … what’s this all about?” My jaw drops.

My mom smiles, so does Sherri, Chloe, Hayley, and Sophie.

“Surprise!” Sophie throws her arms up in the air.

“It’s a huge surprise.” I step back and gesture for them to come inside.

“A little birdie told us you could use lots of company…” Sherri wraps an arm around me for a side hug “…and lots of hugs.”

“Gimme, gimme, gimme.” My mom kisses me on the cheek then steals Morgan. “She’s adorable.”

Chloe, Hayley, and Sophie give me a group hug.

Griffin. He did this. I blink back my emotions. This makes me love him even more and miss him. God … I miss him so much already.

“I can’t believe you’re all here … on a Saturday night. Hayley, you’re giving me a prime night.” I loop my arm around hers and lead everyone to the great room. “I’m not worthy.”

“Griff said he’d be forever indebted to us if we got with your mom and organized a girls’ night. But…” she grins “…we wanted to anyway.”

She pulls away from me as all of them huddle around my mom and Morgan.

“Are you guys here for me or Morgan? Be honest.”

“Both.” Hayley shrugs.

“Well, make sure you wash your hands before touching hers. The professor is a stickler on that.”

“The professor?” Sherri glances over at me.

“Morgan’s dad—my boss—is a professor of anatomy. His name is Nathaniel Hunt, but I like to call him Professor.” And Nate because I know stuff about him, and I’ve had sex with him in my dreams.

Stop going there!

“How’s he doing? He lost his wife didn’t he?” Hayley asks as everyone lines up to wash their hands and play pass the baby.

“He’s doing well, I think. It’s different with a baby. He can’t just move forward and focus on his work or think ahead to finding love again. He’s not just a single guy; he’s a single guy with a baby.”

“And an awesome nanny.” My mom winks at me while handing Morgan to Sherri.

“And that.” I smirk.

“Whoa!” Hayley studies the pictures on the mantel. “Is this the professor?”

I laugh. “Yes.”

“I hope my professors look like him.”

Everyone except me gathers around the mantel.

“He’s handsome,” my mom says.

My mom. I can’t believe the woman who has been unable to think or talk about anything or anyone else except my dad just called another man handsome.

“How old is he?” Sherri leans in closer to the picture.

“Thirty-six.”

“If he shows interest in dating again, you should introduce him to Krista.” Sherri gives a suggestive look to my mom.

I can’t breathe as I wait for my mom to gasp or show some sign of being offended. She’s not over my dad.

Mom bites the corner of her lip. Why is she biting her lip? What is going on here?

“Do you think I could pull off the cougar thing?”

What. The. Fuck?

They’re drooling over Nate. My Nate. Internally I flinch. He’s not actually my Nate, yet he sort of is. It’s complicated. But it’s wrong—so wrong—for them to suggest my mom and him should … what? Date?

I had sex with Nate this morning in my dreams. Yes, so wrong too, but there has to be a universal law against a mother and daughter having sexual thoughts about the same man.

Gross. No. Just … no.

“You don’t look a day older than him. Of course you could pull it off.”

My mom is beautiful, not just for a woman in her forties, for a woman of any age. I hope I look even half as good as her when I reach my forties. But … still no. No Nate for her.

“I don’t think the professor will be ready to date anytime soon. He has a demanding job and a baby. Mom, I think you should look into online dating.”

My shift of topic lures them from the mantel back to the sofa and chairs. Sophie, Hayley, and Chloe steal Morgan and play with her on the floor with her mat and mobile.