Transcendence

I hold tight to it for a moment but then realize as long as she has my wrap in the cold water, she is not trying to wash me.



I should know better.



She lures me with her mouth and her hands to the water, and even though I know what she is doing, I can’t help myself. I try to get behind her, but she turns and moves me to the water instead. As I plead with my eyes, she makes me immerse myself, just as she has. I shiver and wonder what she will demand when there is a layer of ice near the shore. Will she still want me to get in the water?



Not a chance.



Not even for the opportunity to put a…



Well…



Maybe.



She wraps a clean piece of fur around my shoulders and gathers up the rest of the bedding she brought with us. My mate is thorough in her washing, and I realize she is planning on washing everything we have been sleeping on or wearing, regardless of the cold of the day. With a groan, I lie down on my side and cover up with a dry fur to rest.



Beh makes constant mouth-noises as we head back to the cave.



I’m exhausted from being cold and wet. I don’t know why, but resting near the water has made me more tired than I felt before. Beh, however, appears to be energized. I try to block out her sounds, but she doesn’t stop.



The furs are still damp, and they are cold and heavy on my shoulder. Beh is carrying all the grain we collected as well as some cattail roots, nutgrass, and puffball mushrooms. She has a handful of reeds as well, and I wonder if she is going to try to make another basket with them.



She makes more sounds. The noise is constant. She even waves her hands around a bit when she makes all that noise.



I blow a long breath out my mouth and look at her sideways. She glances over to me with a bit of a smile and continues with the noise. I don’t understand why she has to do that all the time. It’s annoying, and even though I would do anything to protect and provide for my mate, I can’t take any more of the noise.



I finally stop in my stride, drop the furs to the ground, and grab Beh by her arm. She halts in her tracks as I pull her beside me. I take my hand and place it over her mouth firmly as she looks at me with wide eyes. I growl low in my chest as I stare straight into her eyes. When I release her, her eyes narrow at me, and she huffs through her nose as she turns and starts back down the path to the cave. She is thankfully silent the remainder of the journey.



When we get to the cave, I drape all the furs that are still a little damp where they can dry before I tend to the fire. Once the fire is burning brightly, I sit in front of it to warm up and eat some of the grain and nut concoction Beh made for breakfast along with some of the dried antelope meat. I hold out some of the meat for Beh, but she doesn’t take it from me or look at my hand.



Actually, she turns away from me a little, tightening the fur wrapped around her shoulders.



“Beh.”



She doesn’t look at me. In fact, she turns away a little more. I call out to her again, but she doesn’t respond at all. I crawl over to her and hold the meat right in front of her face, and she shifts to the side again, nearly turning her back to the fire…and me.



Maybe she just isn’t hungry.



I bring her water, but I get the same reaction from her. I bring her the wood carving for her hair, and she jerks away from me. Confused, I shift back on the dirt floor of the cave and away from her. I glance back up, and Beh opens her mouth briefly but then snaps it shut before she turns her back to me again without making any sounds at all.



I sit back on my heels and try to figure out just what is wrong, but I can’t think of anything. I reach out with one finger and poke her arm, and her eyes finally meet mine. They are blazing with anger. I quickly look back down and sit on the dirt floor. I pull my knees up to my chest, wrap my arms around them, and duck my head a little behind my legs.



I watch my mate, but she doesn’t move for a long time.



“Beh?”



Nothing.



My legs bounce up and down a little, and I try to hold them still, but it isn’t really working. Why is she not acknowledging me? I don’t understand what I have done wrong. I went in the cold water and washed off like she wanted me to, and I carried the wet furs back to the cave.



I didn’t hunt today—was she upset all we had was dried meat to eat? I had not hunted or fished since before her bleeding time. Maybe she was tired of dried meat. I bring some of the grains to her; there is no meat in it at all, just some fat from the boar.



She still doesn’t look at me, so I sit back down and hug my legs again.



Is she upset I haven’t put a baby in her yet? Maybe if she put her mouth on mine, I can rub her with my fingers, and she will start getting wet. Once she is wet, I can make her feel good with my hands before I try to put a baby inside of her again.



“Beh, khhisz?” I look to her as her head swivels around, and I am met with another icy stare.



This one fades quickly as she looks me over, though. Her shoulders move up and down as she takes a deep breath and drops her face into her hands. Soft sounds come from her mouth as she rubs the heels of her hands into her eyes. Without looking up, she reaches one hand out toward me.



I look at it and then back to her, but her face is still covered with her other hand. Tentatively, I reach out and touch the ends of her fingers with mine. When she doesn’t pull back, I move a little closer and take her hand. She pulls at it, bringing me to her side before she wraps her arm around my head.



I sigh in relief as I lay my forehead on her shoulder, glad that whatever it was that upset her has passed and hope she will now let me take her to our furs and hold her hips while my penis is inside of her. I am still feeling the tension of not mating with her for so many days, but Beh has made it obvious that she doesn’t want to be touched there during her bleeding time.



For a while, I stay close to her, trying to gauge what she will do next, but we end up just sitting there. Thinking about putting a baby inside her has made my penis hard. Cautiously, I run my nose over the edge of her shoulder, not knowing how she will react. I glance quickly to her eyes, making sure she is still over her anger, and I see her softened expression. Her hand slips over my cheek and soft sounds come from her mouth.



“Khiz?”



“Kiss.” She smiles and leans toward me, our mouths joining together and our tongues quickly following. She strokes her fingers down my arms, and I bring myself up onto my knees to get a better angle to taste her mouth. I cup her face with my hands, and her palms move to my chest and shoulders, pushing the fur wrap away from me so she can touch my bare skin. It makes my entire body shiver, but I’m no longer cold.



I can’t wait any more.



I grab for Beh’s wrist and pull her with me to the back of the cave where the furs lining the depression will be soft and comfortable when I take her. I coax her down into the furs with me and place my hand on her waist. My penis is throbbing, and I want to be inside of her so much it is actually starting to hurt a little. Beh smiles at me, and her face looks flush in the firelight. She comes down to kneel beside me and places her mouth on mine again.



The remaining furs we are wearing are quickly discarded along with the little pink scraps Beh wears. Her arms wrap around me, holding me against her body with my hard shaft pressing into her stomach. I grind my hips into her, and it feels wonderful.



It has only been a few days since the very first time I was inside of her, and now I feel like I have to be inside her as soon as possible, or something horrible is going to happen. I don’t know what, but I know I want it—need it—right now. The idea of waiting another minute is not a welcome one.



Beh seems to have different ideas.



She guides my hands over her body, starting with her hips and moving up her sides. I alternate between looking into her eyes, which stare intently back at mine as her mouth makes quiet noises, and watching my hands touch her sides, her stomach, and her breasts. I watch and feel as she changes the pressure from tentative to more definite, especially around her breasts. She always moves slowly and usually with just a small amount of pressure—not too light or too hard.



She holds my hands against both of her breasts at once, and I run my thumbs over the nipples. The darkened areolas constrict, and the little buds in the centers stick out. My thumbs circle them each slowly, and Beh rewards me with a long groan.



She covers my mouth with hers, releasing my hands to do what they wish at the same time. She wraps her arms around the back of my shoulders, gripping me tightly and pulling me against her. I let out my own moan as my hips push into her stomach again, creating more friction along my shaft.



I need more.



Beh’s mouth, now released from mine, moves quickly over my chin and neck, distracting me from all other thoughts—even about my penis. Her tongue flicks out over my flesh, and then her mouth covers the same spot, sucking slightly and bringing warmth quickly to my skin.



“Hoh!”



Beh’s eyes meet mine as I look down at her. She moves back, placing her mouth on my shoulder and moving from one side to the other across my throat as I kneel in front of her, immobilized by the sensation. She moves back, places her closed lips at the center of my chest, and then moves back up to my mouth.



Unable to stand it anymore, I wrap both arms around her and push her back against the furs, covering her body with mine in the process. Our tongues find each other while my hand runs slowly down her side, trying to remember how much pressure she had used before. My fingers trace over her stomach, circle her navel, and then drop lower. They travel through her hair and down between her legs, finding her opening and that other little spot that makes her gasp and call out my name-sound.



Using soft and gentle touches, my fingers explore her folds while her tongue tastes my lips, and her fingernails scrape lightly on my back. It feels good when she does that, and reminds me that I still haven’t managed to get inside of her yet. My fingers revolve around her opening, capturing the moisture there and using it to help their penetration into her body. Beh’s hips buck, pushing my fingers deeper inside while she reaches down and holds the palm of my hand against her pubic bone.



“Oh…Ehd…Ehd…”



“Beh!”



Her hips buck again, rocking in time with my hand as I bring forth her cries of desire. I feel her body tighten on my fingers, and I remember what it felt like when her muscles constricted while I was inside of her. I wonder if I can make that happen again.



She moans my name-sound one more time as she falls back against the furs. I remove my fingers from her and run my nose up the inside of her arm then over her shoulder and along her neck. When I reach her ear, I take the lobe in my mouth and suck gently, just as she had done on my shoulder.



Beh hums and her fingers grip my back as I rise up and look down at her. She is so, so beautiful, especially when she is panting and her face is flushed. She is the most beautiful when her hair is tangled because I make her feel like she makes me feel when I am inside of her.



She reaches up and touches the side of my face again, then runs her hand down my chest and across my stomach. The heat from her fingers encircles the shaft of my penis, and for a moment, my eyes close as I revel in the sensation her fingers bring to me.



This isn’t what I want though.



I want to be inside of her.



Moaning with the effort, I pull away from her and grip her sides firmly. I start to roll her to her hands and knees, but she makes noises and rolls herself back before I can get between her legs. I look up to her, afraid she is angry with me again, but she is smiling as she moves her head from side to side. She reaches up toward me, takes my hand with hers, and pulls me back over the top of her.



Rubbing against her stomach again feels wonderful as our mouths meet, and for the moment, I am lost again in her taste. Quickly though, I am reminded where I really want to be, and I try to flip Beh over again gently.



She doesn’t let me, and I don’t understand why not.



I wonder if she is not as wet as she wants to be, so my hand finds its way back between her legs, and I touch her warm folds. They are so slick from before that my fingers slip right inside of her, and she arches her body to meet my hand. I love the noise she makes when I do that, so I am again distracted as I begin to massage her spot with my thumb, and she moans along with my movements.



Beh’s hand trails down my side and over my rear before she reaches around to touch me. Her fingertips run slowly from my scrotum to the head of my penis and I gasp. For a moment, I can’t even bring in enough air, and my body stills. Beh’s fingers stroke back, then wrap around me again. Her other hand pulls my mouth back to hers, and her tongue runs over my lips. I move my hands to her waist, knowing if I do not get inside of her soon, she’ll be upset about the mess on the furs. I can’t hold out much longer.



Her leg coils around my thigh, and she tightens her muscles, bringing me forward as her heel pushes against my backside. Her hand is still wrapped around the shaft of my penis, and she strokes it up and down once, causing me to moan. My hand grips her hip again, pulling at it in order to turn her to her stomach. Again, she resists, and instead, she pushes up with her hips as she pulls against me with her heel, and I feel my head graze her opening. Beh’s hips shift again, and her hand strokes me forward.



My wide eyes stare up at my mate as I try to figure out just what she is trying to do. Her eyes sparkle as she smiles at me and slowly strokes her hand over my face. She makes whispering sounds as she moves her hips again, and the response of my body is automatic. As the tip of my penis feels the warmth of her body so close, I push.



Finally, though not in the right position at all, I am buried inside of her.



CHAPTER FOURTEEN



“Hoh!” I cry out as I am again encompassed by her body. The heat of her wrapped around me is incredible, just as it has been before, but it also feels very different. The angle of her body has allowed for deep penetration more easily, and I find myself not only completely surrounded by her, but the glans at the end of my shaft has hit a barrier deep inside her channel. I am as far inside of her as I can be.