Troubles and Treats

Unless that creaking means there’s a ghost in the house. I’ve heard some strange noises every once in a while late at night and always wondered if the house is haunted. I bet it is. I bet that freaky little f**ker wants to watch us have sex. Fine with me, buddy, enjoy the show. Just don’t touch my ass at all during the event or I will call the Winchester brothers from Supernatural. Dean and Sam will f**k you up! I had a strange hand touch my ass one time in college during a threesome, and that’s just something you don’t get over. Random ass touching scares me more than spiders.

“Okay, you can open them,” Jenny says.

I slowly open my eyes and really, she should have prepared me a little for the sight I am currently seeing. I don’t know whether to drop to my knees and pray or have a heart attack.

“Oh, Willie Nelson. Are you…are we…this is…I…biscuits.”

I can’t even form a coherent sentence right now. My awesome wife is currently naked, lounging in the baby swing, er, I mean sex swing. Our sex swing is really a sex swing! Our sex swing is going to be used for sex and swinging and swinging sex!

Wait, no. Not swinging sex. We’re not swingers. No one else can enter this bedroom while we’re naked. Okay, scratch that. If a couple of naked chicks suddenly walk in, I certainly wouldn’t kick them out.

“Come over here, hot stuff, and bang me in the sex swing,” Jenny says as she curls her finger, beckoning me over.

I’m pretty sure I’ve never moved so fast in my life. My shirt is flung across the room, I shove my jeans and boxers down to my ankles, and start to run over. Unfortunately, it’s really f**king hard to run with pants around your ankles and I face plant into the carpet.

“Oh my gosh! Drew, are you okay?” Jenny asks me with concern.

“Fine! Totally fine! Don’t move!” I tell her as I quickly crawl on all fours over to the corner of the room.

I grab onto the swing on either side of Jenny’s thighs and use it to pull me up so I can stand between her legs.

“You’re a dirty, slutty man,” Jenny tells me in a sultry voice.

Oh my God! Oh my God!

I giggle, yes giggle, and start bouncing excitedly on my toes.

“I think you should push me on the swing with your ginormous cock, slutty man,” she tells me as she leans forward, grabs onto my hips, and pulls me closer to her on the swing until my “ginormous cock” is pushing against her entrance.

Porno Jenny! Porno Jenny is back! Hallelujah, praise Paula Abdul, Porno Jenny is back!

She wraps her legs around my hips and uses her thigh muscles to pull me closer, my c**k sliding deeper. We both groan and I stop halfway in when I hear creaking.

I whip my head around and shoot a dirty look over my shoulder to the whole room in general.

Stop moving around, ghost! You’re breaking my concentration. If you’re going to watch, do it quietly. AND DON’T TOUCH MY ASS!

I turn my head back around and concentrate on the task at hand. Swinging my dick into my hot wife.

Ha ha! Did I totally just make up an awesome pun or what?!

“Do me hard, you dirty slut,” Jenny whispers.

Oh hell yeah! It’s f**king ON!

I push the rest of the way inside of her heat, and I want to stop and savor the feeling of being back inside my wife but the swing is swaying and causing me to rock my hips against her.

“This swing is f**king awesome!” I tell her as I grab onto her thighs, pull my dick almost all the way out of her, and then slam back home.

Jenny lets out a gasp and throws her arms above her head to grab onto the straps of the swing. I start moving faster and harder, the force of my thrusts causing the swing to really begin swaying from front to back. It’s a little awkward and I have to concentrate on not falling. When the swing moves forward, I have to quickly shuffle my feet and follow it so my dick doesn’t fall out of Jenny. Then, when it swings back, I have to quickly shuffle my feet forwards, or else it’s going to clothesline my thighs, and I’m going to land on my ass on the floor.

I really should have taken my pants all the way off. This shit is hard! Ooooh, another pun right there, motherfuckers!

I’m basically waddling back and forth with the motion of the swing while at the same time, thrusting my hips in and out of Jenny. It’s like trying to pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time.

“Oh yes! Faster, faster!” Jenny screams.

Oh my God, the pressure! If I go any faster this swing is going to take me out at the knees! I need to make this swing my bitch and show it who’s boss.

I plant my feet as wide apart as I can with my jeans still wrapped around my ankles, let go of Jenny’s thighs, and wrap my hands around the straps that hang from the ceiling to stop the swing from swaying so much. It takes a minute to get it to stop, and I have to arch my back as far as I can, raise one of my knees, and push it against Jenny’s ass under the swing to finally get it to stop moving.

“Yes! Keep doing that! Rub my ass with your knee, you whore!” Jenny shouts.

I am nothing if not attentive to my wife’s needs right now, so I do as she asks. I hold onto the swing straps with both hands, lean back, keep my leg up, and rub my knee back and forth against her ass under the swing and keep moving my hips, thrusting in and out of her.

Jenny is moving her hips and pushing against me as I bang the hell out of her while trying to keep the swing in place. Around her moans of pleasure I hear another loud creak and I roll my eyes.

Seriously, ghost. Cut that shit out. I know you’re there; you don’t need to advertise it. Keep it down while you ghostly masturbate over there!