The whole thing depressed me.
Meanwhile, I texted Vivian twice and left a voicemail without getting a response; the house phone also went unanswered. Figuring she was out and about, I stopped at the grocery store on the way back from my parents’, something fairly rare for me. I usually only went to the store when we were out of something or when I was in the mood for something specific for dinner; I was the kind of shopper who used a handheld basket as opposed to a cart, like I was in a race to see how fast I could get out of there. For London, I grabbed a box of macaroni and cheese, slices of turkey breast and pears, which was only somewhat healthy, but also happened to be her favorite. For Vivian and me, I selected a New York strip and sashimi-grade tuna fillet that I could put on the grill, along with the makings for a salad, corn on the cob, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
While I hoped to make up for our lost date night, I also simply wanted to spend time with Vivian. I wanted to listen to her and hold her and discuss our future. I knew there were going to be changes in our lives, even challenges, and I wanted to promise that we’d get through them together as a couple. If Vivian felt more fulfilled and accomplished at work, she just might bring that better mood home with her; if we shared parenting more equally, we might begin to see each other in ways more conducive to a closer relationship. In the evenings, we’d visit about our days, revel in our successes and support each other in our struggles, and the extra money would make things easier as well. In other words, things would only get better for Vivian and me, and tonight was the first step in the process.
Why, then, did I feel so unsettled?
Maybe it was because Vivian never called or texted me back, nor was she home when London and I returned.
What had been odd gradually grew concerning, but I didn’t text or call, because I knew that I wouldn’t be able to hide my annoyance, which would no doubt put an end to the evening before it started. Instead, I marinated the steak and placed it in the fridge before starting to dice the cucumbers and tomatoes for the salad. London, meanwhile, pulled the husks from the corncobs. Thrilled to help make dinner for Date Night, she diligently picked away at the silken threads then would hold the corn up for me to examine before setting it aside and starting on the next. I prepared the macaroni and cheese, peeled and sliced a pear, added turkey to her plate and sat with London while she ate. With still no word from Vivian, I put on a movie for London and sat with her until I finally heard the SUV pull into the drive.
London was already out the front door as soon as my wife stepped out of the SUV and I watched Vivian scoop her up and give her a kiss. She kissed me as well and asked if I could bring the bags inside. Figuring it was groceries, I opened the back hatch after Vivian and London had vanished inside and saw a mountain of bags from Neiman Marcus and half a dozen shoe boxes with Italian names.
No wonder she hadn’t called or answered. Vivian had been busy.
Like the week before, it took multiple trips to unload all the items she’d purchased and by the time I finished, Vivian was sitting beside London on the couch, London leaning into her.
Vivian smiled at me before mouthing that she wanted a few more minutes with London. I nodded, reminding myself again not to show the slightest hint of irritation. In the kitchen, I poured two glasses of wine and brought one of them to Vivian before returning to the back porch where I fired up the grill. Knowing it would take a few minutes to heat up, I went back inside and sipped at the wine while taking stock of the dining room table where I’d heaped her things. In time, Vivian kissed London on her head then slid away. She beckoned me to meet her near the goodies. She leaned in for a quick kiss as I approached.
“London said she had a fun day with you.”
“I’m glad,” I said. “I’m guessing you had a pretty full day, too.”
“I did. After I finished with my research, I raced from one store to the next. By the end, all I really wanted to do was come home and relax.”
“Are you hungry? I picked you up some fresh tuna and I’ve already got the grill going.”
“Really? Tonight?”
“Why not?”
“Because I’ve already eaten.” Vivian must have seen my expression and her tone acquired an edge of defensiveness. “I didn’t know you were planning to make dinner tonight. All I knew was that I hadn’t eaten breakfast or lunch, and I was so hungry that my hands began to shake. I ended up stopping at a café on the way out of the mall. You should have let me know and I would have just grabbed a snack.”
“I called and texted, but you never responded.”
“My phone was in my purse and I didn’t hear it. I didn’t see your texts or that you’d called until I was almost home.”
“You could have called me.”
“I just told you that I was rushing around all day.”
“To the point you couldn’t even check your phone?”
“Don’t make it sound like I was trying to ruin your night on purpose,” she said with a sigh. “You can still grill the steak. I’m sure London is hungry.”
“She already ate,” I said, thinking that what I really wanted was for my wife to have missed talking to me as much as I’d missed talking to her.
“Oh,” she said. “Do you want to see what I bought?”
“Yeah, okay,” I said.
“Would you mind getting me another half a glass of wine first? I want to organize my things before I show you.”