Unafraid

And I fall.

This time, I don’t let the shadows of doubt creep into my mind. When Hunter calls me the next day to make a date for Friday, I know deep in my bones, he’s going to show.

“I wish I could see you sooner,” he says, the sexy drawl on the other end of the line making me smile despite the fact I’ve got two dozen ketchup bottles to refill.

“So why don’t you?” I hop up onto the table and swing my legs, feeling like a little kid.

Hunter groans. “Things are crazy here at the ranch, I’ve got two new horses arriving, and I’m trying to train Jake to pick up the slack.”

“All work and no play…” I tease, sing-song.

Hunter laughs. “Oh, I’m going to play. You can bet on it, darlin’.”

I feel a thrill of anticipation. “So, Friday night then?”

“Actually, I was thinking I’d pick you up at noon.”

I pause. “Daytime?”

“If you can swing the time off work,” Hunter adds. “Would that be OK?”

I already know I would turn around and quit if it meant I got to spend the day with Hunter and his glorious smile, but I still tease him, sounding undecided. “Depends what for…”

“Well, that you don’t get to find out just yet.” Hunter’s voice is playful. “You’re just going to have to trust me.”

“I seem to be doing a lot of that these days,” I reply, getting a sudden flash of him advancing towards me with the leather bridle flexed between his strong hands.

“And it’s been worth your while, wouldn’t you say?” Now Hunter is the one teasing, his voice a delicious low rasp down the line.

“Maybe,” I whisper back, but I’m already turned on, just from the memory of him. The stables. My front porch. The Ferris wheel.

Damn, but he’s good.

“So I’ll pick you up at noon,” Hunter says, and although I haven’t agreed yet, we both know it’s decided.

“See you then.”

I hang up and take a deep breath, my whole body already buzzing with excitement. I don’t know what he’s got planned for us, but it doesn’t matter. As long as I’m with him, I know, it’ll be the best day.

“Aww man, not you too!” Garrett comes in from the back hoisting a keg. He takes one look at me and sighs.

“What?” I bounce down and get back to work, fueled by a new energy.

“First your brother, and now you.” Garrett gives me an exasperated look. “Wandering around, looking all moony and loved up. It’s sickening.”

“I’m not!” I protest, putting my head down so he can’t see the smile that won’t shift from my lips.

“You so are.” Garrett isn’t buying my denials. “I can’t even look at you. And Hunter’s probably just as bad. He seemed like such a decent guy,” Garrett adds mournfully. “I figured we could hang out, watch a game sometimes. Now he’s a lost cause.”

“But this is your fault!” I cry. “You’re the one who kept pushing me at him, remember?”

“And I’ll rue the day as long as I live.” Garrett is still playing dramatic, so I roll my eyes.

“Whatever. And I’m not mooning over him, I’m just happy is all.”

Garrett grins. “So this is what happy looks like on you? Damn, I thought the day would never come.”

“Very funny.” I go to help him maneuver the keg into place under the bar, shoving him playfully as I go.

“Hey, Brit?”

I look up.

“I’m happy for you,” Garrett says quietly. “You deserve a break.”

I blush, self-conscious. “Whatever,” I brush off his comment, “It’s still early. I don’t even know what’s going to happen.”

“Yeah, but that’s the fun part.” Garrett gets a wistful, distant smile. “When you’re just figuring it all out, and everything’s fresh and new.”

“It is for you,” I throw back, joking. “You don’t even make it past a week with your girls!”

Garrett’s faraway look drops, and his usual teasing smile snaps back into place. “That’s plenty,” he winks. “Hell, I know everything I need to know about a girl in thirty seconds.”

“That quick, huh? Guess stamina’s not your strong point.” I stick my tongue out at him.

Garrett roars in protest. “What the hell? I go all night, baby, all night long.” He pumps the air and howls, and I can’t help but fall about laughing, watching him parade around the bar, taking a victory lap for his supposed prowess.

I laugh until my cheeks are aching and I’m gasping for air. It feels good to let it all out. The giddy skip in my stomach, just thinking about Hunter; the lightness in my chest even when I’m not. I’ve been so used to walking around with a heavy tight knot of bitterness and insecurity behind my ribcage, I never even realized I don’t have to feel that way. That maybe, I can wake up in the morning without a heavy weight crushing down on me; go to sleep at night dreaming of happy days, and not just the faces of all the people who’ve left me behind.

My phone buzzes with a text as our laughter fades away. I pull it out of my pocket eagerly. Hunter.

Counting the hours. I can’t wait to see you.

My stomach skips with delight, and I feel the smile take over my face.

Garrett shakes his head at me and sighs. “Another one bites the dust.”

I have no idea what Hunter is planning for us, so I figure I’ll play it safe and dress for anything: my pale blue bikini under cut-off denim shorts and a funky ripped crop top; my ratty old lace-up boots just in case I’m in for a hike. I’m just pulling on an armful of clattering metal bangles when I hear Hunter’s truck pull up outside.

I fly downstairs. “Hey,” I greet him breathlessly. “How are you?”

“Better now.” Hunter gives me a smile. He’s wearing another of his faded shirts, a grey tee that looks so soft I want to touch it. So I do. Placing one hand on his solid chest, I reach up on my tip-toes to land a soft kiss on his lips.

“So much better,” Hunter grins, pulling me in and deepening the kiss. His body is warm against mine, and my pulse kicks with a delicious thrill, soft and sweet like a summer breeze.

“I just have to grab my shoes and a sweater,” I tell him, when we finally break away. “I’ll be right down.”

“Take your time.” Hunter calls after me as I race back up the stairs.

I get the rest of my stuff together and throw it in the purse I sewed from brightly-printed fabric scraps. When I get back downstairs, Hunter is already out in the truck, engine idling with the radio on. I scramble up beside him. “Good to go?” Hunter raises an eyebrow at me.

“Hmmm, almost.”

I lean over and kiss him again, reveling in the taste of his lips and the scrape of stubble against my skin. I taste him, falling gently into the slow, unhurried bliss of his mouth and scent and his tongue, gently teasing mine. There’s nothing frenzied about these kisses. We’ve got all day.

And God, I could kiss him forever.

Finally, Hunter pulls back. He shakes his head, like he’s shaking off a daze. “How did you learn to kiss like that?” he asks. “Wait, don’t tell me. Whatever his name was, I don’t want to know.”

“Maybe you were the one who taught me,” I grin.

“OK. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.” Hunter laughs.

He puts the truck into drive and we head out, driving the quiet roads back through town and out onto the highway. It’s a beautiful day, the last of the summer sun warming my bare arms as I drape one hand out the open window, feeling the wind whip through my fingertips. The blue skies dance with puffy white clouds, and as we drive the coastal road, I can see the sunlight glittering on the waves.

I’ve never seen a more perfect day. Or maybe that’s because I didn’t have Hunter beside me, brightening everything, his easy smile warming my whole body from the inside out.

I remember my dreams from last night, the strands of memory weaving themselves together in a fragment of the past.

“You ever think about it?” I ask curiously, watching the shoreline pass. “That night we spent together, back then.”

There’s a pause, and I wonder if I’ve just gone and messed things up again. We haven’t talked about what happened back then, not even once. Maybe it was the unwritten rule of all of this, not to bring it up. But when I look over, Hunter has a smile dancing on the edge of his perfect mouth.

“It’s crossed my mind a couple of times,” he replies.

I let out a silent breath of relief.

“It seemed like a dream to me, sometimes.” I confess shyly. “I mean, it was like a moment out of time, you know? So unconnected to everything else in my life. We never even really talked before.” I pause. “And then, after...”

“You made your exit.” Hunter’s voice is matter-of-fact, but I still swear I can hear a hint of recrimination there—or maybe that’s just my guilt, whispering in the back of my mind.

“I had to.” I say quietly, still trying to justify it to myself after all these years. “It couldn’t have happened any other way.”

“I understand.”

“You do?” I look over. He nods.

“We were young. We barely knew what the hell we were doing, what we wanted.”

“I wasn’t sure how you felt,” I tell him, relief strong in my veins. “Part of me wondered if you hated me for just bailing, but then, I figured you’d hooked up with dozens of girls.”

Hundreds of girls. I silently add. Beautiful and perfect and way better for you than I could ever be.

“None like you.” Hunter smiles.

I laugh it off. “I bet you say that to all your one-night stands.”

Hunter reaches over and takes my hand, lifting it to his lips in a gesture so casually affectionate it takes my breath away. “There’s never been anyone like you.”

We drive for hours in an easy haze, chatting about movies, and music, and a dozen little meaningless things that somehow seem perfect, here with him. I don’t know where we’re going, and I don’t even care, but when the city skyline rises into sight, I can’t help but bounce impatiently in my seat.

“Give me a clue,” I beg.

Hunter shakes his head. “Nope.”

“A tiny hint?”

“I’m not telling,” he declares. “And you should already know, I don’t back down.”

“And you should know, I don’t go down without a fight,” I retort.

“Promises, promises.” Hunter gives me a seductive look, full of dark promise, and suddenly, I could care less where we’re heading—as long as it’s private, with some kind of horizontal surface.

“So how are your parents dealing with your big change?” I ask, quickly trying to change the subject to something less dangerous before I lean over and rip his shirt right off. “Is your brother taking your side, at least?”

Hunter grips the steering wheel tighter. “They’re not dealing,” he replies, his voice suddenly hard. “That would mean accepting someone else’s point of view, and that goes against a good hundred years of the Covington way.”

“I’m sorry,” I say quietly. “That must be tough, trying to live up to what they want from you.”

“It is.” Hunter shakes his head slowly. “And the thing I just figured out is, I’m never going to win.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, watching him.

“It’s like I spent the last twenty-two years jumping through hoops for them. It wasn’t enough that I made the football team, I had to be captain too. Whenever I brought home an A paper, my dad would go through it and point out all the things I still could have done better.” Hunter’s voice has a tight edge to it that makes my heart ache for him. How could anything he does not be good enough?

“And Jace…” he starts. “Jace was always perfect. It wasn’t just that he did everything they wanted, he liked it too. He wanted to please them. And me…? I can’t ever live up to that, not even if I tried.”

“So you stopped trying,” I say quietly, realizing that his move out to Beachwood is about so much more than just following his passion for horses and the farm. Part of me still had it down as the whim of some rich kid who’s decided to do whatever the hell he wants, but Hunter isn’t that shallow. Taking a stand against his family—and the life they’ve chosen for him—has been a long time coming for him. “I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to finally walk away.”

Hunter lets out a long, ragged breath. “I didn’t like the man I was becoming,” he says quietly. “Not in their world. I need to do things right, I owe it—” he stops himself from speaking.

“Owe what?” I ask, curious, but Hunter is pulling the truck into a parking spot, on a busy downtown street.

“We’re here!” he announces in a bright voice, and I can tell, the conversation is over. “Ready for your big surprise?”

I look around. Nothing but high-rise office buildings and the commuter lunch rush: people jostling on the sidewalks in business dress, clutching takeout bags and briefcases.

“Umm, Hunter?” I ask, climbing down from the truck. “Maybe it’s time you explain what’s going on.”

Hunter comes around to meet me. He slings one arm around my waist and pulls me into an excited hug. “It’s your interview.”