Uncaged

“Congratulations, brother.  Didn’t know it was possible with all those holes and rings you have through your dick,” Beck spouts.

“Would have thought with as many as he’s rocking, that those little swimmers wouldn’t have a chance,” laughs Axel.

I start to chuckle until I hear a gasp of pleasure coming from behind me.

“What!  Gregory, what is this?”  I turn to see Sway dramatically fanning his face, his eyes zoned in on my crotch.

Isn’t this just lovely.  I was apparently wrong; there is something that could wipe the smile clear off my face.

“Nothing, Sway,” I say, trying my best for a stern voice while leveling the four morons with my hardest ‘shut the fuck up’ look.

“Gregory Cage, do you have piercings?”  he practically pants.

Shit.  “Thanks a lot, jackasses,” I grind out.  They all laugh.  Even Maddox is laughing so hard that he has tears in his eyes.

“How far of a stretch is it that you’ll forget you heard that?”  I ask Sway.

“Oh, darling.  I’ll forget that juicy piece of yum the day that pigs learn to fly.  And to think, I thought you were the straight-laced one of the bunch.  Who knew you were hiding all of that?”  His eyes roam over my body before landing right on my crotch again.

Jesus Christ. 

“Sway, I’m a married man now.  Stop thinking about my dick.”

Really, as annoyed as I am with the idiots still laughing by the door to our office, Sway’s face really is comical.  A mix between shock and awe.

“Plus, Maddox has one too.  Lust over him.  He’s single.”  I laugh before pushing my way through the group.  They’re all laughing even harder now—except for Maddox.

“Oh my gosh!  Congratulations, Greg!”  Emmy screams when I walk through the front lobby.  She politely ignores the fact that the whole state of Georgia may know about my piercings now.  “I bet you, Melissa, and Cohen are thrilled!”

“Thanks, Em.  We couldn’t be happier.”  I give her a warm smile and hug.  We chat for a few minutes before I continue down the hall.  It doesn’t take long before the four amigos are filing in.  I should have seen it coming.  No way they would leave it all at the door.  Literally.

“Well?”  Coop asks.

“Well, what, asshat?”  I throw back before dropping down in my chair.

“Congrats, man.  Izzy told me last night,” Axel interrupts, at least having the decency not to mention my junk again.

“Well what, my ass.  All the shit you have jammed through your dick and you still knocked her up?”  My answering growl is enough to have Coop shut his mouth and hold his hands up.  “Just asking, dude.  I thought Dee was full of shit when she mentioned all that party you are rocking in your pants.”  He laughs and wags his brows at me.

“You really need to learn how to shut up.  Or maybe buy a filter,” Beck says in a loud whisper.

“What?  Can you honestly tell me you aren’t the least bit interested in why he has all that going on?”

Beck just shakes his head at Coop, choosing to ignore his ridiculous question.

Smart man.

“For the record, I don’t make it a habit of thinking about his dick at all.”  Axel laughs, sitting in one of the chairs next to my desk and picking up a stress ball.  “But while we’re on the topic, what in the hell compelled you to do that shit?”

“Are we really going to do this?  Should we whip them out and compare sizes while we’re at it?”  I run my hand through my hair in frustration.  Ever since word of my piercings got out, I’ve had a feeling that this would be coming.

Maddox finally chimes in, a wicked grin forming.  “No need for that!  I know mine trumps all you little boys.”

“Wanna bet?”  Coop mocks and stands, making to unzip his pants.

“If you pull that shit out in my office, I will cut you.”

He wisely sits back down when I reach for my scissors.

“All right.  If you really need to know, I lost a bet.  An old friend of mine bet me I wouldn’t do it, then stepped up the bet that I wouldn’t get more than him.  So I got wasted, and the rest is history.  Melissa loves them, so all in all it’s the best bet I ever lost.  The end.”

They all just look at me.  Maddox is the first to break the silence.  “You guys should take notes.  As funny as you think it is, the ladies love it.  Congrats on the baby, brother.”  And with that, he leaves the room.

I get a few more mumbled congratulations before Beck and Coop get up and leave.  Axel never moves from his seat, still just throwing that damn ball up in the air.

“What?  I can tell you have something to say.”  I lean back and get ready to hear him out.

“Did you really have to put ideas in Izzy’s head?  She now has some brilliant idea that I need some… What did she call it?  Oh yeah, ‘Trifecta of vaginal bliss.’  What in the hell does that shit mean?”

I throw my head back and laugh so hard my sides cramp up.  “Do those women tell each other everything?”

“Apparently so.  And, Greg, I don’t want to hear about your dick anymore.”

We talk for a while before he gets serious again.

“I’m happy for you.  For all three of you.  I know you, and I know this wasn’t ever even on your radar.  But, brother, this looks good on you.”

And just like that, my heart feels full to capacity, my skin feels tight, and that damn smile that’s so big it hurts comes rushing back to the surface.

“Thanks, man.  Thanks.”

I may not have ever dreamt of this life for myself, but I finally feel like I have everything.  There isn’t anything that can take this feeling from us.

Chapter 2—Greg—Six Months Later

“Daddddy!”

Ah.  And now the fun begins.

I left Cohen sitting on my bed, harmlessly watching some ridiculous cartoon so that I could jump in the shower.  We’re running late, but that’s pretty typical when Melissa leaves us to our own devices.  What does she expect?  The ‘bad guys’ won’t kill themselves, blanket forts can’t be constructed in a split second, and Lego fortresses won’t build themselves.  My boy needs to have some one-on-one time with his dad, and with the twins fast approaching we’re squeezing in every second of ‘man time’ that we can.