Undead and Unreturnable

"Jon wants to-"



"That was rhetorical; I heard the discussion on the way up the stairs." He strode into the room, put a hand on Jon's face, and shoved. Jessica darted to the door and actually had it open in time for Jon to stumble through it. She took one look at Eric, said, "Good night, guys," and went through the door herself, at a slightly more dignified speed.



"Sinclairrrrrrr!" I yowled. "You can't go around manhandling my friends that way. No wonder he doesn't think I should marry you."



"I know exactly why the infant thinks I shouldn't marry you." He had his back to me, staring at the shelves full of CDs. He'd been sleeping in here for a couple months, but he had yet to move any of his own things in. All his suits and underwear and toiletries (if a vampire needed such things) were in his own room down the hall.



Why had I never wondered what that meant before? That he came to fuck and then left? Unlike me, Eric could move around all day, provided he stayed out of direct sunlight. So I figured, anything was an improvement over all the fighting and massive sexual tension we'd always ever known. And because I assumed after the wedding we'd share a room, not just a bed.



I'd assumed other things before. About Eric. And been wrong.



Worst things first. "You're being a big baby about this. You were a jerk about him staying with us for a while--"



"We are not the Super 8 Motel."



"Says one of the three people who moved in without paying a dime for the place! Or asking me! I at least sold my house for the down payment."



"It is childish to pretend it's the same thing," he sniffed. "I was the king, moving to an appropriate domicile to be at my queen's side. Jon is sniffing up your back trail like an addled bull in the pasture."



Wow. He was really mad. The farm metaphors only came out when he was superpissed.



"Eric, he's, like, twelve years younger than I am! I'd never go out with someone like that."



He turned away from the wall of Cool. His night attire, I couldn't help but notice, was exceptional: black silk pajama pants. And nothing else. I wished we could quit arguing so I could see if his nipples tasted as good as they looked. "You're sixty years younger than I am."



Nipples be damned! "What?"



"I said, you're sixty years younger than I am."



" Wh-buh-" I honestly never thought of it in terms like that anymore. I used to, when I was a brand-new vampire and he wanted me to choose between him and Nostro, but then I chose, and it's never come up since.



Unless Sinclair thinks it's time to make another choice...



"Look, Eric, you're just being..." I napped my hands helplessly. "Well, weird. You're being weird about this. It's you I love. Not Jon. Not Nick."



His eyes narrowed. "What does Nick have to do with anything?"



"I'm just saying! Everyone's so concerned about my love life, nobody's listening to me, to what I want. It doesn't matter how many Bees or cops end up living here; it doesn't change how I feel about you. I made my choice, you're who I want to be with. You! The sneakiest, creepiest, studliest guy I've ever known."



He unclenched a bit. "I suppose I must take that as a compliment."



"I don't care how you take it, but be nicer to Jon. Stop shoving him around; it just showcases your-I can't believe I'm using this word in reference to you-insecurity."



"That term is exactly why I haven't yet brought up the subject of your new sleepwear."



"What?" I spread my arms, like Christ on the cross. "You think I'm insecure and that's why I wear this stuff? You're on drugs! Don't you think the dots bring out my highlights?"



He grinned, started to say something, but then cut himself off and turned back to the wall of Cool.



"How have I not noticed these before?" he asked.



Because we appeared to be done fighting, I didn't say anything, but boy, I was thinking plenty. Like: well, if you came here for anything but sex, you'd probably notice all sorts of cool things.



"Various Hits of the Eighties. Cyndi Lauper." Sinclair was flipping through the top shelf of CDs. "Greatest Hits of Duran Duran. All Dance Hits of the Eighties. Eighties, Eighties, Eighties. More of the Jammin' Eighties. Madonna: True Blue. The Pet Shop Boys. The Beastie Boys."



"What can I say? I'm eclectic."



"Yes. Eclectic. That wasn't the word that sprang to my mind, I admit."



"Don't tell me you're one of those music snobs." But of course, he was. Nothing in his car but Rachmaninoff.



"No, no. The wedding's off."



"What?"



"I said, you have to take that off."



"Oh." Weird vampire hearing. It was either really good or really bad. "Okay, okay. Do you want to borrow-"



"No!"



"All right, don't yell." I moodily started unbuttoning my flannel top. "And stop pushing Jon around, I mean literally pushing him. How'd you like it if he put his big ole farm boy mitts on your face and shoved?"



"I would love that," Sinclair replied with scary sincerity.



"Is that the stench of a dead goat I smell, or your testosterone? Cripes, throttle back. Besides, you're missing my point. I'm in here with you, aren't I? I don't go to Nick's place or climb into Marc's bed-I notice you're not weird about Marc-"



"Is that supposed to be a joke? I'd be infinitely more worried about Marc if we were the same suit size."



Hmm, good point. Moving on! "Maybe one of my undead superpowers is to make gay people straight, but I don't see you worrying too much about it."



"No," he agreed, sitting on the edge of the bed and drumming the fingers of his left hand on his right knee. "I don't worry too much about it."



"Right!"



"Also, you are not undressing nearly quickly enough."



"And I'm not in the Bee's bed, wherever that one even is-"



"Second floor. Third one down the hall, right side."



"See? I should be worried about you sleeping with him, you're so obsessed."



"Territorial," he conceded. "Not obsessed."



"But it's you I want to be with-did we not figure this all out in October?" I waved my arms, which, as I was unbuttoning, napped like a clothesline in a windstorm. "It's your voice I hear in my head, nobody else's. That should prove you've got nothing to worry about."



"What?" Oh, fuck.