Undead and Unreturnable

"Good evening, Your Majesty."



"Tina, baby," I called, dumping more cream in my tea. "Have a seat. Have a cup."



"How long have you been up?"



"Two hours or so," I said, trying not to sound smug. God had answered my prayers and lately I'd been waking up around four in the afternoon. Of course, I lived in Minnesota in December, so it was just as dark at four as it was at eight, but still.



"But you... you haven't seen the paper?" Tina sat down across from me, the Trib folded under her arm. She put it next to her and ignored the teapot. "Not yet?"



"I don't like the sound of that. Not one bit." Tina hesitated, and I braced myself. Tina was an old vampire, ridiculously beautiful like most vampires, totally devoted to Sinclair and, to a lesser extent, me. She had made Sinclair, way back when, and helped us both win our crowns more recently, protected us, lived with us (not like that, ewww!)... she was like a major domo, except little and cute. So I guess she'd be a minor domo.



She had long, taffy-colored hair, which she usually piled up in an efficient knot, and enormous dark eyes. Big brownish-black anime eyes. Though she barely came up to my chin, she gave off an almost noble air. Like Scarlett O'Hara's mother Ellen, I'd never seen Tina's shoulders touch the back of any chair; I'd never seen her even slouch. She was also insanely smart and never forgot anything. She was a lot more queenlike than me, to tell the truth.



Anyway, my point was, she handled with aplomb the sort of situations that would drive most of us clinically insane or at least irritable. And she was hesitating. She was nervous.



Lord, help me be strong. "I guess you better tell me." She silently unfolded the paper and handed it to me. Births and deaths. I read the announcement. "Huh," I said with total unsurprise. "My brother was born days ago, and they didn't bother to tell me. How about that."



Tina was actually cringing in her chair and opened her eyes wide at my remarks. "That's... that's all? That's your only comment?"



"Oh, come on. I grew up with those people. This isn't exactly atypical behavior. I guess I better get over to the house and pay my respects. Let's see... we're supposed to meet with the florist tonight, but I seriously doubt Sinclair's gonna mind if I reschedule that... and Jess and I are supposed to have a late supper, but she won't want me to miss this... yeah, I'll go see the baby tonight."



Tina's perfect, smooth forehead was wrinkled in surprise. "I must say, Majesty, you're taking this much better than I anticipated."



"I was sort of expecting it. I've been keeping half an eye on the birth announcements... just haven't had a chance to get to them today. The baby's early... I didn't think the Ant was due until January."



"She might have gotten her dates mixed up," Tina suggested. "It's possible she miscalculated the date of her last menstrual-"



"I'm trying to kill my unholy thirst, here," I reminded her.



"Sorry."



I took another look at the paper. "So brother Jon. You know, the last baby the Ant had was the daughter of the devil. Wonder what you're gonna be like?"