Under My Skin

 Chapter 1



I blinked my eyes, my mouth gaping open. I was completely shocked, flabbergasted, astonished. Whatever you wanted to call it, that was me. I could not wrap my mind around what I’d just heard, let alone try to come up with some sort of sensible answer.



But let’s back up for a second. Over a year ago, I conned my best friend, Emma, into going to a tattoo shop so I could get my tongue pierced. She ended up getting a tattoo, the first of the three she’s now sporting, but more importantly, she ended up meeting Luke, the man she’s going to marry next spring. Me? I did end up with the tongue ring, but that only lasted about six months, especially after I ripped it. Now, I actually have my own ink, drawn up specially by Brandon, Luke’s brother. They own Skin Deep together, and they do very well.



It’s a very cute little tattoo; just a small hot pink flower with a tribal design on my front right hip. Brandon was also the one who pierced my tongue, so I figured he should be the one to do my tattoo, too. Honestly, he didn’t really give me a choice. He said he was going to do it, so why argue?



I didn’t want anything big because I’m a small woman. I’m only 5’2, size 3/4, but what I lack in size, I make up for in boobs and attitude.



But right now I’m still stuck on the fact that Jackson, who is Luke and Brandon’s best friend that is moving here from L.A. (who the hell moves from L.A. to Phillus, Ohio?), is standing here in front of me having said what he just did.



“Allie? Did you hear me?” Jacks asked patiently.



I personally wouldn’t have been patient if I’d asked someone what he just asked me. But then again, I don’t know if I’d ever ask someone what he did.



“Allie, seriously. Are you ever going to give us a chance to really be with you? You’ve been teasing us for months now, and while I love your few and far between kisses, I want more. I want you lying in my arms at night, waking up beside me, making love in the morning…hell, anytime I want!”



I gasped. “But, Jackson! You…I…you don’t know that you want that! You can’t know that you want that. And what about-” I stopped as he cut me off.



“What about Brandon, right? You don’t have to worry about that. In fact, he and I have already discussed this. We’re willing to work it out, to try it, at least. We want it to work because we both want more from you.”



A warm, deep voice chimed in from behind me. “He’s right. We did discuss this, Allie, because we both want to be with you, and we know that you want to be with us. Both of us. We also know that being with both of us is not conventional, and it might be frowned upon by people, but who gives a fuck? If we’re happy, isn’t that all that matters? What’s holding you back, Allie?”



Brandon walked around the couch and plopped down on the other side of me, leaving me pressed between two hard, very warm male bodies. I wasn’t complaining about it, but…I still had no idea what to say to them, how to answer Brandon’s question.



Emma had called me at the store today and asked if I wanted to come have dinner and hang out tonight, maybe watch one of the hundreds of movies that Luke and Brandon had collected over the years, but when I’d gotten here, she’d told me she forgot that she and Luke were going out for a date night. They were going to go get dinner and a movie, but she told me that Brandon and Jacks were going to order pizza and chill at home, so they asked me to stay and hang out. I agreed, not realizing that I’d been set up. That didn’t come until about ten seconds ago when Brandon joined our discussion.



“Wait. You guys planned this little thing tonight to talk to me?” I asked. “And Emma was in on it? Seriously? You couldn’t just pick up a phone and talk to me like normal people do? And Jesus, Jacks, why’d you wait until Brandon left the room to start in on this whole thing?” I could hear my voice rising, but I couldn’t help it. Everything was feeling so surreal to me.



“He left so I could talk to you about this. We figured you might be a little more receptive if you didn’t feel like you were getting ganged up on,” Jacks said quietly.



“But why now? You know, I was a little confused by the fact that Emma supposedly forgot a date night with Luke, but I let it go. I mean, no big deal. But then Jacks…you drop this in my lap out of nowhere and I’m…I…I don’t know what the hell to say!” I dropped my head back and closed my eyes, feeling like I was hanging on by a thread.



“Allie, come on. You know this isn’t out of nowhere. Jackson and I have made it clear that we’re into you. You’ve kissed us both, and wanted to do more. The only one holding back in this situation is you, and well, we’re done waiting. In fact, we both asked Emma what she thought because she knows you best.” Jackson kept his voice gentle, obviously trying to placate me.



I snorted. “Oh, and what’d she do? Declare open season on me for the two of you?”



Brandon answered this time. “No. All she said was ‘it’s about damn time’! But even she couldn’t tell us why you’re holding back.”



Good question. I mean, it’s not that I hated the thought of being unconventional, because, let’s face it, I was completely unconventional on my own. A self-proclaimed free spirit…I really just enjoy being myself, who I am, and I don’t care what people think. Usually. But this…this was a little different. I mean, isn’t it a little greedy to want or have two gorgeous men in your bed every night? And what about kids?



Don’t get me wrong; growing up with my parents being how they are, I’ve seen some shit that most kids would be traumatized by. Like when ‘Aunt’ Sherry would come to stay for a weekend and after I’d go to bed, she, Mom, and Dad would smoke these funny smelling cigarettes, and then Sherry would be in bed with them in the morning when I woke up. Of course, as I got older, I realized what that funny smell was, and exactly why Mom and Dad were sharing a bed with ‘Aunt’ Sherry.



And that doesn’t mean that my parents were bad people, or bad parents. They loved me, provided for me, and taught me right from wrong just like any other parents would do. They just made things a little more fun than some, and were very…open about other things.



The more I thought about it, though, I realized that none of my arguments were very convincing as to why I should fight it. What’s the harm in trying? At least we’d know then if it wouldn’t work. But would my heart be able to handle it if it didn’t? Or, God forbid, what happened if there was something more with one than the other?



I sat up, shaking my head at the turn my thoughts were taking. I noticed that the room had gotten very silent, and two pairs of eyes were trained on my face, watching intently for any sign of what I was thinking. I looked at them, studying each one in turn.



Brandon was 29, my age, stood about 6’3, had gorgeous blue-grey eyes, and closely cropped black hair. He was muscular but lean, tattooed, and had that unshaven, kind of scruffy look going for him that made me want to lick him. He was also the jokester of the group; always ready with a quick comeback, loved to make people laugh. I almost think he does it to hide how intelligent he really is. He isn’t usually very forthcoming when it comes to details about his past, but one drunken night loosened his tongue and he let it out. Let’s just say it wasn’t the easiest for him, but he and Luke are doing quite well for themselves now.