Under My Skin

Page 48



I wasn’t complaining about it…but poor Jackson’s leg was throbbing when we were done, so I felt bad. But not bad enough that I let him sleep when I woke up in the middle of the night wanting him again…

The next morning, I was crying again. Of course, I seemed to be doing a lot of that lately, but this time I had a reason.

I’d been in the kitchen making breakfast when the doorbell rang. I answered it, surprised to see a woman standing there with a bouquet of lilies and roses, a long envelope in her hand.

“Allie?” she’d asked.

I had nodded and she had smiled, handed me the flowers and the envelope, and turned to leave. I had thanked her and made my way back into the kitchen so I could see what was in the envelope.

And what was in the envelope is what made me cry. It turned out to be a letter from Brandon, telling me he was leaving, among other things. This is what it said:

Dear Allie,

I know I told you goodbye yesterday at the welcome home party for Jackson, but I just couldn’t leave things like that. I need you to know that I’m completely good with you and Jacks getting married. He asked me about doing that whole thing at the hospital and I told him to go for it. I’m even going to be his best man, unless Luke throws a fit cause he’s supposed to be his best friend…But anyway, I’m sure he’s told you by now, because he really can’t keep anything from you (not that it’s a bad thing) but I even went out and picked out your engagement ring. So, in a way, it was from both of us, even though it is definitely an indicator that you will be marrying Jacks and more of a ‘one last thing’ from me. I shouldn’t have even said it like that because I don’t want you to think that I’m going away to lick my wounds and this isn’t what I really want. It is. I know I sprung it on you out of nowhere, but I knew it was time that I made the break. If not, it would have been that much harder than it already was. My timing was shitty; I know that. I also know that, knowing you, you think that you pushed me away, especially by staying at Jackson’s side every night. You didn’t push me away, Allie. I do think that the time we spent apart when you stayed at the hospital and I was working and then went home without you did give me time to think. That’s when I realized that the love you and Jackson shared, like I said that night at the hospital, is something special. I do love you, Allie, but my love for you pales in comparison to the love that Jackson has for you, and you for him. I don’t say that to hurt your feelings or to sound like I’m whining because I’m not. But I know that, in time, I probably would have ended up resenting the relationship you have together. I know we said in the beginning that we were good with the whole sharing thing, but…I watched you two together and I know now that I want that for myself and I don’t want to be a third thrown in. I hope you understand what I’m saying, and I really hope I’m not making a mess of this. Regardless, by the time you read this, I’ll already be gone. I’ll be back in a couple of weeks but I didn’t want to leave this until then. I’ll see you when I get back, but until then, take care of yourself, Jackson, and the little peanut. He and Uncle Brandon have some future plans to see to.

Brandon

The steady thump-step-thump-step coming towards me indicated that Jackson was up and making his way to the living room on his crutches. He came around the corner into the kitchen and stopped dead when he saw me.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” he asked me frantically.

I gave him a shaky smile and shook my head. “Nothing is wrong, I promise. Brandon sent flowers and a letter to me and it just made me cry.”

“You sure?” Jackson asked.


I nodded again and showed him the letter. Jackson read it and then held his arms open for me; I moved into his embrace and hugged him tight. He pulled away after a second and asked if I was okay.

“Yeah…I am,” I said. And I was. It still hurt that Brandon broke things off the way he did, and that he just plain broke things off, but I understood. If I was honest with myself, I knew that what I felt for Jackson had overshadowed what I felt for Brandon just a bit…but I also think that Jackson showed his hand emotionally a lot sooner than Brandon did, and maybe that made all the difference.

Now, we’ll never know because things happened the way they did and, as the old saying goes, everything happens for a reason. So I guess we’ll have to see how it all plays out…

Chapter 23

“Shut up! Are you serious? You aren’t fucking with me, are you?”

I yelled the words into the phone at Emma, who did nothing but laugh. I could tell she’d been crying, too, and I was initially worried but when she told me what she told me, I quit being worried. Now I was simply in shock.

“Well, you are my best friend, so I guess we’re destined to go through everything together!” she said, still laughing.

Emma was pregnant! Holy shit! Both of us, pregnant at the same time…how crazy is that?

“How far along are you?” I asked her, betting in my head that she’s probably a week or so behind me if not due at the same time. As far as I can tell, I conceived the night of Luke and Emma’s wedding so it stands to reason that maybe she did, too. “And what did Luke say when you told him?”

“I don’t know yet, I’ve only taken a home test. But if I calculated correctly, then I got pregnant either on my wedding night or sometime during the honeymoon. Our kids are going to grow up together, like we did! That’s so fucking cool!” she shouted gleefully. “And Luke was over the moon. He called Brandon immediately and ever since we’ve gotten into the shop this morning, he’s been telling everyone that comes through the door. I swear, you’d think he’d won a Nobel Peace Prize or found a solution to end world hunger rather than just knock me up!”

I laughed. “I can imagine!” The bell dinged over top of my door at my store. “Gotta go, Em. Someone just came in but we seriously have to celebrate! I can’t wait to tell Jackson!” I quickly promised to call her later and hung up, turning to greet my customer.

I stayed pretty busy for the rest of the day and by closing time, I was exhausted. These damn pregnancy hormones were hitting me hard and I found myself wanting to take naps all the time. I headed home once everything was done and found myself wishing that Chloe was back.

She was a big help in the store and my Nanny was driving my mom nuts again because she’d had a fainting spell and now had a bunch of doctor appointments to go to, so Mom wasn’t able to come in and help. The last time Mom had tried to tell Nanny that she couldn’t go with her and Poppy to the doctor’s office, Nanny had laid a guilt trip on her big time, telling her, ‘Well, okay if you don’t want to help your elderly parent go to the doctor. I guess you don’t owe me anything for carrying you for nine months, birthing you, and then raising your ass for eighteen years…We’ll be fine. I just hope we don’t get lost…’

That conversation had prompted another phone call to me from my mom doing her whole apology bit again. Truthfully, I think she’s just trying to make sure she stays on my good side so I don’t put her and Dad in a home when they’re old. Really.

Mom had opened the store for me the first week Jackson was home just so I didn’t have to leave him alone in case he fell or something. But then that whole thing happened with my Nanny so I had to go in the following week because I didn’t have anyone else. Emma had come over and worked long enough for me to take Jackson to his appointment to have his cast removed, but now I was all by my lonesome again. I guess I just got used to Chloe working with me every day before the accident.

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