Unrequited Death

"Not for long?" I asked while blowing hot breath between the soft mounds and she groaned, gooseflesh rising in response to my attempt at sensuality.



It seemed to be working pretty well. Of course, we'd been practicing a lot.



"No, not for long," she agreed. Her green eyes opened and looked into mine. "I need this, Caleb. If I don't have full contact my first time will be marred by losing the full experience."



Like I'd argue that.



"I heard that, stud," she grinned, getting the run of my emotions through our contact.



Busted.



I kissed her until she stopped smiling and began giving me back what she was getting.



Jade launched herself around me like a small monkey, her legs wrapped around my waist and I did a swaying quick shuffle stagger to the bed and put her gently on it.



Her legs were still around my waist.



I couldn't get tired of that.



I tore my shirt off by the collar, ripping it off my head and she giggled. My eyebrows rose and she said, "I like the view even if you take your shirt off funny."



And guys fold the toilet paper while girls crumple... the gender difference wasn't just anatomical. I gave a mental shrug. "You find me amusing, then?" I leaned forward, my bare chest pressing against her already unbuttoned blouse . Her lacy deep pink bra made an offering of her boobs.



They looked good enough to eat.



Hey, bright idea, I thought and removed the pin striped long sleeved shirt the rest of the way and she stared at me, her eyes green pools of heat. For me, for what we were gonna do.



"I love you, Jade," I said, never meaning anything more in that moment than I did that sentiment.



"I know," she whispered back.



She didn't need to tell me back, her eyes did. It was her trust that I most relished. Here was a girl, half naked and vulnerable beneath me, who had been neglected, emotionally and physically abused for most of her life. And it was me she was giving herself to. Me. That was greater than the love I saw shining for me. Her trust.



I would never let her down.



When we were down to our underwear she grabbed my wrist as I was sliding her panties off, a hot pink strip that had less material than a hair band.



"Are ya okay?" I asked, pressing a kiss to her belly button and she sighed.



"Yes... just go slow." I could see her anxiety and I responded, "Ya know I will. I'm a guy, I want it to be good for you. In fact, look what I have?" I waved the little tube back and forth like a small flag of celebration.



Jade laughed when she saw the travel-sized lube in my hand and I waggled my brows. "I want this to be as good as possible."



Jade trailed her fingers down my arm, lacing our fingers. "Thank you."



When her panties were clenched inside my hand and I'd done some prep, I lay between her legs, supporting my upper body with my elbows, our chests kissing close. I looked into her eyes, using my free hand to push that black hair away, her eyes tight with anxiety and with a desire that matched mine.



"I can feel how much you want me..." she said in a breathy voice.



I thought that was funny.



"Can't miss it, babe," I restated logically with a grin.



"No," she whispered and put her small hand above her heart. My obvious physical desire pressed between us but she felt my urgency through her Empath skills.



I simply nodded, anything else would be a lie.



"How can you not go faster?" she asked, searching my eyes. "I feel how much you want to be... inside me."



I thought about it, my desire throbbing to do just that, for us to be connected in that last, intimate way. After a few moments I finally said it plainly, "I love you more than I want you."



We looked into each other's eyes for a heartbeat more, our bodies suspended together within that moment of realization.



And then I was pressing inside her, the heat of Jade gripping me like a precious velvet glove of slickness and warmth.



When I came to her barrier Jade gave the smallest nod at my hesitation and I pressed deeper inside her in a single rock and Jade cried out. I stilled, terrified I'd hurt her. That froze me in place and then her eyes met mine. Her expression was different than I expected... wonder, pain and need mixed inextricably together.



"It hurts but it's wonderful, Caleb..." she said, pushing her hips against me, meeting our bodies more deeply together.



So I did it again, slowly pulling out and rocking inside her.



Jade began to meet my rhythm until I couldn't maintain it any more, the sweet torture of her beneath me was a frenetic exquisiteness I didn't want to end. When my own release came I shuddered above her, the most powerful, mind-blanking sensation I'd ever known overtook me and Jade groaned underneath me in ecstasy.



For my release had been shared as if it were her own.



We came together in more than the physical, our minds' mutuality combined for a shattering few seconds of unified heaven.



It changed everything.



And nothing.



*



after



Once I knew the secrets of Jade's body it was more of a challenge than I thought it'd be. It was as if I'd opened the floodgates and every look, every touch, everything was just... so much more.



We laid by each other for hours until I knew my parents would begin to worry I'd died if I didn't drag my ass home.



"I don't want you to leave," Jade whispered into my chest, her head tucked inside my arm as we lay on the bed together.



I lifted our entwined fingers and looked at her beautifully shaped and delicate hand inside my bigger one and I sighed, slightly frustrated.



"I don't want to go either. But I have to."



"I know," she said quietly and I was struck by how wrong it felt to leave her. I thought of the power a woman had over a man. It wasn't just the sex, if there was love too; it was a deadly combination. I was her little slave, I knew it; I don't think she did.



I gave a slight smile and she asked, "What?" with a laugh.



"I was just thinking I'm your sex slave now," I said without regret, it was a new reality.



"I like that, it's a perfect role for you," Jade said in a droll way.



I turned on her quickly, tucking her underneath me and laying slightly above her. She gave a squeal and our grins faded as I saw the look on her face, a mirror of my own.



"I know what my first sexual favor shall be, my prince," she said with a slight pout to lips that were swollen from my kisses.



"Oh? My queen," I said, jerking her even closer and she gasped in anticipation. "What is your first command?" I asked with soft innuendo, licking and pecking along her jaw.



She told me and I rose above her and stared. "Really?" I asked.



Jade nodded.



I spent the next hour doing all she asked.



*



"Hart," Jonesy said.



"Hart!" Jonesy repeated



I swung my face toward his. "Huh?" I said, wolfing down my second sandwich.



"Are ya okay? Shit, you've been such a tard lately. It's like someone pulled the plug."



"That's an old one," Alex said, scooping up his fourth sandwich.



I grunted a response. I was eating, nothing stopped the Mow.



Jonesy rolled his eyes. "I was outlining the plan ya doofus, and you're zoning or some shit."



"Language cretin," Gramps said smoothly, rolling up to the picnic table with two bags of chips.



"You have a good case of worms or something, Mr. Sims?" Gramps asked as Alex jammed half a sandwich in his craw.



"Or something," John muttered.



He was one to talk, he was on his fifth sandwich, I thought. Archer was delicately and deliberately eating through some potato salad and had declined on the sandwiches.



Gramps eyed Lewis. "Ya sure you don't want more than some tater salad?"



"Yes I am, thank you," Archer said and Gramps stared at him with open suspicion. "It's a little strange that you don't like sandwiches, Lewis. It's unAmerican."



Archer cocked a brow, taking a sip of his pop that he'd unloaded into a glass on the pretense of culinary manners. He lifted his shoulders in a subtle shrug.



I was pretty sure Gramps knew Archer was gay but had elected to focus on his lame eating preferences instead. It was way weirder than his gayness.



I dug a guy that was man enough to make allowances for others. If nothing else, he'd taught me that. Gramps was more concerned with integrity than sexuality.



"So this is a Man Day, guys?" Gramps said, gesturing toward the lake with his mayo knife. The lake bed was now empty with the season, jagged wood stumps like angry prisoners climbed out of the patches of low water left from summer.



The rain blasted down, hammering everything.



It was kinda depressing. It took a special constitution to live in the Pacific Northwest. It rained November through March and liked to not commit to snowing. It made outdoor stuff a hassle. We didn't let it stop us from sitting on the covered deck in the forty degree weather and watching the rain come down as we engulfed three loaves of bread and an entire sub pack of luncheon meat at the picnic table.



"Caleb?" Gramps said.



"Huh?" I responded.



Gramps looked at the other guys. "What's wrong with him?"



What?



I had been kinda thinking about Jade.



Actually, she consumed my thoughts now. I thought I'd been distracted by her before.



That paled to my new reality.



"He's all love-struck..." Jonesy said, making smooching sounds and trying to make out with the arm that wasn't in the cast.



Huh, maybe I could break the other one. That made me laugh thinking about the Jonester in a pair of casts.



Terran smirked at the comment. I narrowed my eyes on him and he sobered up in a hurry. He really couldn't play innocent since he'd been chasing a weird-acting Tiff around for the last week. Not that it'd gotten him anywhere.



"Jade?" Gramps asked.



"Yeah, Gramps, who else?"



"Maybe you became a player overnight?" Gramps said, throwing the pass.



In my shock, I fumbled it. "What... uh no. I'm... she's... ugh!" I said, sounding stupid.



Alex jabbed a finger into the air. "Flag on the play! Your grandpa is not allowed to use teen verbiage."



I kinda agreed but...



Gramps' brows shot down above his eyes. "Would you prefer 'old guy' speak?"



Alex thought about it. "Can ya just talk like a regular adult?"



I actually covered my mouth on this one, it was beyond crooked and making its merry way to crippled.



Grandpa pegged his hip with the hilt of the knife, palming his chin and staring up at the upper deck joists, appearing to be deeply in thought. After a few moments where Jonesy's Cheeto hunt was the only noise, Gramps finally said, "No."



Alex laughed. "You're something, Mac."



Gramps laughed. "You keep that in mind Sims, it might save your muscled ass in the future."



Alex just shook his head. Gramps had a point. He swiveled away, whistling as he favored his leg a little from the damp weather.



"Those pricks put a hurt on your Grandpa," Archer said.



My brows popped at the strength of his words but the other guys nodded.



"Yeah," I agreed.



"I bet he still has a can of whoop ass," Jonesy remarked casually.



I gave him a speculative look. "Yeah," I repeated. Of course Gramps could still take care of shit.



Wow, could he. As it turned out. He'd saved all our asses, collective and otherwise. On that day, he was just Gramps though.



Life had a way of capturing you and forcing maturity down your throat in a gag-worthy feeding.



I was getting ready for a feast I didn't know about.



A banquet.



*



"Ya bunch of Nancy-boys," Gramps said, wiping down a perfectly clean counter with his washrag while steam rose from the soapy water as it filled the basin of his kitchen sink.



He drilled us with those deep slate blue eyes of his, wiping red and chapped hands off on his apron.



Which never made him look like a pussy. Hell, if I wore that I'd never live it down. But Gramps could take everyone.



I looked at Alex.



Maybe not him.



"Ya all roar over here, park your lethargic asses at the table like a cloud of locusts, inhale my food then proceed to moon and whine about the girls."



Yup, that about covered it.



"What happened to Man Freedom?" Gramps asked, the soap from his scalded hands dampening the sides of his apron.



"What's a Nancy?" John asked, deeply troubled by being called a name that sounded somehow creepy and female.



"Sissy-suckin'-titty-baby," I extolled.



"Oh well, that's so flattering," Archer said, bringing his potato salad bowl to the hot water and putting it into the sink until it was buried by suds.

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