Except she’s not perfect today, and the shock of her pitiful state halts me dead in my tracks. She’s pasty, almost grey in complexion, and the designer clothes she usually wears are nowhere to be seen. She has on black sweatpants and a dull grey roll-neck jumper. Hollow eyes cast away from Miller and fall onto me. Despite her personal crisis, it’s clear she still has nothing but contempt where I’m concerned.

‘Good to see you, Olivia.’ There’s not a scrap of sincerity in her tone.

Right on cue, Miller’s palm finds my neck and begins a vain attempt to rub my irritation away. I shrug him off and square my shoulders. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘Livy, go inside.’ His grip is back on my neck and trying to turn me. He can forget it.

‘I asked her a question.’

‘And it’s usually polite to answer, right?’ Cassie retorts, full of smugness.

A red mist starts to descend. He doesn’t only use that term with me? I’ve never thought about it, but now, having it thrown in my face by this lunatic bitch, it’s all I can focus on. He sounds like an arrogant prick when he says it, yet the feeling of betrayal is there. And it’s unwarranted and silly. All I can see in my mind is Cassie draped over Miller all those times, and then quickly I have a flashback of Miller’s office and her lashing at him with sharp fingernails while she screamed, deranged.

‘Cassie,’ Miller warns, still attempting to direct me away from what could potentially be eruptions.

‘Yeah, yeah,’ she huffs on an over-the-top roll of her eyes.

‘Will you quit?’ I snap at Miller, shaking him off. ‘After what she did to you last time, when she attacked you, do you truly expect me to go inside?’

‘What about what he did to me?’ Cassie blurts. ‘The bruises have only just faded!’

‘Then you shouldn’t behave like an animal,’ I hiss in her face as I step forward, fully aware that she wasn’t the only one, and the other animal is beginning to bristle next to me.

‘For fuck’s sake,’ Miller mutters, pulling me back to his side. ‘Cassie, I told you earlier we’ll deal with this tomorrow.’

‘I want to deal with it now.’

‘Deal with what?’ I ask, my irritation flaring. ‘And how the hell do you know where I live?’ I look up at Miller. ‘Did you tell her?’

‘No.’ He grits his teeth, his blue eyes now full of aggravation. ‘No one knows I’m here.’

I throw my arm out in the general direction of Cassie. ‘She does!’

‘Olivia!’ Miller shouts, pulling me back into him. I hadn’t realised I was moving forward. Jesus, I feel like the devil has taken over my mind and body. I feel dangerous.

‘Why is she here?’ I shout. That’s it. I’ve lost it. The shit-fest of today, of the past few months, in fact, has finally caught up with me. It’s all going to spill out of me right now and Cassie is going to cop the lot.

‘I came to apologise,’ she says indignantly.

‘What?’

‘We said tomorrow,’ Miller pipes up, pointing a finger in her face while he keeps a tight hold on me. ‘I told you earlier to wait until tomorrow. Why the hell can’t you just fucking listen for once?’

‘Are you sorry?’ I ask.

Her scowling eyes sink into me, then turn to Miller. ‘Yes.’

‘For what?’ I press.

‘For the way I’ve treated you.’ She turns to me slowly. There’s still no trace of genuineness. She’s here because she doesn’t want to lose Miller. She hates that he’s leaving her behind, that he’s leaving their dark world to find his light.

‘He’s mine now.’ I pry Miller’s hand from my arm and step forward. ‘Body and soul, mine.’ I ignore the pang of trepidation that arises as a result of the mild doubt Cassie is blatantly trying to conceal. I’m Miller’s light, but in the same breath, I comprehend fully that he is a certain kind of darkness to me. But it’s irrelevant. There is no me or him; there is only us. ‘Do you understand?’ She stares at me, and Miller remains quiet in the background, allowing me to have my say.

‘I understand.’

I hold her stare for an age, not willing to be the one who backs down. I don’t blink either. Eventually, it’s Cassie who drops her gaze, and with that silent submission, I turn on my bare feet and leave them on the doorstep behind me.

I’ve nearly made it to the top of the stairs when I hear the front door close. ‘Olivia.’ His placid call of my name tears at my heartstrings and I turn, keeping a steadying grip on the banister. ‘She needs out, too. I’m not leaving her behind. We’ve been stuck in this world together; we’ll be leaving together.’

‘Does she want out?’

‘Yes,’ he affirms as he steps forward. ‘I can’t see you sad.’

I shake my head. ‘Impossible.’

‘I’ve shut the door. That’s it. It’s just us in here now.’

‘But the world is still outside, Miller,’ I say quietly. ‘And we need to open that door and face it.’ I escape, leaving him downstairs in turmoil.

He needs his thing as much as I do, and I hate myself for depriving us both of it.

Chapter 11

Miller didn’t deprive us of our thing. He joined me in bed within minutes and moved in close. I wanted to deny him, to hurt him for hurting me – even if he didn’t do it directly. But I didn’t move away from his delicious heat, my own need for solace outweighing the need to punish him.