He grins.

“Secondly,” I continue, “I’m not interested in you. Not even a little bit. If the other night didn’t tell you that, then this most certainly should.” I lean in closer. “Not. Interested. So seriously, go away, or I’ll be forced to ...”

“To what?” he challenges, a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Hurt you,” I say, and then inwardly slap myself for that childish remark.

Get it together. You’re a professional.

I straighten, put on my fakest smile, and say, “I’m glad you enjoyed your meal, sir.”

Then I turn and walk off.

The man just can’t take a hint.

I’m not interested.

Not at all.

Not even a little.

Right?

~*~*~*~

“Come on, Rae,” I sigh, picking up the empty pizza boxes and stacking them beside the bin. “You’re pregnant, not crippled.”

Rae shoots me a look from the couch and kicks her swollen feet out. “You don’t know, you’ve never been pregnant. Oh, wait, and you never will after what he did to you.”

My insides twist, and I stare brokenly at the girl I’m trying my best to help, who is trying her best to push me away. I don’t understand why. I know she’s hurt, I know she’s angry, I know she’s scared, but why she’s doing this to me, I’ll never understand. This isn’t my fault. It’s his. It’s York’s.

“Don’t,” I whisper, my voice broken and shallow. “Don’t you use that against me.”

She rolls her eyes. “Stop with the pity party, Maddie. Nobody cares.”

“Baylee,” I growl. “And you’re walking a fine line.”

She rolls her eyes again. “We both know I’m not. Kick me out. Go on, I dare you. You’d last five minutes before you came running for me. You can’t help it. It’s all that good in you. York used to love it, until he didn’t ...”

My chest tightens again, and I continue picking up her mess. “Everyone has a breaking point, Rae. Remember that. I won’t put up with this forever. If it wasn’t for the fact that I saw what he did to you, to me, then I wouldn’t do any of this for you. I loved you like a sister, but even that’s wearing thin.”

She grunts. “We’re not sisters, we’ll never be sisters. You just can’t let go, that’s the only reason I’m here.”

“You’re here,” I grind out. “Because I want to help you and your baby.”

“Who cares about the baby?” she snaps. “I don’t. I wish it would just fucking leave.”

I flinch. “That’s your child, Rae.”

“Yeah, and I didn’t want the damned thing. Another reason not to like you.”

I shake my head. There is no point arguing with her. It won’t help anyone. I take a deep breath and turn, walking down the hall to my bedroom and closing the door behind me. I press my back against it, close my eyes, and take a staggering breath. It’s only until the baby comes, when I know the baby is in a safe home, I’ll help Rae into a shelter and get my life together.

I press a hand to my stomach.

The painful reminder that I can never have children right there beneath my fingers.

My phone rings from my pocket, and I pull it out, glancing down at the screen. Shania. Thank God. She’s the only one who can talk me out of going out there and smacking some sense into Rae, possibly committing a murder. I press my finger to the green key and answer it with a whispered, “Hey.”

“What’s wrong?” my best friend asks, her voice immediately concerned.

“Rae. Again.”

She sighs, and I can feel it right down to my toes. I know that sigh. It’s the sigh she always gives when we talk about Rae. She wishes I’d remove her from the picture, she doesn’t understand why I help her. Sometimes I don’t understand why I help her either. But, really, Rae is the only family I have left. She might not be my sister, but for many years she was close enough.

I don’t have a mom and dad. They both died when I was only eleven. It’s just me. No siblings. A couple of aunties and uncles I don’t talk to often, and grandparents in another state that are now in a nursing home. I’m the only thing I’ve got, and Rae is the only thing she’s got. I can’t just give up on her. That would make me no better than him.

And I’ll never be him.

“What did the little brat do now?”

I sigh, rubbing my forehead. “Just mouthing off, being lazy, the usual Rae games.”

“You can’t keep putting up with this,” Shan says, her voice soft yet firm. “How long are you going to keep giving in to this girl?”

“She has nobody else, Shan. You know that.”

“Yeah, neither do you, but guess what? You’re still putting it all out there for her. She’s not doing that for you. She’s doing nothing for you, actually. Nothing but ruining your life. I know you care, honey, but there has to be a limit.”

“What do you want me to do?” I say, my voice a little higher than I’d like.

“Stand up to her. Stop giving things to her. If she’s going to be a pig, don’t give her food.”

“She’s pregnant ...”

“Yeah, and she’ll step up really quickly when you take the benefits away. You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to keep giving so much, you can have her there without letting her walk all over you.”

God.

My head hurts.

I can’t think with this kind of pressure. Honestly, I can’t.

“Listen, I’m going to go,” I say, my voice strained.

“I’m not trying to upset you, sweetie. I’m just ...”

“I know,” I say softly. “I know you’re not. I love you. I just need some air.”

She hesitates. “Okay.”

“I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Okay,” she says again.

I hang up the phone, and a tear rolls out and tumbles down my cheek.

I just don’t know if I can do this anymore.

Shania is right. How much can one person take before they break?

 

 

CHAPTER 5

NOW – BAYLEE

It takes me a moment to realize someone is calling my name.