What I Need

“You don’t need to say anything. I’m just letting you know how it is,” CJ retorts. “Now, you making a choice means I need to back off, and even though I’m not feeling that choice, I’ll respect it.”

“Thank you.” I smile a little, liking his attitude about this. “And I’d really like us to stay friends.”

“Now you’re pushing it.”

My smile disappears and I’m back to frowning. “Huh?”

“I don’t do that,” he throws out.

“You don’t do what?” I question with a little sass.

He better not tell me he doesn’t have female acquaintances. Beth and him are tight. I know this for a fact.

“I don’t keep friends with women who have had my dick in their mouth,” CJ shares.

Oh . . .

Another fact, Beth has absolutely not done that. I would’ve been told about it.

This is different, but it’s something I want, and it should be entirely possible. Why can’t this work?

“Well, just pretend I didn’t do that,” I suggest.

“Do you need a reminder of the conversation we had not a minute ago?” he asks. “I’m not forgetting shit, Riley.”

“Okay. Then . . . I guess we won’t be friends.” I feel my shoulders drop as I look to the door, then at the shower I’m supposed to be standing in. I sigh, telling him, “I should go.”

“Fuck,” he mumbles, voice tight. “Fine, goddamn it. We’ll be friends.”

Hope flutters in my stomach. “Really?” I ask.

“Yeah, really. But just remember, you wanted this. So when the Tully charm doesn’t wash off, I don’t want to hear shit about it.”

I feel my forehead crease with a wrinkle. “All righty,” I reply, not knowing how else to respond to that when I hardly understand it. “I really should go so, um, thanks for being so cool about this.”

CJ chuckles. “Yeah. Sure thing.”

I disconnect the call before he has the chance to throw out another ‘darlin’’. I’m not sure I can handle that right now. Then I quickly dial up Beth.

“Hello?”

“We were on a break!” I harshly whisper into the phone, pressing my free-hand against my stomach when it rolls with nausea. “Not broken up. Oh, my God. I feel like Ross.”

Only my life is not a hilarious sitcom.

Reality sucks.

“What?” A shuffling noise comes through the line. “Wait, Reed, hold on a minute. Stop.”

He grumbles, low and annoyed-sounding, then I hear his gruff voice ask an impatient, “Who is it?”

Most likely against some body-part of Beth’s.

“Oh, crap. Am I interrupting honeymoon time?” I ask, wincing away from the shower. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. You’re fine,” she assures me before whispering, “It’s your sister.”

“She can call back,” Reed says.

“I can call back,” I echo.

“What do you mean, you weren’t really broken up?” Beth asks, ignoring us both. “So, you and Richard are still together? Is that what you want? You guys have been fighting a lot.”

“Just because of the whole job thing,” I reply quickly. “I want to be with him. I love him. I just . . . feel really terrible.”

“Why?”

I bite my lip. “Uh . . .”

Beth doesn’t know about my weekend with CJ. Nobody knows. Reed sure as hell doesn’t. And if I discuss this with Beth right now, there’s a chance he could overhear every single detail of my unfaithfulness.

And then go after CJ . . .

And get his ass beat.

I rush out a breath. “Nothing. I don’t know. I just, wish I would’ve clarified our situation before I left.” I try and peer at my reflection again, to see the guilt on my face, but condensation clouds the mirror. I rub at the dampness beading up on my neck.

“I don’t think you have any reason to feel terrible, Riley.”

I close my eyes. You have no idea what I’ve done.

“And you’re not Ross,” she laughs. “Ross messed up big time.”

I wince. My heart grows ten times heavier.

Beth giggles away from the phone, and says something I can’t make out to my brother.

They’re in love. Blissfully married and in honeymoon mode.

And I’m interrupting them.

“Okay. Go get back to whatever you were doing. I’ll talk to you later.”

We end the call with my new sister smiling through her farewell. I can’t. Fresh tears well up in my eyes.

Then I finally strip and get my butt in the shower.

I have Tully charm to wash off.

I TOSS A few steaks into my cart, having finally decided on dinner, then head for the checkout so I can get out of here and get home to cook up some food.

The way Food Giant is laid out, if I’m coming from the meat department I gotta cut through produce to get to the front of the store. Normally that isn’t a problem. What the fuck do I care? I like produce.

But today, when I turn the corner and catch sight of Riley standing near a crate that happens to be in the path I'm heading, it becomes a problem.

A major fucking problem.

Fuck. You gotta be shitting me.

Two years of living in Ruxton and not once do I remember ever seeing this girl around.

Yeah, I missed an opportunity a year ago. But shit, that doesn’t even count, considering I don’t remember it. And for some fucked in the head reason, I didn’t even look at her during that run-in, but other than that? Not once have I ever seen Riley. Not on my lunch break when I was grabbing a sandwich. Not while I was shopping for food. Nowhere. Hell, I’ve spent most of my two years here not knowing she even existed. Even after I knew about her, I still never saw her around.