What I Need

Maybe my confession is enough. Maybe we don’t even need to talk about this . . .

“You’re living with CJ?” Her voice is a whisper now.

I flinch, hearing footsteps, then the creak of a door. I picture Beth hiding behind it.

“Um, yep. Mmhmm,” I reply.

“Why?” she asks, sounding stunned. “And how? How did this even happen?”

“He needed someone to help him around the house since he’s laid up, and I needed a place to live,” I explain. “I couldn’t stay at Richard’s anymore. I needed to move out, and I didn’t want to cramp your newlywed style. CJ offered, so I took it. I’m helping him out.”

And I’m having the best time doing it, I think.

“You wouldn’t have cramped our style, Riley. You’re always welcome here,” Beth informs me.

My mouth twitches.

Seriously the best sister ever. Reed did so good.

“Thank you,” I tell her. “But, you know, this is better. I’m able to give CJ a hand.”

“Is that all you’re doing?”

My brow furrows. “What do you mean?”

“Riley . . .” Her voice trails off.

“What?” I ask. “I’m helping him.”

“Are you sure nothing else is going on? You’re just helping him? That’s it?”

He makes me laugh. We can talk for hours. I’m smiling constantly.

I close my eyes and take in a deep breath, then I resume looking down at my shorts. “That’s it,” I answer, because nothing else is going on. We’re talking and laughing. That’s not stuff going on. That’s just talking and laughing. And besides, nothing else should be going on. I’m CJ’s nurse. He needs me—that’s why he offered me a place to stay. The entire reason for us living together, and I want to do this right. I want to help him heal.

Speaking of which, I need to get in there and see what all exercises they have him doing. It’s my job to make sure he continues with his PT at home.

“Riley,” Beth speaks soothingly as I stand and take hold of the sketchpad I brought along to take notes in.

“Seriously. Nothing else is going on. I promise,” I assure her. “But, still, can you do me a favor and not say anything to Reed? I’ll deal with him when I’m ready.”

Which might be never.

Beth exhales tensely in my ear, but gives me a promising, “I won’t say anything.”

“Thank you,” I reply, feeling relieved and breathe-easy-good about this phone call. “Oh, and you never answered me. How are you feeling? Better, I hope.” I hold the notepad against my chest and start moving toward the therapy room.

“Thanks. I will in eight months or so.”

“Eight months?” I make a face. “What? Why eight months?”

“I’m pregnant.”

“This is amazing! I’m so excited for them. Oh, my God, I’m going to be an aunt!” Riley does a little dance in the driver’s seat after starting up her car, wiggling her hips and smacking the steering wheel in celebration. Her tits bounce under the tight black sleeveless top she’s wearing.

Jesus.

Never in my life have I hated an article of clothing as much as I do right fucking now. She couldn't have worn my hoodie today?

“Yeah, that’s great,” I mumble, wincing as I relax back against the seat. My ankle is throbbing from the PT. I’m regretting not taking any pain meds before we left the house. “I should give Reed a call and congratulate him.”

“What? No, you can't!” Riley’s head snaps in my direction and she looks at me with wide, panicked eyes. “You can't act like you know. Beth said she was only telling me right now. She's not telling anyone else until she gets a blood test done. You know, just to be sure.” Riley frowns. Her brow furrows as her hands slide off the wheel. “I'm sorry,” she adds, looking on the verge of giving me a couple hundred more apologies.

“It’s cool. I hear you,” I reply, understanding why Beth would feel that way. It would suck going back and telling everyone you weren’t pregnant after sharing news like that.

“I just don’t want Reed questioning why I would tell you, you know?” Riley adds.

“Babe.” I give her a look, making sure this sticks with her. “I hear you,” I repeat.

Her explanation isn't needed. And we sure as hell aren't doing any more sorrys.

Riley offers me a soft smile and drops her head with a nod, accepting this. “Are you in a lot of pain right now?” she asks.

“`Cause I can’t call Reed? Crushed. But I think I’ll get over it.” I grin when she shoves at my arm. “Yeah, I’m a little sore. Those calf raises she had me doing sucked. I wasn't expecting to do all that on my first day. Figured I'd just get iced and rubbed down for an hour.” I cock an eyebrow at her. “I'm still up for that, if you're offering.”

Riley rolls her eyes but her smile grows. She likes when I joke with her.

Although, if I'm being honest, I'm not sure I'm ever really joking when it comes to Riley.

I want her. God . . . fuck, I want her. All the time. That hasn't changed.

“How about a special treat instead? You up for it?” She puts the car into reverse and backs us out of the space.

I watch her profile as we clear the lot and get out onto the main road. I stare at the curve in her mouth and the freckles dotting her lifted cheek. I want to tuck her hair behind her ear so I can see the delicate, tanned line of her neck, but I don't.