When I Fall

Still lost. Still mildly terrified by my actions.

“Well, in that case.” Molly’s words have me lifting my gaze to her. She opens up her clutch and withdraws a small, light blue envelope. “We’re having an engagement party next Saturday. You two should come. Show off your happiness.” She throws in that last remark with some sass, and I’m suddenly geared up and ready for this fucking engagement party.

I gladly take the envelope, but Reed snatches it out of my hand and tosses it back at her. It falls to the table.

“I’m not interested.”

Molly smirks as if she knows the game, looking between the two of us. “Right. I didn’t think so.” She snaps her clutch closed and looks down at Reed, ignoring me completely. “It was fun running into you, Reed. You look good.”

Her heels click away on the wood floor, and I slump against my seat, letting out a whoosh of air.

“Wow. She was something else.”

He looks over at me, dropping his elbows to the table, his hands clasped together inches from his face.

“What the fuck was that?” he asks gruffly.

“What was what?”

“The kissing. The girlfriend bullshit.” His head shakes ever so slightly. “What was that?”

“I did you a favor,” I answer defensively, my voice tight with emotion. “I saw the way you reacted to her. I knew she was someone who hurt you, and . . .” I almost don’t say it, but I’ve already made this pretty clear to everyone in this bar. My voice softens. “And I like you, okay? I didn’t want to see you look like that.”

“So you kiss me? What good did that do?”

I suddenly want to slide under this booth and either curl up into a ball or punch this guy right in the nuts. He was clearly hitting on me. I’m sure we would’ve kissed eventually with or without the audience. So what’s the big deal?

Instead of bombarding him with questions, I settle on giving him the same glare he’s giving me as I hide the rejection slow burning beneath my surface.

“You know the best way to get back at someone who hurt you? Without risking jail time? Show them how happy you are with someone else. Even if you’re over the other person, it can still sting. Not always. It was a risk I was willing to take, and it worked. She clearly got uncomfortable seeing you and me together.”

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t do that,” he hisses. “I don’t . . .” His eyes pinch shut. He turns his head away from me, digging the heel of his hands into his eyes. “What the fuck?” he whispers harshly before raking both hands down his face. He looks over at me. “And roping me into that engagement party? Are you out of your mind? Why the fuck would I want to go to that?”

I reach for the card and hold it out for him to see. “This was a challenge. She’s not convinced we’re together. I bet she doesn’t think we’ll show up to this.”

“We won’t.”

“Maybe you won’t,” I counter. “I can play your girlfriend with or without you, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Of course, it’ll be a lot more convincing if you’re there, which I think you should be. This is the perfect opportunity to stick it to that snobby bitch.”

He stares at me in silence, searching my face for reasoning as his taste continues to saturate my mouth.

Watermelon, I think. Maybe the gum he was chewing earlier. It’s sweet, and tangy, and him. I’d go for seconds, but I honestly don’t know what he would do if I attacked him again. I can’t handle him pushing me away, so I keep my lips to myself and savor what he’s already given me.

“Look,” I begin, dropping my hands to my lap. “It might be uncomfortable being around your ex and her fiancé, but it’ll be worth seeing that look on her face again when I kiss you. That was priceless.”

“Why are you doing this? What’s in this for you?” he asks, concern flooding his voice.

I set the card down, grab my Kindle off the table, and settle back against the booth. My eyes stay on the screen as it slowly powers on. “I already told you. I didn’t like seeing you look like that. I’m not doing this for me.”

I like you. I want to spend time with you. How obvious do you want me to be?

“I want to do this for you, so I am. It’s that simple.”

He stands from the booth, running a rough hand though his hair before looking down at me. Our eyes lock, and I see that my explanation of my actions isn’t settling him at all. He’s either not buying it, or he’s not okay with it, but I made my decision. I’m going to this thing. Maybe I can convince her on my own that we’re together.

“I’m not going,” he states, his words conclusive. “If you want to go by yourself and pretend we’re something we’re not, go ahead. Have at it.”

His words sting my ears, and something else in my body.

More central, and slightly moronic due to it’s tendency to fall for the wrong guy.

Why is he so different with me now? What the hell did I do besides continue what he started?

“You kissed me back,” I say, halting his first step as he tries to leave the table. He slowly turns his head to look at me, and I swallow hard before I elaborate. “I didn’t imagine that. You could’ve pushed me off, but you didn’t. You really kissed me, and I think you liked it.”