When I Fall

A hand on my cheek draws my attention back down.

“Beth,” Reed whispers against my mouth, biting my lip when I whimper at that single word.

My name. God, it’s unfair how sexy he can make it sound.

He threads his fingers through my hair, dropping his forehead to mine. “Tell me you’re okay with this. Tell me it’s too much. Just say something. I’m about to lose my mind on you.”

I stare into his eyes, the palest blue I’ve ever seen. Like the sky after a snowfall.

I’m about to lose my mind on you.

“Beth?”

I nearly drop my glass. Both hands steady it as I focus my gaze across the table. Mia keeps herself from smiling with tight lips, while I filter through images of Reed’s dick for the question Mia asked me before I zoned out.

Tied up. Right. Got it.

I take a quick drink before I answer, hoping to douse the fire I’ve just ignited beneath my skin. I don’t feel the slightest relief.

“No, I was free. Very free. Never tied up. I don’t even know what that’s like.” My words come out in a blur. A very unconvincing blur.

Shit, one word and I’m transported back to Saturday night. My skin feels like it’s ready to singe off at any second. My heart is racing, threatening to send me into shock. God help me if she says anything about asses . . .

Mia rests her chin on her hand. Her face is expressionless. “Mm. Okay.”

The front door opens, the noise quickly followed by an animated, “I’m here!”

Mia snaps her head to the right at the same moment her hand loudly flattens on the table. “Shh! If you wake up Chase, I’m going to punch you in the throat.”

Tessa walks into the kitchen, hands full of grocery bags. She pauses in the doorway and frowns at Mia. “Sorry, boo. I forgot.” She raises the bags, smiling as she walks to the counter. “I brought goodies.”

Mia gets up and joins her, and I wonder if I should be doing anything besides sitting here, daydreaming about Reed’s kink. I scoot my chair out as I stand, but slowly lower myself back in it when Mia motions for me to sit.

“We got it, sweetie. Just relax.”

Tessa leans back to look at me, taking the back of her hand and brushing the red hair out of her face. Her smile slowly stretches across her mouth. “Hey, Clapton. You ready for girl time?”

I stare back at her, and the longer I go without answering, the more knowing her smile becomes. She suddenly looks like the Cheshire cat, grinning at Alice who has no idea what the fuck she’s getting into.

What exactly happens during girl time?

I know we’re eating lunch. I imagine we’re going to be talking, getting to know each other better, building a friendship and all. I’m prepared for the mom discussion. I’m also willing to talk about the rough couple of months after she died. Mia and Tessa will probably talk about their husbands or boyfriends. Their families will most likely be brought up. That all seems pretty standard. So, what am I missing? Why the look?

Leaning back in my chair, I finally give Tessa a quick nod and then let my gaze wander to the window I’m sitting near. “You sure I can’t help with anything? I really don’t mind.”

“We got it.” Mia carries two plates over to the table. She sets one down in front of me, taking the other one for herself and claiming her seat with it. “If you don’t like the shrimp salad, you can blame my mother-in-law. It’s her recipe.”

I look down at the plate, and saliva fills my mouth. Everything on it looks amazing. The shrimp salad, the bag of chips on the side. Even the pickle. Maybe it’s going two days without really eating anything substantial, but I really don’t think I’m going to have trouble with this plate.

I give Mia a smile as I pick up my roll. “I’m sure it’s delicious. I’m so hungry though, it could taste like garbage and I’d probably still eat it.”

“Oh, well, I guess that clears me to cook for us next time,” Tessa jokes, joining us and sitting in the chair next to Mia. “I only know how to make garbage.”

The three of us share a laugh, and then fall into a comfortable silence as we eat. I take a bite of my sandwich, then another, chewing as I look around the quaint kitchen.

There’s drawings covering the refrigerator, ones of dragons and airplanes, and a few of stick-figure people standing in front of a house. It’s adorable. I imagine every room having something kid related in it. A toy, or a page ripped out of a coloring book, displayed proudly somewhere.

“Are you married, Tessa?” I ask after noticing the framed wedding photo on the wall next to the window.

Mia pauses with her sandwich close to her mouth. Her eyes slowly roll to her right, where Tessa is gently hitting her head on the table next to her plate.

“Sore subject?” I ask, regretting my urgent desire to start-up conversation.

Tessa lifts her head, laughing, and bumps her shoulder playfully against Mia’s, who resumes eating after situating herself in her chair.

Tessa looks over at me. “No, it’s not. I just like being all dramatic about it. I’m hoping it’ll kick Luke’s ass into gear and make him ask me.”

“I can’t believe he hasn’t already,” Mia says, disbelief tightening her jaw.

Tessa tilts her head, glaring. “I know, right? It’s been almost six months since he told me he was going to. And I keep thinking he’s going to do it, and he doesn’t, and then I end up looking like an idiot.” She shakes her head with pursed lips, and then glances between the two of us. “The other day he dragged me to Home Depot with him and bent down to tie his shoe right in front of me. I started screaming. I thought, this is it! He’s doing it! Everyone was staring at me. Some were clapping. Then I look down and see he’s just fixing his laces.”