When I Fall

“Don’t be fucking stupid. We’re going with you. We’re getting ready to end our shift anyway,” Luke adds.

I pinch my eyes shut. Fuck, I hadn’t thought about how this could play out. Weapons? Could this asshole actually be dangerous?

Images of Beth cowering, scared and sad filter through my mind.

I’ll kill him.

“Fine, whatever. Hurry up.”

I disconnect the call, shoving my phone away.

“Reed?” Hattie’s kind voice lifts my head. Our eyes meet across the room. “Bring her back. She loves you.”

I wait for Ben and Luke by the front door, wiping the wetness from my eyes.

EIGHT HOURS, TWO STATE LINES, and the impending obstacle of traffic stand between me and Beth.

The guys show up after ditching their patrol car, but staying in uniform. Ben insists on driving his truck, keeping his speed close to one hundred miles per hour for the bulk of the trip. I realize quickly how grateful I am to have them with me. If I had made this journey alone, I would’ve either gotten pulled over for speeding, or road rage. Most likely both. We’re making great time, but I’m ready to crawl out of my skin. My stomach has twisted into an unforgiving knot. My leg won’t stop bouncing restlessly against the seat.

“How you doing back there?”

“Mm. Fine,” I answer Ben, or Luke, was it? My head shakes against my hand. Definitely not fine. I look up front. “I’ve never thrown a punch before. Ever, but I might actually kill this guy. There’s a good chance I’ll see him with Beth and lose my fucking mind. If that happens, am I looking at jail time?”

Wouldn’t that be the perfect end to this nightmare. Telling Beth I love her behind a glass partition.

Luke turns his head. “You’re not going to kill him. We’ll let you hit him a little, but unless we see him doing shit to Beth, hurting her in some way or threatening us, there’s not much we can do. We can’t arrest him for being mean to her.”

“He might not even be home. Most people work until five, six o’clock. If it’s just Beth there, do you really want to stick around and wait for this prick to come home just so you can punch him?”

I glare at the rear-view mirror, meeting Ben’s eyes.

Asshole. Like you wouldn’t camp out on someone’s lawn for a month if they looked at Mia wrong.

His gaze trains on the road. “Fair enough.”

“If he has weapons and shit, that’s different though. And we can make it pretty fucking clear that he needs to stay the hell away from Beth. You can drive that point home.” Luke leans closer to the GPS. “We’re close. Ten miles.”

Ten miles. God, I can practically feel the warmth of Beth’s skin.

“How do I,” I clear my throat. My hand skims down my neck, tugs at my collar. Fuck, I’m burning up.

“What?” Ben probes in my silence.

“Tell her . . . I need to tell her I love her.” My tongue thickens in my mouth.

Damn it. Is this how it’s going to be?

I meet Ben’s eyes again, gesturing at him. “You’re so fucking upfront with your feelings. How can I be like that with her? Is it enough to just say it? Will she know how fucking lost I am?”

“You’ve said it before,” he remarks evenly. “To that girl you proposed to. Was it hard then?”

“No, but this is Beth. I’ve never felt like this.”

“You’ve never loved anyone but her.”

“Right.” I lean back against the seat. My eyes lower. “Fuck,” I whisper.

That’s it. There it is, right there. How did I not see it until now?

I stirred all night in the absence of Beth. I’ve suffered through every separation from her, even in the beginning when we were only pretending.

Was I ever really pretending?

This, with her, has always been different. Molly could’ve been states away for years and I would’ve handled it. I never loved her. It’s only ever been Beth.

“It’ll be enough,” Ben assures.

I lift my head and catch his gaze briefly before his eyes turn back to the road.

“Tell her everything. How much you love her, how long you’ve felt like that. Don’t hold back. Don’t keep shit from her she deserves to hear. I think she’ll see how lost you are for her, Reed. It’s fucking obvious to everyone else. Right now, she just needs to hear it.”

“What if she doesn’t believe me? What if she thinks I’m just saying it now because she left?”

“She’ll believe you,” Luke assures me. He jerks his chin. “Just don’t say it while you’re knocking out this fucker, yeah? Wait ’til you can grab her face and hold her and shit. Girls love that.”

Ben laughs. “Really? Is that what you did with Tessa? Played the romance card?”

“Nah, that’s your style. I just fucked her ’til she knew I loved her.” Luke turns halfway in his seat. “That always works too. I . . . shit!” His body slams against the door. “Jesus! I was kidding!” he yells, prying Ben’s fist off his shirt.

“I’ll fucking bury you if you say shit like that again about my sister.” He slaps the back of Luke’s head. “Asshole.”

“You mean, my wife? You can start calling her that, you know.” Luke sits up, rubbing the back of his head. “And I was fucking kidding.”

I lean back with a heavy sigh. My leg resumes bouncing. “How much longer?”