When I Was Yours

I tend not to get dazzled by cute guys anymore. They’re in such abundance here, and I see them daily while working at the Shack.

That was up until yesterday when I was dazzled by the super tall and super hot guy who lives on the beach and watches me draw.

I literally couldn’t stop looking at him.

With a body like a god, he’s stupidly handsome. And when I say stupidly handsome, I mean, he’s the kind of handsome that would make a smart girl go stupid and also make that smart girl do stupid things.

I could imagine doing a lot of stupid things with Adam.

A guy like him could make a girl like me lose my damn mind.

He’s so intriguing, and his eyes are amazing. They are the most intense blue-green color that I have ever seen. They’re practically turquoise. His eyes are like an infinite pool of water, a place you could easily get lost in and never once get bored.

And a girl like me could easily get lost in a guy like him.

Aside from all his physical attributes, there is just something about him.

I’ve been finding myself thinking about him more and more since we spoke yesterday.

Throughout the last week, every day, when I went down to the beach, I wondered if he’d be there, watching. As the week went on, I started to feel a little sad when my hour was up, and I had to leave to catch my bus.

Now, Adam has asked me out, and I really want to go out with him even though I won’t actually have time to date him, especially when school starts back up. In my last year of high school, I’ll still be working evenings and weekends at the Shack on top of the schoolwork I’ll have to do, so that won’t leave any time to date.

But Adam has got me wanting things I shouldn’t, like doing hot naked things with him.

Oh my God! I can’t believe I just thought that!

I cover my face with my hands, a blush creeping over my body at the thought.

It’s all just so crazy! Adam watching me from his balcony, while I pretended not to know, and was secretly drawing his picture.

Then, his friend Max told me that Adam was going to ask me out. Honestly, when he said that, I nearly burst out laughing. I thought I’d skipped back to kindergarten. I didn’t really take Max that seriously—until Adam showed up on the beach and started talking to me.

He didn’t seem shy, like I had expected. In fact, he wasn’t shy at all. He was the total opposite. If anything, he was overly confident but not in that annoying cocky way that some guys could be.

And I just felt strangely comfortable around him, talking to him. It was like I’d known him for a long time already, which was crazy. I felt like I could say anything to him, and it wouldn’t matter.

And I did.

“I’ll let you know.”

I almost laugh out loud at myself.

Listen to me, being evasive. I was dying to say yes.

Honestly, I would have gone out with him then and there if I hadn’t had to get home to look after Casey while Dad went out.

Dad goes out one night a week to play darts with his friend Terry. Aside from that, he doesn’t go out, so I didn’t want to let him down.

But I’m thinking, when I go to the beach later today after I finish work, I might just accept Adam’s invitation to go out. It might not turn into anything anyway, but it’s a date with a hot guy, and I haven’t had one of those in…well, never.

Dragging my tired butt out of bed, I head to the bathroom.

The house is quiet. Casey and Dad must still be sleeping.

Showered, teeth brushed, hair tied into a ponytail, and dressed in my work uniform, I’m ready to go half an hour later.

I head out into our tiny kitchen, which overlooks our tiny living room.

Dad’s in there with Casey.

She’s watching cartoons while eating breakfast. Typical seven-year-old. You wouldn’t know, aside from her short hair, that she only finished having radiotherapy six months ago. She only lost hair in a patch on the part of her brain they were treating. But she said she looked stupid with long hair and a bald patch, so she had me take her to the hair salon to cut it all off.

Casey had an ependymoma, grade II, brain tumor. And she’s the bravest kid I have the privilege to know and love.

The tumor was discovered ten months ago, only two years after we’d lost Mom.

Out shopping for my birthday presents, my parents had gotten into a car accident while I was in school and Casey was in preschool. A truck driver had a heart attack behind the wheel, lost control, and careened through the midsection, straight into my parents’ car.

Mom was killed instantly. Dad survived, barely.

Casey and I had to go into foster care while Dad recovered in the hospital, as we had no other family to take care of us. Our grandparents on both sides had died before we were born.

Dad had taken some pretty severe trauma to the head, which affected his short-term memory, and he lost use of his right arm.

He can never work again.

My dad had been an accountant. We’d had a great life. We weren’t rich, but we weren’t poor either.

When Dad had to quit work, it was tough. Fortunately, his old job covered his medical bills. But we still had a mortgage to pay, and the compensation he’d received from the accident wasn’t going to last forever.

Then, Casey got sick, and things got worse, substantially worse.

Casey had been having headaches. Our doctor checked her over, and had referred her to see an ophthalmologist. Before she even went to the appointment, she collapsed at school. They rushed her to the hospital, and that was when they discovered the tumor on her brain.

She had surgery where they removed as much of the tumor as they could. Then, she began radiotherapy four weeks later. What was left of the tumor after surgery shrank to nothing with the radiation therapy. The cancer was gone, and the doctor said her physical signs were well. So, she was going to be fine.

But we were left with big medical bills. After Dad had left his job, he didn’t take out private healthcare. And surgery and radiation therapy didn’t come cheap. So, we had to sell the house and downsize to a three-bedroom rent-controlled apartment on Carbon Canyon Road. The money from the sale of our old house and the compensation that Dad received from the car accident paid off Casey’s hospital bills.

Dad’s disability checks as well as the money I bring in from working at Grady’s are what keeps us afloat. But it’s not enough. I work as much as I can at Grady’s, taking on extra shifts when they come up, like what I’ve been doing this week. But I will have to go to part-time hours once school starts back up, and when I graduate, I’ll work for Grady full-time until I can find something that pays more.

I would quit school now and work full-time, but Dad won’t let me. It kills him that I go out to work now. He wants me to be a normal teenager, enjoying summers at the beach with friends. But I told him that’s just not the way it’s supposed to be for me at the moment. So, he’s given up fighting me on it.

I get a Pop-Tart and warm it in the toaster.

Grabbing my bag, I check to make sure my sketchpad and pen are in there.

I go into the living room.

“I’m going to work.” I lean over and kiss Dad on the top of his head.

“You got a hug for me, Case?”

She gets up with a beautiful big smile on her face. “Have a good day at work.”

“I’ll try to. Love you, Case.” I give her a big squeeze before letting go.